


Sinner or Saviour?

by elfinder



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: AU, Drama, Fantasy, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfinder/pseuds/elfinder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>After years of feeling lost, Blaine Anderson thought he’d finally found his path in life: one that would make his family proud while keeping him far away from a life of sin. But despite his best efforts to start anew, Blaine finds himself falling into the same morally reprehensible patterns as before. Seeking guidance, Blaine looks to God for help but never in a million years did he expect his prayers to be answered — especially when his potential angel-demon hybrid saviour stirs in him the very thing he had been trying so hard to escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story came about when I took on a prompt as a pitch hitter for the Klaine Reverse Bang challenge. It turned out to be quite an interesting challenge, as I’ve never written a fic involving religion before. I had a lot of fun collaborating with the artist, colfer-my-criss, who gave me feedback on the story as I developed it! Big thanks to my beta for this story too, and getting it editing in such a timely fashion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the art that prompted this story was inspired by the show Supernatural, which I’m not super familiar with -- but I am familiar with it and have seen an ep or two. In this story, unlike in the show, demons and angels do not have human vessels. They create human bodies for when they need to come down on earth but they aren’t permanent. How long their physical bodies last depends on how much energy they use and their own power levels.

  


Prologue

The day was like any other for Blaine Anderson, who for some reason didn't appear to be in the best of moods. Gone was the usual spring in his step and there was no carefree grin on his handsome face either. The odd thing was, Blaine had every reason to be happy with the day’s outcome; he'd aced yet another test, so life as far as he was concerned should have been going great. Unfortunately, all was not good, not really, and it that weren't enough, for some reason Blaine wasn't able to counteract his growing depression. Making him wonder why that was and why today of all days? It seemed that today was just not his day.

 _'I feel so lost,'_ Blaine thought, choosing to hit the nail right on the head instead of just wallowing in his misery.

Although, Blaine had felt lost countless times before, the difference now being that it hadn't felt this bad for a number of years -- not since _then._ Great. Just what Blaine didn't need: even _more_ doubt and confusion. The last thing he wanted was to relive those struggles again, so he shook the shameful memories away. As Blaine continued down the stairs of the main campus building, he reminded himself that he had a lot to be thankful for: he was finally away from his parents; and attending his fourth year of College at The Catholic University of America located in Washington, D.C. That left just another four years at Theological College and then he could be ordained as a priest. So all in all, Blaine had a lot going for him, that and much more. He had good friends, plus a whole community at the local church. So why did he feel so unhappy?

Since his attempts to find a solution to his piling questions were going nowhere, Blaine let his attention drift from his own personal dilemma to watch the crowds of people on the nearby street. Noticing straight away how most of them appeared to be in better spirits than him and Blaine stopped to lean against a nearby building so he could study them at a closer distance.

I wasn't long before Blaine noticed a girl wearing a pretty floral print dress and he smiled as he watched her brighten up at the sight of a young man who was heading her way. _'Ah young love, is there anything more beautiful?'_

Unfortunately, Blaine's pleasant mood didn't last for long as jealousy began to wedge its way in and before he knew it, Blaine was scowling at the happy young couple now walking arm in arm down the sidewalk. _'Come on Blaine, you're better than this,'_ Blaine chided as he began to walk aimlessly among the flow of foot traffic.

But was he really though? Blaine wasn't so sure any more. He knew that instead of feeling sorry for himself he should act grateful for the life he now had – as it was one finally without any shame. He was back on the right track -- the path of righteousness -- and heading towards a life that he could be proud of -- a life dedicated to God. 

In his distracted wanderings, Blaine was unknowingly heading towards a building that represented everything he was trying to avoid. A place where unbalanced young men who lived a life of blasphemy and sin congregated together, ignoring the fact that their life choices would land them in Hell one day.

It took Blaine hearing a group of energetic young men cheering and wolf whistling to realize where he was but he didn't immediately bolt from the scene. All Blaine did was slip away to a safer distance where he would be separated enough from those who were there on purpose. Blaine watched the sights before him and sighed. How did they do it? How could all of these men so effortlessly give in to their sinful desires and act upon them just as easily. The answer that first came to mind wasn't the most polite and he refused to think it let alone say it out loud. Blaine may have been raised in a zealous Catholic home, but that didn't meant he had to share his parents' strong opinions. That according to them – or the Bible rather – homosexuality wasn't a choice but a disease that needed to be cured.

Why was he even here? What could Blaine possibly gain by watching from afar the life he had almost fallen into? Like he needed anything else to worry about. It was time for him to go back to his dorm and quick, before he could do something he might regret. Of course the likelihood of that happening was slim to none and besides, if even Blaine had the nerve to enter the club, he was hardly dressed for the occasion.

“You lost, honey?” A sultry voice called out from behind.

Blaine jumped to a start, whirling around in place at the sound of someone addressing him. As soon as he found the person in question, Blaine’s mouth fell open. It was a young man, a very sensually dressed young man at that. He was covered from head to toe in form fitting black leather that left nothing to the imagination. Blaine couldn’t stop gaping at him. Good gosh he was attractive; brown hair, blue eyes, all wrapped up in one gorgeous package. Blaine felt so hot and flustered; he’d never reaction this way to another man before – it was unnerving. 

“Cat got your tongue there sweetheart? You look like you're about to keel over from shock,” the young man said.

Blaine actually felt like he was more like a deer caught in headlights, though that wasn't any better. “I... uh... I'm sorry...”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I dunno.”

“I'll ask again; are you lost?”

Blaine shook his head and blurted, “What? No! No, I'm not lost...”

Apparently Blaine didn't sound very convincing, judging by the man's flirtatious smirk.

“You sure? Because if you're not, I can be your guide in there -- show you the ropes. You won't regret it, but don't let me sway you too much...” the man offered, his soft voice lulling Blaine into a calmer state. “Unless that's what you want.”

On instinct Blaine backed away from the approaching youth, though he wasn't quick enough to evade him entirely. Before Blaine knew it the boy was inside of his personal space and he looked even more devilishly handsome up close. Blaine gulped but said nothing.

A pair of deep blue eyes stared at Blaine, who stiffened and tensed in response. The scantily clad young man eyes softened and he smiled at Blaine playfully.

“It's okay to feel lost you know, it means you're alive,” he said.

Blaine blinked at him still unable to stay anything in reply.

“You can find acceptance almost anywhere, that is, if you have the sense to look.”

What Blaine needed to do was leave, or else he might succumb to the yearning this boy in leather was stirring in him. He'd already given into that desire once and the only reward he'd gotten then was to disappoint his parents and threaten his immortal soul. What was he even doing here? He would never be able to devote himself fully to God if he was out tempting himself with the sins of flesh.

“I'm sorry...” Blaine apologized again as he backed away from the guy and the temptation he posed. “I don't belong here.”

“You could though.”

“I have to go.” Blaine muttered as he turned on his heels.

The boy in leather sighed. “Have it your way then.” He'd obviously grown bored with Blaine and his resistance to fun.

Without another word, the boy in leather turned his back to Blaine, who still hadn't managed to leave yet, and sped walked towards the gay bar ahead. Blaine watched him go, his eyes never leaving his frame until he disappeared inside. But even when he was gone Blaine's mind was still full of concern. So Blaine hurried off down the street, hoping that the old saying 'out of sight, out of mind' would prove true.

***************************************

He watched the flustered young man hurry off down the road with a proud smile. Everything was going well and to exactly plan. Few people who wanted to catch a special someone's eye knew the importance of subtlety. In this instance, less was certainly more and he knew he'd left a lasting impression on the guy. Now all that he needed to do was wait for the right moment to reappear, and re-jog his memory when the trouble soul would need him the most.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter One 

It was no use, no matter how hard he tried, or what he did to distract himself, Blaine couldn't get him out of his head! The worst thing was, Blaine didn't even know the guy's name and yet he kept entering Blaine's mind constantly and often at the worst possible times. The last of which was during Sunday service when he should have been singing praise and worship to the Holy Spirit but instead, he was dreamily thinking about a tight ass covered in equally snug fitting black leather.

Over the last two weeks Blaine's thoughts towards the handsome young man had gone from a simple crush to infatuation and it was getting so bad that Blaine was tempted to go to confession but not even the confidentiality made it safe enough for him to dare.

That Friday night Blaine went straight from his last class to his dorm room. He'd already cancelled his plans to help out with youth group like he usually did. Blaine hoped that spending the night alone could finally put an end to his shameful thoughts. What should he do? He should talk about his fears but who could he trust? That answer was so obvious and yet it took Blaine a moment to realize, of course, who could he trust more than God? Yes, that was it. Prayer was the answer. When he was unsure, about anything, Blaine need only look to God to be shown the right path. That being said, Blaine got down on his knees, clasped his hands together and then leaned against the bed with his eyes shut.

“God, it's me… Blaine. I come to you, seeking your guidance and love. I feel… as if I am losing myself. I am trying my hardest to fully commit myself to you and continue my journey towards priesthood, but I find myself faltering again. This time my hesitance has manifested into an obsession over a man, who I don't even know. But I can't stop thinking about him and… these thoughts of mine… they aren't normal, they're lustful… sinful. I feel so ashamed. The last time I gave into weakness like this, I came to you for guidance and I was able to turn away from sin. So I pray to you again oh Heavenly Father, please show me the light and how to turn away from these sinful urges – before I lose myself in my desire….” Blaine whispered softly.

Blaine opened his eyes to look upwards at the ceiling of his dorm room and he let out a heavy sigh. “I feel so alone, and ashamed, and I cannot stop feeling this way. Dear God, please tell me what I can do to bring an end to it?”

“Well for starters, you should stop asking for help when you won't get any,” a voice remarked without any warning.

Blaine was caught totally off guard hearing someone actually reply to his prayers that he fell backwards off the bed in surprise. He could hear laughter as he pulled himself up to look over across the room to see who was there. What he saw was someone casually sitting on the empty bed that used to belong to his roommate (until he moved out last term) and as Blaine got over his initial shock, he realized it was the same guy he'd encountered outside of that gay bar!

“You! What are you doing here?” Blaine demanded.

Blaine's uninvited guest studied him for a moment and then shrugged at him indifferently. “It figures. You humans spend your lives praying and wishing for help and when the moment comes that you actually get it, all you can do is become dazed and confused.”

Blaine frowned; what did he mean when he said 'you humans'? And what was he even doing there? Blaine hardly doubted he was a student who went to the school, despite that he wasn't dressed in leather this time, because he still didn't look remotely religious.

“Don't try to tell me that you're my new dorm-mate,” Blaine said.

“I have no intention to… because it's quite obvious that I'm not. I am so much better than that, Blaine.”

Blaine's posture stiffened defensively. “How do you know my name?”

“You said it yourself when you were praying just now, as futile as that was.” 

Nothing was making sense to Blaine. “What?”

The young man sighed at Blaine's bewildered state and he shook his head at him disappointingly. “I am so sick of the fact that God doesn't care to even lift a fucking finger to help His devoted followers, so I decided to take matters in my own hands – one person at a time. And you, Blaine, are the lucky first person I have chosen to help. So, let us begin. It's just like I told you that time we first me; how it's okay to feel lost. What you shouldn't have to do is face it alone, because you aren't alone Blaine, at least not anymore, not when I'm here for you now.”

No matter how lonely Blaine may have felt – or lost – he wasn't about to welcome a total stranger into his life with open arms. Whoever he was and regardless of the fact that Blaine hadn't been able to stop thinking about him, he knew better than to trust that easily. So Blaine kept his distance as he stood up and he contemplated alerting security to his intruder.

“I'm not here to harm you Blaine; I'm here to save you,” the young man said, as if he could read Blaine's thoughts.

“From what?” Blaine asked before he could stop himself.

The young man smiled at Blaine and while he had nothing to go on, Blaine swore it appeared to be genuine.

“From yourself. From making a decision you really don't want. All because you're too afraid to embrace who you really are,” the young man answered.

The familiarity that went along with the young man's tone was enough to rub Blaine the wrong way, thus making it easier not to trust his apparent sincerity. “You don't know anything about me,” Blaine threw back.

Again the young man just smiled affectionately at Blaine; his eyes blue eyes twinkling even in the dimly lit room.

Chuckling, he said, “Man did your parents ever fuck you up.”

That comment sure made Blaine's tempter flare. “Who are you?” he hissed, refusing to stoop to his level and use profanity.

“Are you sure you want to know? The truth will shock you.”

“Try me,” Blaine said impatiently.

For a moment it looked as if the young man wasn't going to bother, but then he let out a heavy sigh and shrugged at him again.

“All right, but don't say that I didn't warn you. I have found in my dealings with humans that it's often better to show rather than tell. It's funny how you've been taught your whole life that things like Heaven, Hell, Angels and God exist but when you're shown any physical proof, your minds simply cannot fathom the possibility. Which is sure fire proof that faith is so horribly overrated these days.”

Right when Blaine's patience was running out, the young man stood up and what happened next was something even someone with the most vivid imagination could have thought up. The room erupted with light so intense that it not only momentarily blinded Blaine, but knocked him off the bed as well. From his spot on the ground, Blaine blinked as the room dimmed enough for his stunned vision to return. When he looked back at where the young man had been, he thought that his eyes were malfunctioning somehow. It took a second for Blaine's sense to register what was different about him -- aside from him now being surrounded by a heavenly glow.

It was impossible but there were two wings sprouting out of his back, one white and feathery, like you would find on a bird – while the remaining wing was black and membranous in structure, like a bat’s. Blaine blinked at the sight of him; this couldn't be real, he had to be dreaming – either that or he was hallucinating.

“What are you?” Blaine said. He was beyond awestruck but surprisingly not afraid.

The young man stretched his wings until they were fully spanned out and then he stared right at Blaine and said, “My name is Kurt, and as for what I am… well… I thought the wings would speak for themselves. Care to harbour a guess, Blaine?” Kurt said.

“Are you…” Blaine began but his mind was coming up blank.

“Cat got your tongue again? I can't blame you though, if I was standing in front of a angel-demon hybrid then I doubt even I could keep my usual snarky disposition going.”

Blaine frowned at Kurt in disbelief; what was happening to him? “A angel-hybrid what?”

Kurt laughed at Blaine's shocked reaction. He found Blaine's flustered state quite refreshing – in addition to being adorable and it sure beat the scream and run approach he was used to. “I'm half angel, half demon, if you can believe it. I know the idea of such sworn enemies coming together to procreate sounds impossible – looking past the notion of them both being real to begin with – and if I weren't one myself, then I'd probably agree with that belief. But here I stand before you with a mismatched pair of wings that stick out like a sore thumb. You think they'd be fun to have but really they're just an ever present reminded of how I am alone in this world, but hey, at least that means I'm unique.”

This was all way too much for Blaine's already troubled mind to take in and he just wanted to wake up at this point. “This can't be real,” he muttered in denial.

“Oh, trust me, it is,” Kurt said.

Blaine wasn't given much time to let anything sink in, not when Kurt unexpectedly lunged forward at Blaine, who threw his hands up in defence but the attack never came. When Blaine forced his eyes open long enough to realize that Kurt hadn't laid a finger on him, he become confused but relieved. Though Blaine wasn't safe by any means, not when Kurt was so close that their bodies were almost touching. Kurt's angel wing stretched out so the outer feathers gently brushed against the right side of his face. It tickled a little but Blaine was so terror stricken he shuddered in response. Blaine remained frozen still as Kurt closed in on him and pressed himself against the front of Blaine's body so their chests were touching. Blaine's heart was pounding in his chest and just when he thought it couldn't take anything else, Kurt closed his wings to wrap around them.

“How about now, Blaine? Is this real enough for you yet? Or do you need further convincing to believe what I'm telling you is the truth?” Kurt said, his sultry voice barely a whisper.

Blaine's body shivered, but he didn't feel the least bit cold. The crazy thing was, even when Kurt looked so formidably dangerous, Blaine wasn't actually afraid of him. In fact he felt kind of safe, being wrapped in Kurt's strong embrace like this. _'What in the world is wrong with me? Why aren't I calling out for help? I'm just standing here, doing nothing,'_ Blaine thought alarmingly.

“There is nothing wrong with you Blaine. You've only been taught to think that what you've felt before and are probably feeling right now, is wrong. But it’s not though, it’s a part of you Blaine, just like the rest of your body is…” Kurt stopped to give Blaine's buttock a playful pinch to prove his point, “…and that includes your glorious behind.”

That was it. Kurt touching his ass was the last straw. Appalled, Blaine pushed Kurt away from him, breaking free of his hold. “Don't you dare touch me!”

“Sorry, that was rude of me,” Kurt said with convincingly woeful eyes. “I know better than to touch when I'm not invited to first. So I promise it won't happen again, at least not without your full consent.”

Denial that came from years of Bible lessons taught to him by his parents made Blaine's irritation rise to almost volatile levels. Though Blaine would never lower himself to attempting to harm Kurt physically but holding his tongue was another matter. 

“Like I would even want that from you,” Blaine spat, disgusted by the very idea.

Kurt rolled his eyes and replied, “Nice try. You almost sound convincing but your eyes and body are telling me otherwise, Blaine. You don't need to feel ashamed, because contrary to what you've been taught, lust isn't sinful. Not when it's just innocent yearning, and you can hardly stop those thoughts from happening sometimes. Why is the fact that your lust is directed towards a man make it sinful anyway? What man could resist something so stimulating as a scantily clad boy dressed in full black leather? I know I sure couldn't, and full disclosure, I've never tried to.”

Blaine was struck with a horrible thought; that somehow Kurt was reading his mind. How else would be even know that he had been obsessing over him for the past two weeks? Or was he simply using Blaine's emotional vulnerability against him? It was hard to tell if either was the case, or if it was something completely different. His mind wanted to reject the possibility that Kurt wasn't human but with his wings still being out on display, there was little chance for that to happen.

As if he really could read Blaine's mind, or maybe he noticed Blaine's eye-line fall upon his wings, Kurt pulled them in until they disappeared into his body and vanished without a trace. Once he looked far more human, Kurt dropped his guard enough in attempt to put Blaine at ease. That seemed to be working -- if Blaine's little sigh of relief was any clue – so he took a seat on Blaine's bed to keep it up.

“Look, I know this is a lot for you to take in. No one ever expects their prayers to be answered so literally. But you did ask for guidance Blaine, and while I may not be some all seeing deity of creation or anything -- or human even -- I am someone who can relate with what you're going through,” Kurt explained.

Blaine snorted, “Oh I doubt that.”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine. “Oh please don't tell me that you seriously think that you're the only one who's felt lost and like they don't belong anywhere? You better not think you're the only guy who's struggled with their sexuality because newsflash: you're not. There are countless others in this world, in all walks of life, who are going through those same types of challenges.”

“Are you reading my mind or something?” Blaine said apprehensively.

“Would you like me to Blaine, is that it? I could but that's not the reason why I know what I know. I heard your prayers, remember, so that's how I know what you've been going through. Though it really wasn't really that hard for me to deduce, just so you know.”

Blaine postured stiffened up again on reflex; he didn't like the sound of where this could go. “Why is that?”

Kurt chuckled lightly until he noticed Blaine glare at him in annoyance. “Sorry, I swear I'm not trying to mock you. It's just you're making such a big deal about all this when it seriously doesn't mean to be. At least where your sexual orientation is concerned. So you like guys, so what? Why should that even matter to you?” Kurt sidestepped Blaine's question altogether.

“Because homosexuality a sin: 'If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination',” Blaine quoted. The answer came out of Blaine's mouth so quickly he wasn't able to stop the words he'd be told since he was a kid.

For some odd reason Kurt seemed amused instead of irritated by having a bible verse rudely thrown at him. “Ah yes, Leviticus 20:13. I am aware of the passage, even if I strongly disagree with the Bible on the whole. But let's say I did believe in it and its teachings, would that mean you should just go ahead and kill me like it is so justly written? You know, the whole; 'They shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.' That is what the rest of passage states right? So by that judgment, you should just go ahead and put me to death as it is so wisely written, yes? Why is it that Christians – though not all, since not everyone in the faith are so hatefully biased – spews that passage when they don't even know its true meaning? Forget the fact that the Bible wasn't even written by the hands of God, but by humans thousands of years ago which means there's a pretty good bet that it's been changed over the years,” Kurt lectured.

In all of his twenty-one years, Blaine had never preached that passage to anyone before at first he'd started to feel horribly guilty. That is, until Kurt started off on his own personal rant and while Blaine disliked to judge anyone, no matter what their beliefs, his patience was began to wear thin.

The trouble was, Kurt appeared to be far from done and once he had a moment to catch his breath he started off again.

“I'm not trying to put down religion either for the record, so that's not what this is about okay? I'm just trying to point out that this whole notion of 'God hates gays' is just so fucking stupid. From my encounters with them, I've learned that heavenly beings such as angels rarely concern themselves with human matters at all. They're too above that sort of thing,” he explained.

All it took was Kurt to look over and Blaine see that he was scowling for Kurt to let out a good chuckle as he threw himself down on the bed dramatically. “Oh will you listen to me, there I go preaching my beliefs to you like a self-pronounced televangelist. And I was doing so well for a while. I tell you, Blaine, when am I going to learn that forcing one’s beliefs on another never works out the way you want it to,” Kurt said with obvious smugness.

Blaine, who wasn't having any of Kurt or his sass, asked, “Are you done?”

Kurt's playful grin was back again and this time it was even harder for Blaine to resist. No, Blaine told himself, he couldn't to smile back – that would only encourage Kurt further.

“Well... that really all depends on you Blaine. Nothing's stopping you from telling me shut up you know.”

That sounded far too simple to Blaine; there had to be some sort of catch. “So if I ask you to be quiet or to leave then you will? Just like that?”

“If that's what you truly want,” Kurt said.

Blaine ran a hand down his face; he was having a hard enough time coming to terms with how he was currently talking to an angel-demon hybrid, so figuring out what he wanted would be tough – if not downright impossible. Never the less, Blaine tried his best to think it over for a moment, little good that ended up doing though. “I guess I no longer know what I want anymore,” he finally confessed.

“That's why I'm here Blaine, to help you. That is, if you'll let me.”

“How will you do that? Help me I mean?”

Obviously Blaine wasn't used to having people ask him things instead of just ordering him around, so Kurt needed to be careful, because if he crossed a line Blaine would push him away and make it very hard for Kurt to regain his trust.

“Once again, that all depends on you Blaine, you're the one who's calling the shots here. Though if I might offer my own thoughts, I think what you need the most right now, is a friend who you can share all of your secrets with – however personal they are.”

“How can I begin to trust you though? When I don't know a thing about you and… when you're… also… a… um…” Blaine said awkwardly when he couldn't finish his sentence.

“Not human?” Kurt finished for him.

“I was going to say stranger, but yes, that too.”

Kurt just shrugged, as if to show Blaine he didn't mind his honesty. “I can't help being what I am Blaine, or coming where I came from. Nor do I feel the need to be ashamed for being half angel and half demon, or gay for that matter,” Kurt said.

Blaine's eyes widened in shock and he shouted, “You mean you're actually gay?”

“Yes, but why is that so surprising to you? I mean, I've been flirting with you this entire time. Not to mention the fact that we both met in front of a gay bar,” Kurt pointed out. Had Blaine put the whole ‘should you kill me then’ taunt out of his mind already?

In all of the craziness, Blaine had forgotten how they'd met at a gay bar and as for the flirting part, he was too ignorant to such things to even realize that's what Kurt had been doing. “I just can't believe there would be… does that mean there are gay angels too? Or gay demons?”

Kurt laughed, “I have no idea. There might be but I think in their case… sexuality is much more fluid for both demons and angels, but this is just me guessing. I know that when it comes to demons, they are far are more open to things and as for angels… they're not as virtuous as people would assume. Unfortunately my encounters with both of them haven't been anything so pleasant as sex…”

“So you've never…”

“Had sex with an angel or a demon? Nope. I have gotten offers from demons, but I can't afford to leave myself so vulnerable to the likes of them. As for the angels, I got the feeling I'm too below their station to be much interest, for sex or otherwise.”

“What about humans then?” Blaine asked, frowning at himself. Why was he humouring Kurt like his?

Ignoring his pouting face, Kurt ignored nodded at Blaine with mischievous eyes and he even when so far to lick his lips sensually. “And how! I'll spare you the graphic details but I will tell you this; you humans sure know how to live,” he nearly purred.

Blaine let out a tired yawn. What a night this was turning into but he was surprised how well he was taking it. For some odd reason, Blaine got the feeling that his relaxing state was all thanks to Kurt and even from the start his presence in the room wasn't the least bit off putting. Kurt had surprised him and made him feel more than confused and dare he admit it, maybe even a bit sexually frustrated but as he looked at him sitting on his bed, he couldn't see him as some horrible monster who was there to taint his immortal soul.

“Why are you here? For real I mean? What could you possible gain from helping me?” Blaine sincerely asked.

Finally, Blaine was being honest with him and asking him proper questions. Good, the night wouldn't be total lost then Kurt thought with a grin.

“I can want to help someone without needing anything in return you know. But since you asked me so nicely, I'll be equally honest in my response. You may find it hard to believe but you and I are similar in a way. I also have spent many years feeling lost and confused. So I thought that maybe if we became friends we could possibly find what we're both looking for. Be that acceptance, understanding or just someone we can finally be honest with. In short: I'm offering to be your friend Blaine, and I promise you that there are no strings attached. That's all it is and nothing more,” Kurt explained.

When Kurt seemed to be done his little speech, all Blaine could do first was stare awkwardly down at his feet. Never in a million years could he have begun to dream that an individual such as Kurt, who had a set of wings for starters, would suddenly walk into his life – right when he was at a vital crossing point. Hadn't he been the one who'd asked god for guidance right before Kurt's unexpected arrival? For all he knew, Kurt could literally be the answer to his prayers.

As much as Blaine liked the idea of Kurt being the key to finding himself and who he was meant to be, he couldn't afford to be careless.

“Can I have some time to think this over?” Blaine asked.

Kurt smiled warmly at Blaine and instantly nodded at him without a word of protest and he went so far as to place a hand on Blaine's shoulder. “Take all the time you need Blaine, I won't be far. Like the Whitney Houston song goes, 'Call on me, I will be there' and until you ask me to stop, that's what I'll continue to do for you, Blaine. I promise to be there for you whenever you might need me, always, and no matter what the reason.”

The angelic sound of Kurt's voice was music to Blaine's ears and he closed his eyes so he could pay attention to it and it alone. Then to Blaine's displeasure, Kurt stopped talking and when it became obvious that he wasn't going to say anything else, Blaine opened his back eyes up to discover that Kurt was gone! 

“Kurt?” he called out in alarm.

 _'Still here, Blaine,'_ a familiar voice answered.

Blaine frowned; where was his voice even coming from?

 _'From inside you. I did say that I wasn't going very far,'_ Kurt replied.

“Excuse my ignorance, but what does 'from inside me' even mean?”

Blaine heard Kurt's mental chuckle inside his head.

 _'You seriously need to relax Blaine, because there is nothing sexual about this. I'm in your mind but I promise I won't intrude on you too much. Just think of this as a way for us to remain in contact, so I can hear you, if and when you try to call me. Your thoughts are still your own, as is your body, so there's honestly no cause for worry,'_ Kurt said assuredly. _'Now I think it's time for me to leave you for the night, so you can get some rest.'_

Despite the fact that Blaine wasn't sure what was going on, he was able to feel the difference when Kurt's consciousness withdrew from his mind. It was a weird sensation for him to begin to understand; having someone with you in such an close way only for them to suddenly be gone. It left Blaine being empty somehow, like during the minutes that Kurt had been with him they'd formed a symbiotic partnership of some kind. What had he let himself get into?

Kurt was right about one thing though, it was time for him to call it a night. Blaine hoped that by the time the morning came he would have a better idea of what to do about Kurt and his seemingly kind offer.

By the time Blaine was ready for bed and slipped under the covers so he could try to go to sleep, he realize that Kurt was right about something else: he really could use a friend that he could trust.


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in ages, Blaine ended up having the most restful sleep that he could remember. He awoke in the early morning, feeling groggy but not tired. Blaine yawned, sitting up in bed as scratched his head absentmindedly. He wondered to himself, still in his post waking state, why he had slept so well. Blaine got out of bed to check the time and he smiled, it was only 9 am so he hadn't over slept that much. It was the weekend anyway so he had no classes to go to, but Blaine still kept a busy schedule in attempts to keep himself safely grounded. Not this morning though, as he had cancelled his afternoon plans yesterday – for which he was quite glad.

Oh what a naive life he had lead so far. One he had started to question and then, without any warning, he'd gotten a sudden reality check in the form of a young man who claimed to be half angel half demon. Blaine had no reason to trust him, or to ever accept anything Kurt was so willing to offer him for that matter. Yet as he got out of bed and set to his usual morning routine, Blaine couldn't let himself think everything that had happened to him was just a dream. 

Instead he took a deep breath, hoped he wouldn't regret it and said out-loud, “Kurt?”

Immediately Blaine felt Kurt's presence enter his mind and it felt as strange as the first time, but still not in a bad way.

 _‘Mm?’_ Kurt sleepily replied.

“Could you come out of my…” Blaine started, pausing when he tried to think of less intimate sounding word to use than body, “… _mind_ for a moment please?” Blaine asked awkwardly.

Blaine heard Kurt's loud yawn and then his grumpy mutterings from being awakened and before he could say anything in reply, Kurt appeared in front of him looking as tired as his yawn had implied.

“You rang?” Kurt said, still grumbling.

Blaine had momentarily forgotten his reason for calling Kurt in the first place, but his memory quickly returned. “I wanted to take a shower,” he explained.

At hearing this, Kurt immediately snapped into awareness and he grinned at Blaine playfully. “How kind of you to wake me so I can watch the show.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I asked you to come out so I could shower alone, Kurt.” Just the idea of having Kurt in his head while he did _that_ sure wasn't something Blaine wanted to experience.

Kurt smirked at him. “Blaine, you do realize I've seen naked men before and that's not counting myself. I thought we covered this last night. How when you and I are linked together, there is nothing sexual about it; it's just a way for us to remain connected. Unless you called my name during the shower, I wouldn't even know you that you were taking one.”

“Oh,” Blaine said softly, running a hand through his hair with a sheepish grin on his face. “I think when my shower’s done we should sit down and talk so you can explain to me how this all works.”

“Sure,” Kurt easily granted, flopping down on the empty bed opposite of the room so he could rest a bit longer. “In the meantime I'm going to get the rest of my beauty sleep while you shower. Wake me when you're done.”

When Kurt heard the door close behind him, he opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. A smug little grin spread across his face; he was that pleased with himself and how things with Blaine were going. Thanks to his ability to adapt to any situation; Kurt had managed to change tactics the second he realized that the any attempts to play on Blaine's repressed sexual urges wouldn't work. Ironically as soon as Kurt switched to playfully platonic with just a hint of flirtation Blaine had started to open up to him – emotionally.

So Kurt had no concerns that instead of taking a shower, Blaine was calling the cops on him. While the fact that Blaine showed every sign of coming to trust him already, Kurt's work was far from over. If only Blaine would see the error of his ways and realize what he'd been taught about homosexuality was horribly wrong. Things would go so much faster, but if it were that easy Kurt doubted he would have been assigned to Blaine in the first place.

It was so obvious how unhappy Blaine was and yet those around him seemed unaware of the fact. Even when he had been raised among them, Kurt still couldn't understand humans most of the time. He had half a mind to go confront Blaine's parents, who were the real perpetrators. Thanks to their teachings (more like brainwashing) Blaine had spent the past twenty-one-years feeling lost and confused. Of course, Blaine’s parents weren't solely to blame, they themselves had been most likely raised the same way by their own families – forever in an unbreakable chain. It was mind numbing to think even about it, so Kurt just threw himself down on the bed to actually give going back to sleep a try.

Blaine returned twenty minutes later and he poked his head inside his dorm room to see that Kurt appeared to be snoozing on his bed. He quickly closed the door before anyone in the hallway could see an unfamiliar man inside; if anyone besides himself could see Kurt at all – yet another thing he needed ask him about.

Blaine put the finishing touches on his hair and once he deemed himself presentable enough, he turned to glance at Kurt behind him. He looked so peaceful -- lying on his side with his mouth open slightly, his right hand above his head, while the left was draped over his tummy -- that Blaine was tempted to let him sleep a bit longer. What made him reject that idea was when he realized he was admiring Kurt a little too much and he backed away from the bed.

 _'Calm down Blaine, you haven't done anything wrong.'_ He'd stopped _those thoughts_ before they could get away from him plenty of times, so it shouldn't be any different this time around. 

“Kurt, I'm done now,” he said in firm voice.

“Already?” Kurt croaked tiredly, looking very human in his just-woken-up-disheveled state.

Blaine could only nod as Kurt sat up to look at him and he tried his hardest to clear his mind of any remaining sinful thoughts. Blaine had the sinking suspicion that this was going to be a challenging thing for him to overcome. Eventually Blaine realized Kurt was staring at him and his warm smile made him grin in turn, albeit nervously.

“You look nice,” Kurt said, giving him a good look over. “Very dashing,” he added with just a hint of flirtation in his voice.

Blaine blushed in response; he felt like a bashful teenager all over again. “Um thanks, I guess… you look…” he began, stumbling on his words as Kurt's gaze somehow changed to look even more alluring. “… good. I mean, you look good too.”

“I swear I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, Blaine. I just like complimenting others when they look good. But if you'd rather I'd not, then I won't.”

“No it's fine. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough. Just remember to go easy on me okay.”

Now that he was fully awake, Kurt sat upright on the bed, crossing one leg over the other as he watched Blaine for a moment to make sure he wasn't having any second thoughts. There appeared to be none, at least to him, so Kurt figured as long as he didn't get too 'aggressive' with his flirtations, then there was no cause for worry. “I can answer any questions you might have if you like, unless I'm keeping you from something,” Kurt offered.

Blaine brought out his cellphone to check his itinerary over just in case he'd forgotten something. “I don't have anywhere to be until the evening, so we have time,” he said.

Kurt nodded, his playful expression turning slightly more serious. “First off; I see now that I should have explained myself better – or at all really – before entering your consciousness without your consent, especially since we'd just met. Honestly, I'm amazed you didn't freak out more.”

“I had no idea what you were doing exactly, so that's probably why,” Blaine said.

Kurt chuckled; he was glad that Blaine was still taking everything rather well -- all things considered. “True enough. I guess that means what I should do first is explain how it all works, though I'm not sure how to do that exactly – or where to begin even…”

“How about you start with why you can do it?”

“I have my demon bloodline to thank for that, since demons regularly 'posses' humans when it serves them. Except in their case it's usually to take control of their bodies… or worse…” Kurt began to ramble, until he realized such subject matter would hardly help Blaine come to trust him. “For the record I have no intention to do that to you.”

An unsettling thought entered Blaine's mind. “Could you though, if you tried?”

“I'm not sure, since I honestly haven't tried to before, on you or anyone else,” Kurt told Blaine truthfully.

Amazingly enough, Blaine actually believed him, even when he had no real reason to. There was something about him, something that tugged at Blaine; a connection perhaps? Such a thought might have made him concerned, but then, not all connections were romantic in origin. Right?

“Anyway, being half demon makes it possible for me to enter a person, like, with my spirit I mean. Basically I just enter their physical body and I kinda… share theirs… so to speak…” Kurt tried to explain, but all it took was one look at Blaine to see the confusion under his polite smile to know he was failing miserably.

Blaine eyed Kurt disconcertingly, he wasn't really sure what to do or say – and he'd felt like this since last night actually. “Are you okay?” Blaine asked finally when Kurt appeared to be struggling with his explanation a little too much.

Kurt sighed in annoyance. “What does it look like to you?”

“To me it looks like you have bad gas or something,” Blaine admitted playfully.

Blaine grinned widely as his attempts to break the tension caused Kurt to burst out laughing. He in turn joined in and the pair shared a moment of laughter before pulling themselves together.

Kurt wiped a tear from his eyes, beamed at Blaine and said, “Thanks, I needed that.”

“You're very welcome,” Blaine replied charmingly without even trying. He wished he could be more helpful but before yesterday he didn't even known that angels and demons had physical bodies. He racked his brain for a possible solution, since Kurt still appeared to have none himself – judging by his furrowed brow and constant muttering. Until Kurt's eyes suddenly lit up and Blaine's heart raced at the sight of him. In one instant Kurt had gone from handsome and brooding to dazzlingly beautiful and either he was imagining things or he swore that Kurt was almost glowing. 

“Thought of something?”

Kurt nodded his head in confirmation. “Possibly, if you're game for what I have in mind that is. It just dawned on me than instead of trying to tell you how it works, I could just show you,” he explained.

“All right,” Blaine said without any hesitance.

Just the fact that Blaine could trust him so easily caught Kurt off guard, but he didn't ask Blaine if he was sure, because Blaine's soft smile of assurance said it all. “There are three different levels for how… prominent I can be in your mind, Blaine,” Kurt began. “I thought I could give you an example of each and then explain what I can perceive at each of those said levels.”

This all sounded fine to Blaine, though on the inside he was a little nervous about the whole thing. Hopefully Kurt explaining things to him while it was happening would help him be more at ease. Once he understood the process better then he could decide if he would go along with it or not – or at least set up some boundaries. Blaine waited for Kurt to start but nothing happened and he realized Kurt was waiting for his okay. Blaine quickly nodded at him, minding to keep smiling as he watched Kurt get up off the bed and begin to slowly approach him.

Kurt carefully minded his pace as he inched closer to Blaine, stopping when their mouths were only inches apart, but Kurt just grinned at him playfully.

“Ready?” Kurt said, just to be extra sure.

Blaine gulped, “Yep.”

For one split second Blaine thought Kurt was going to kiss him and he held his breath when he moved his head forward but there was no kiss, Kurt just stepped right into him like a ghost would walk through a wall. Blaine staggered back in shock; he hadn't seen what Kurt had done the last time, so he had no idea what to expect.

 _'Sorry, there I go again not explaining myself. I'm more the act first -- think latter type of guy. I should really work on that,'_ Kurt's sassy voice chimed in his head.

Once again Kurt's ‘presence’ didn't feel intrusive, it actually felt rather natural for him to be there in Blaine's mind. Of course that only made Blaine more confused but maybe he shouldn't worry that much about it – all things considered.

 _'I think that's good advice,'_ Kurt agreed.

“I keep forgetting you can... read my thoughts... and that part's kinda... unnerving.”

 _'Ah well, I can only do that when I'm at this level, so let's call it level one okay? That's when my presence is fully integrated into yours. I'm basically linked to you: I see through your eyes, hear with your ears, I can read your mind and feel your emotions too. Not only that, but if you were to fall down on your ass I'll feel the same painful sting same as you would,'_ Kurt explained.

Blaine frowned; this was quite disconcerting news, because up until this point he'd only ever had to worry about hiding his feelings from others and not his personal thoughts.

_'Just so you know Blaine, I don't plan to use level one very much – or at all really – for obvious reasons, since I know the importance of privacy. I went there last night because I was just trying to tell the differences with the levels so I could move between them.'_

“How come I can't hear or feel anything from you? I mean, I can sense that you're there and I can hear your voice in my head when you speak to me, but that's it,” Blaine said.

_'Ah well, that's because I have very strong emotional walls built around me Blaine. It's nothing personal, but if I were to lower them... I'm worried that my thoughts and emotions might overwhelm you and get mixed up with your own. It's better this way, trust me, although I know it seems like it's an unfair exchange..._

Blaine swore he could pick up faint waves of regret coming from Kurt and feeling emotion that wasn't his own was strange to process. Actually, strange didn't begin to describe it. “So how is level two different then?”

A few minuets passed before Kurt finally said, “Here we are: level two. Take a moment to see how it feels.”

At first Blaine wasn't sure there was much of a difference, but with him being unable to sense much from Kurt to begin with, it was understandable. He supposed there had to be a way to test the limits of Kurt's reach when it came to his thoughts. Just, how should he go about it? Blaine was so clueless. He was used to hiding certain things but in many ways, Blaine still wore his heart on his sleeve most of the time.

 _'Anything so far?'_ Kurt asked.

“Not really, no, aside from your voice being a bit fainter.”

 _'I'll explain the differences on my side then, to clear things up for you. That is fundamentally it though Blaine: everything's fainter. I can't hear your thoughts anymore, but I can pick up on your emotions still – strong ones anyway. Like, I can tell you're a bit confused right now and that's about it. I can still see through your eyes and hear what you hear, but it's more like I'm just an observer over being a physical part of your body...'_ Kurt said. _'Am I making any sense?'_

“Actually yes, for the most part anyway. That just leaves level three to experience.”

 _'That's the one where I am not actually sharing your consciousness and I just leave our connection open just a tinge so I can still feel you, Blaine. I can't hear or feel anything from you, not unless you contact me directly. I was at level three when you woke up this morning, which is why I didn't wake until you called me,'_ Kurt explained.

“If you're not physically with me when we're at level three, then where are you?”

_'That depends. Sometimes I'm just elsewhere doing my own thing. While other times, I'm taking a break from my physical form, and just chilling.'_

“Excuse me, what?” Blaine muttered confusingly.

Kurt's mental laughter filled Blaine's ears and he wondered if they were still at level one and not two, would he be laughing too?

 _'That's just what I call it: chilling. You see Blaine, angels and demons' normal form is nothing like what humans have depicted throughout the ages; angels aren't beautiful humans with golden halos above their heads and large white bird wings, nor do demons have horns, cloven feet and long tails with a point at the end. Their true forms are a lot more... fuck I can't even describe it, because I've never seen either myself truthfully. They both only take on forms that look human when they need to. But even then, neither race can keep those physical forms for very long, a few days at best. From what I've been able to find out, the more energy they use, the quicker it burns up their physical shells,'_ Kurt explained.

“You're different though?” Blaine said.

 _'Very good, Blaine,'_ Kurt said with approval. _'I am. For some reason I can hold my physical form without any trouble. How much power I use doesn't factor in either, which is a nice break for once. I have no idea why that is though. I guess I'm just an oddity, but whatever, I'm here, they can go fuck themselves for all I care!'_

Blaine didn't need to read Kurt's thought to know that the ‘them’ he was referring to wasn't the human race. He also got the feeling that any dealings Kurt had with angels or demons hadn't gone very well.

 _'Sorry,'_ Kurt apologized, for yelling at Blaine when he had done nothing wrong.

“Don't worry about it. Thanks for explaining things to me. Now that I know how everything works basically, I would ask you not to go to level one without my permission and with level two, not without telling me first,” Blaine politely requested.

_'That sounds more than fair to me. I'll also let you know when I'll revert all the way to level three too. I think as time goes on, we'll get the hang of it pretty quick. That being said, I'm going to come out okay? Since the lesson in levels is over with now.'_

“Go right ahead,” Blaine granted.

The was no way to for Blaine to anticipate it but when the precise moment that Kurt's presence left him took place, the difference was quite noticeable. Just like the other two times, Blaine was left feeling empty inside, like a piece of himself was missing. Blaine was very glad that Kurt couldn't read his thoughts at the moment because they were beyond embarrassing. He watched Kurt reappear before him and the young man's grin sent shivers down Blaine's spine. Why did he have to be _that_ attractive? Kurt was the child of an angel though, and a demon – so Kurt's mingling of beauty and handsome fit in a way.

Kurt wondered if Blaine realized just how much he was giving away with his slight grins and twinkling eyes. It was so obvious that he found Kurt attractive and as for what Kurt thought of Blaine, he was equally smitten, not only with his looks but his personality as well. It had all started when Kurt had first connected himself to Blaine. Too bad Blaine had been so brainwashed with religion – and stuck too far into denial -- that he hadn't felt the same spark.

The potentially awkward silence was broken with a quiet grumbling noise and Blaine embarrassingly brought his hand to his stomach.

Kurt laughed, “Hungry there, Blaine?”

“It would seem so,” Blaine said, bringing out his phone to confirm it was past his usual breakfast time.

“I could go for some food actually, and we can't very well have you starve, because what kind of friend would I be then?” Kurt remarked.

“Your physical body needs food too?”

“Yes, although I can go without it a lot longer than humans can, but what's the fun in that? Nourishment -- at least the good stuff out there – is too delicious a thing to deny myself. That being said; how's the food at this school's cafeteria?” Kurt asked.

There was no mistaking the sudden cause for Blaine's smile to wipe from his face: panic – mixed with fear. Kurt did his best not to become offended when Blaine went so far as to stagger backwards. His nervous expression was priceless too.

“Or would you prefer to eat alone? Is that it?” Kurt asked coldly. His response was hardly mature but it was either that or ask him, 'Are you ashamed to be seem with me on campus?'.

Blaine wished sitting with Kurt at the school's cafeteria wouldn't be anything to worry over, but he could already picture the stares, the whispered questions – all wondering who this young man could be and what was his connection to Blaine? Also, if he did go through with it, would Kurt behave and not sound so overly familiar with his tone? For that matter, would Blaine be able to resist using an equally friendly voice when he didn't even try to most of the time? There were just too many unknown risks, too many chances for people to misunderstand and unfortunately – telling the truth wasn't an option, because who would believe them?

“Look, if you want me to go then just tell me, Blaine. I hate when people string me along,” Kurt said.

“No I don't want you to go Kurt! I just don't think that taking you to the cafeteria is such a great idea,” Blaine muttered.

“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were forbidden to socialize with openly gay men,” Kurt said, his words cutting like ice.

Blaine snapped, “I am not!”

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. “Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like there should be a verse in the Bible about consorting with sodomites.”

“Will you please stop it! I just don't want anyone being impolite to you, Kurt. Not everyone is so accepting and people will surely talk. If that's all they did I'd be more willing, but, I'm worried things might escalate...”

“It's just breakfast Blaine, so I doubt anyone will really take notice. I've lived among humans most of my life and not a single one has ever caught onto what I really am. I'm not just talking about being gay, because yes at times to I do project it but only because I refused to hide who I am. People can judge me all they like; they can damn me to Hell or whatever they want, because no matter what they do or say, they can't touch me. I can take care of myself, Blaine.”

Blaine thrust his hands into his pants pockets and walked away from Kurt, but he didn't go very far. “Can't we just go eat someplace else?” he almost pleaded.

“You mean somewhere where I'd be more accepted?”

“If you want to think that, go right ahead. Either way, eating here isn't in our best interest.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes. “You're right, for all we know I could burst into flames the moment I cross the threshold of the cafeteria,” he said mockingly.

Blaine let out a tired sigh. “Kurt...”

“Okay fine. Far be it from me to keep arguing. How about we get some food to go and head back to my apartment. That way I can get a change of clothes.”

“You have an apartment?” Blaine asked surprisingly.

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine; not this again. “Where else do you think I would live? In some dark cave? As if. My place isn't much but it's still should suffice as a place that we can eat together without having to hide the nature of our relationship...” Kurt said, pausing to note Blaine's little frown. “ I just mean how you've become friends with an angel-demon half-breed.”

There was just no helping it, staying angry with Kurt, even when their beliefs were so different, just wasn't possible. Blaine didn't feel like fighting with Kurt any way and it wasn't just due to how hungry he was either. “All right,” he said in defeat.

The decision made, Kurt headed towards the door but right when he was about to touch the nob Blaine grabbed for him.

“Wait!” Blaine shouted.

Kurt whipped his head around so he could give Blaine a judgmental glare. “Now what?”

“You can't just walk out of my dorm room with me like that. People are gonna notice,” Blaine pointed out.

Kurt could see how having people think Blaine hooked up with some guy last night wouldn't be anything he'd want. “Okay, then I'll just head out with you on the inside,” he offered.

“At level two of course?” Blaine asked playfully.

Kurt scoffed, “Of course.”

This time with Blaine's blessing, Kurt once again entered Blaine's body and he withdrew back enough until he could no longer pick up Blaine's thoughts. He kept quiet as Blaine gave his appearance one quick look over in the mirror before heading out of his dorm. Oh Lord. Blaine was walking like a man who was hiding something and Kurt made a mental sigh.

_'Um Blaine, maybe try acting a bit more natural?'_

It was less than twenty-four hours into their friendship and habits were already beginning to form. Blaine supposed this was a good thing, so he chose to embrace it. Loosing the tension in his shoulders, Blaine nonchalantly strolled down the hallways, smiling, addressing and nodding at people as they greeted him. Luckily no one tried to keep his attention for long so he was able to keep on the move.

_'My aren't we Mr. Popular at school.'_

“That tends to happen when you try to be genuinely nice to people.”

 _'That reminds me, when we're chatting like this, you might want to start thinking your words instead of saying them out-loud. It will make you seem less crazy in case someone notices the guy talking to himself,'_ Kurt advised.

Blaine frowned at Kurt. “But I thought you couldn't hear my thoughts at level two?” Did this mean that everything Kurt had told him was a lie? What if he could hear Kurt's thoughts at any level and this was just a way for him to get Blaine's guard down?

_'They're two different things, Blaine. Just give it a try and talk to me like you normally would but think it, don't say it. Trust me here.'_

Once Blaine was almost clear of the dorm building, he went off to the side to give himself enough privacy to focus. He looked around to make sure no one was watching him, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It all sounded simple enough and really, what was the harm in trying? The numerous possibilities came flying at him: what if Kurt wasn't who he said he was, what if Blaine was signing his life away without knowing it? Why else would someone like Kurt, who was an out gay nonhuman, want to even deal with someone like him.

 _'Are you trying yet? If so then it's not working so far. Try to project your thoughts towards me, Blaine,'_ Kurt said, interrupting Blaine's moment of doubt.

At hearing Kurt's voice, any worry Blaine had about him was swiftly tossed aside. Whatever the risks were and no matter the many possible unknowns, for some reason, Blaine couldn't walk away from Kurt. Not after they'd just started to get to know each other and above all, he wanted them to become friends.

 _'I'm here,'_ Blaine sent.

_'Good. I heard that loud and clear, Blaine.'_

_'It's like you said, I just needed to project my thoughts.'_

_'So any idea what you want?'_ Kurt asked, meaning breakfast.

_'No, but thankfully, I have you now to help me decide.'_

_'Why do I get the feeling you don't just mean with food?'_

Blaine's only reply to the playful accusation was for him to laugh, until he realized he was standing there chuckling to himself for no reason. Blaine shrugged it off and headed through the campus streets, whistling as he went – like Kurt's calming presence had put an extra kick in his step. Quite the contrast to the state Blaine was in only one day ago.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt came out of hiding the moment Blaine said they were a safe enough distance away from school and started walking beside him. Having Kurt this close to him and for it not to be a big deal was a nice surprise. He felt like he could really be himself around Kurt – whoever that was. It wasn't like Blaine didn't have any other friends though, just over the past few weeks he'd stop hanging out with them during his potential personal crisis. 

At present none of those past concerns were on Blaine's mind, because for a non-human, Kurt knew how to hold a conversation. Meanwhile Blaine, in his attempts to do the same, for the most part kept laughing at Kurt's clever antidotes.

“So have you lived in DC for a while? Since you have an apartment here?” Blaine asked, hoping he wasn't being too personal. 

Kurt nodded casually at him and said, “For about... oh... seven years now.” He then waited for Blaine to say something else but when he didn't immediately he smiled at him in encouragement – as if to say 'come on now, don't be shy.' 

Kurt's little signal ended up working and Blaine managed to find his voice again. “What drew you to here?”

“Hmm? I grew up here actually, in an orphanage mind you but that still makes DC my hometown. For a while I just wanted to get away from here, you know, in attempts to escape my trying life. But once I did, I soon learned that trouble still followed me wherever I went. So I figured, why not try to run from it and for a while I did managed to. Until the drifter life got old some years later and I decided settling down back here was as good as any place,” Kurt explained. 

Blaine knew that asking specific details about Kurt's past would be crossing a line, so he decided to tell Kurt a bit about himself instead – to make it even. “I was born in Ohio myself, and I can say with complete certainty that living here is a much better choice.” 

“I can imagine,” Kurt said. 

After an enjoyable fifteen minute walk, Kurt brought Blaine to an apartment building just on the edge of town and announced that they had reached their destination. From the outside the area looked pretty decent and as he followed Kurt inside and up to his front door, that opinion was strengthened. It was no posh penthouse suite, but it was no shabby studio loft either. 

Kurt had never had company over at his place before, because aside from hook-ups, humans weren't usually worth the effort. But there was a first time for everything he supposed, so Kurt brought out his keys, opened the door and ushered Blaine inside. 

“It's not much,” he said in warning. 

Blaine shook his head at Kurt in amusement. “I'm sure it's fine.”

At first glance the small apartment was rather bare, but there were little touches here and there that managed to give the space some character. The first thing that caught Blaine's eye was the quaint little kitchen that was on the right side of the room. On the other side was a cozy living area that held a two seat sofa couch, coffee table, television and lastly, a bookshelf that appeared to be full of various DVDs, books and a couple of ornaments. There were two doors in the room: a bathroom and bedroom respectively, to complete the apartment. Blaine smiled; it all looked simple yet functional. It actually reminded Blaine of his own dorm-room so maybe that was why it felt so inviting. 

“I like it,” Blaine said. 

Kurt snorted, “You're just saying that to be polite.” 

“I'm serious Kurt, it feels... homey.” 

Despite his obvious sincerity, Kurt eyed Blaine suspiciously and yet the man didn't crumble under his formidable stare. The showdown was over before it could even begin when Kurt just shook his head at Blaine, smirking away, and he headed towards his bedroom door. 

“If it's all right with you I'd like to take a shower before changing. You don't have to wait for me to eat or anything.” 

Blaine, who was busy looking around the apartment, turned to look at Kurt, and discovered that he was already inside of his bedroom stripping off his shirt. Blaine managed not to blush at the sight of his naked torso – because he wasn't some bashful teenager anymore – but it felt wrong to stare at him, so he averted his gaze ever so slightly. 

“It's okay. I don't mind waiting.” 

There wasn't a self-conscious bone in Kurt's body to stop himself from going over to Blaine while he was still topless. Once he made it to the doorframe Kurt eyed Blaine annoyingly with his arms crossed over his chest. “Blaine, your stomach's been rumbling non stop.”

“I'm not going to faint and as long as you don't take an extra long shower, I'll survive the wait. And the more you fight me on this the longer the wait until we can both eat is going to be...”

Kurt shrugged. “Suit yourself then. Either way, I won't take too long in the shower.”

“No rush. I'll spend the time setting up the table for us even,” Blaine offered. 

“I don't have much in the way of silverware or dishes but be my guest.” 

“I'll manage, now go shower,” Blaine said, shooing him off towards the door. 

The giggle Kurt produced made him wince but he took it in stride and gave Blaine a flirtatious wink before closing the door in his face. He glanced at his reflection in his bathroom mirror and he hardly recognized himself. He was smiling, beaming even. Kurt had to be more careful or Blaine could slip under his defences without either of them realizing it – and reach his well-guarded heart. 

“As if he could,” Kurt snorted at the very idea. 

Sure Blaine was cute, and could even be sexy if push came to shove, but he was also hopelessly in the closet and to make matters worse – planned to live a life of celibacy. Kurt shivered at the thought of a life void of sex. Luckily the hot water from the shower soon heated him back up. 

“They told me to save him... but... of course they didn't say how I should do that...”

Out in the living room/dinning area of Kurt's apartment, Blaine was doing his best to set up their breakfast. He used Kurt's microwave to re-heat their Thai food a bit and soon Blaine's work was done. He fought the urge to take just a bite of his portion and turned on the TV to give himself something else to do. He was in luck, Kurt had Bravo, and that was always his go-to television channel. 

Kurt kept his shower short and headed back into his bedroom to choose his outfit for the day. One of the few things he enjoyed about living like a human was fashion. He just wished the wearable clothes weren't so expensive. Kurt was off in his own little world and dressed only in a towel and before long he started singing to himself as he went through his closet. 

Through the closed door Blaine could hear the faint sound of music and he put the TV on mute so he could make it out. “Is that 'I'm Still Here' from Follies?” Blaine mumbled. It was! Kurt was a Broadway fan, who knew! That was something they had in common then, because Blaine also loved Broadway musicals, in fact, back in high school he'd always wanted to go to Theatre school after graduation. Obviously things had turned out differently for him, but his love of theatre had still remained in spite of that. 

“I'm nearly done, Blaine!” Kurt called to him through the door. 

“Still doing fine out here,” Blaine said. 

“You know...” Kurt began as he threw another rejected shirt on his bed. “... I gotta hand it to you Blaine, not every guy could handle some guy with wings appearing out of thin air in their dorm room as well as you did. I sure didn't think we'd be heading to my apartment together the following day either.” 

“Honestly, I'm as surprised as you are,” Blaine said. “At first it was just so hard to believe but there you were, so I had no choice but to accept it.” 

“Yes but you could have called security, not that they could take me, but you didn't know that at the time.” 

“Who knows, maybe my moment to freak out will happen once I've had time to let it all sink in.” 

Kurt, who was now dressed in black skinny jeans and a navy dress shirt that had a golden circle and line pattern on it, stepped out of his room and grinned at Blaine on the couch. “I'm starving,” he grumbled as he hurried over to sit next to Blaine. He grabbed a fork and shoveled a large portion of Thai food into his mouth. 

Since Kurt was already tucking into his plate, Blaine quickly joined him and the pair ate their meal in silence, but while still smiling at one another. 

For the first time ever, a human and an angel-demon hybrid were sitting down to breakfast – willingly. Kurt wondered what both sides of his parentage would think if they could see him now. Would they even care? Probably not. When did they ever take notice of anything happening among the mortals when they weren't directly involved somehow. If history was any proof to their disinterest with humans as a whole, he doubted it. Of course Kurt's opinion on the matter was rather biased, but if the shoe fit.

“I had considered living off campus myself at first, but I figured the fellowship aspect of the dorms would do me some good,” Blaine said. 

“And how has dorm life been for you?” Kurt asked, trying his best to sound interested – since he was – somewhat. 

“It's everything like I thought it would be, and everyone is nice to one another, we're like family,” Blaine said. 

There was something in the tone of Blaine's voice that betrayed his sincerity, that and how he was frowning. “But...” Kurt said musically, to give Blaine a chance to vent for once. 

Blaine glanced at Kurt shyly, he knew there was no reason to hold his true opinion back, but years of wanting people to like him was hard to overcome. So was the fear that saying the wrong thing could turn away everyone he knew and cared about in an instant – like it had with his own parents – until he'd convinced them he wasn't going to throw his life away (or his soul) anymore. “Sometimes... I find their friendliness suffocating at times. Like they're all trying way too hard to come off as nice.” 

“Oh trust me Blaine, being a devout Catholic doesn't mean they're all saints. Everyone, even your fellow students, have their weak moments when they let their real opinions out. You've just been lucky enough not to experience that side for yourself very much,” Kurt explained. 

“Have you?” Blaine dared to ask. 

Kurt shrugged indifferently. “Now and then, but it's usually just words, and those just roll off my back.”

Blaine sighed, “I envy you.” 

“So tell me Blaine, when did you decide to become a priest?” Kurt said, changing the subject. 

It was an innocent enough question and Blaine didn't think that Kurt meant anything by asking, so how could answer without having the discussion turn awkward? Perhaps Blaine could summarize enough that he wouldn't be lying exactly, he'd just be withholding some truths in the process.

“It wasn't just one thing that lead to it...” Blaine began, already failing with his attempts to slide past the key details. 

Kurt put down his fork to eye Blaine. “Blaine...” he said warily. “You did decide on your own to become a priest... right?” 

“Of course,” Blaine sputtered off nervously and that wasn't a lie, not exactly. 

Kurt eyes widened. “Holy shit! You're parents made you! Didn't they!” 

“No!” Blaine shouted. “It was my choice to, honest.” 

There was no reason for Kurt not to believe Blaine's claims, but his gut feeling told him otherwise. But in attempts to lessen the rising tension between them, Kurt went with the old failsafe: humour. “Did you're folks catch you with a guy or something?” Kurt asked, chuckling until he saw the colour drain from Blaine's cheeks.

Oh no. Bad idea. Fucking stupid idea. Kurt felt horrible – or he would have – if he weren't still too shocked to properly react. “Holy shit! That's what happened! They found you with a guy and made you turn your life over to God before you'd be sent burning straight Hell upon your death! I bet they even said that it was the only way to save you,” Kurt grumbled bitterly, as if it had happened to him. 

“You've got it all wrong Kurt, it wasn't like that...” 

“Have I?” Kurt challenged as he looked Blaine right in the eye. 

As if Kurt's gaze held some sort of power over him, Blaine squirmed until he could bear it no longer.

“Kurt, calm down and I'll tell you the real story,” Blaine said and once Kurt complied he went on, though he wished he didn't have to. “It's true that my parents did find me with a boy when I was seventeen... but I was going through a confused experimental stage and in a moment of weakness I gave into my unnatural urges. I knew what I was doing with him was wrong but I couldn't stop myself from letting it happen... over and over... until finally one day my parents came home early and caught us together. I felt so ashamed that I had let them both down and had turned to a life of sin. My parents were worried for me of course but once the initial shock wore off they didn't hesitate to help me find my way again. I looked inside myself and prayed to God for guidance and then finally, I had a moment. I finally knew what my path was: I would become a priest and dedicate my life to God,” Blaine explained. 

It was a credit to Kurt's stubborn nature that he didn't laugh in Blaine's face, but regardless that he didn't want to hurt Blaine's feelings, Kurt could only take so much. “I'm sorry Blaine, but that has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.”

The apology hardly softened the offending remark and Blaine stood up and walked away from Kurt. He wasn't about to storm out of the apartment but he didn't want to look him in the eye right now. 

Kurt couldn't bear to watch Blaine turn his back on him. He had screwed up horribly and he knew he had to make amends with his offended friend and quick. 

“Blaine...” Kurt said helplessly. 

“What?” said Blaine, who still had back turned. 

“I didn't mean to...” 

Blaine whirled around to look Kurt and the eye and it was clear he wasn't about to let Kurt off so easily. 

“To what? Mock what was a very difficult time in my life? Call me stupid and not even care how that might make me feel?” 

Kurt ran a hand down his face; why was he so bad at apologizing!

“I am truly sorry if I hurt you Blaine, I am. There's no excuse for saying something so cruel to you but just hearing you talk like that triggered me. It made things personal and in my own stupidity, it caused me to lash out of you. That was wrong of me... but you need to understand that I just... I don't want to hear you say that being attracted to another man is something you should be ashamed of. Or that you actually are trying to make yourself believe that only God can save you because of course any other option -- like learning to accept that you could be gay and that it doesn't have to be a big deal – is totally out of the question!” 

“All throughout my life I've heard back minded shit like this and I am so fucking sick of it. So I'm not even that angry at you Blaine, I'm mad at people like your parents, who have fuelled years of prejudice... and hate and it all makes me wanna scream out, 'Why?! 'Why the fuck should two men loving each other, having sex or doing the same things that heterosexual couples do even matter! Why is it so wrong?'” Kurt cried out in frustration. 

Blaine watched Kurt as he went through a wave of emotion during his speech: his voice broke in places, his eyes teared up even and his lip quivered under the strain. Since meeting Kurt, Blaine had never seen him so emotionally shaken before. He needed to say something while Kurt stopped to catch his breath, but what?

Kurt let out a tired breath; his outburst seemed to be finished or the brunt of it at least. “I'm sorry Blaine, but this is how I feel.” 

Blaine didn't want to argue with Kurt about how different their beliefs were, so as a compromise he said, “Do you think we can simply agree to disagree on this matter – at least for the time being?” 

Kurt sighed in defeat; he knew Kurt couldn't go against Blaine and those big puppy dog eyes of his. Just like he knew this wasn't the end of things, not by a long shot. The better acquainted they became with one another, the more their different beliefs would continue to clash. 

“We can try, but I can't promise you anything,” Kurt said. 

Blaine smiled weakly at Kurt; thankful that he was willing to meet him at the middle. “That's good enough for me Kurt, thank you.” 

“For what?” 

Blaine smile widened as he stepped towards Kurt so he could place his hand upon his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “For being my friend.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________

Never before had Kurt had a friend like Blaine, who was kind, inviting, funny and oh so sweet. He'd never had a friend at all really, but that fact didn't make his friendship with Blaine any less special. Before Kurt had met Blaine he'd always thought himself a loner but that belief was quickly proving untrue. 

Since Blaine was off at Sunday morning mass and Kurt really didn't want to join him there -- not that Blaine had offered -- he decided to physically walk back to his apartment just to pass time. It was too early in the afternoon to do anything really fun, so while it was hardly exciting Kurt decided he'd do a bunch of mundane chores while Blaine was busy doing his own thing. 

But those plans were quickly interrupted when Kurt opened the door to his apartment to see that he had unexpected company. Kurt didn't react to the intruder, instead he just nonchalantly closed the door behind him and hung his jacket up in his hallway closet. Once his shoes were off and his outer layers put away did Kurt finally look at the young woman who was quietly sitting on his couch. He noted her white lace dress, her pretty asymmetrical shaped face and her golden blonde hair and casually asked, “So, where are from? Up top or down below?”

The young woman's calm demeanour never faltered as Kurt coolly addressed her, or her indifferent smile the least bit friendly. “Can't you tell?” she countered. 

Kurt's jaw tightened ever-so-slightly and his eyes narrowed warily at her. “Appearances can be deceiving, especially with non-humans. I've learned never make any assumptions.” This was going to be unbearable, he just knew it. “So tell me...” Kurt said, opening up his fridge to get a bottle of water, “because I've always wondered, that shell of yours, it is modeled after a living human or did you just randomly conjure up your lovely appearance on your own?” 

The woman didn't answer; she just continued to watch Kurt prowl around the apartment as he tried to act like her presence didn't bother him. “You are as snarky as they say,” she said. 

“And the _they_ you are referring to is?” 

“If you're also as clever as they say, then you should know by now.”

Kurt groaned; anyone this deflective had to be an angel. “I should have known you wouldn't leave me alone,” he grumbled begrudgingly. 

“I've been sent to check up on you from time to time, to see how you're doing with your assignment, Kurt,” she explained. 

“Do you have a name or are you above such things?”

“You can call me Quinn.” 

“Pretty. Okay Quinn, I'll level with you here, if only to get you to leave that much quicker. I'm handling my assignment just fine, thank you very much,” Kurt snarked. 

Quinn stood up off of the couch and went to where Kurt was silently brooding; his dagger eyes doing nothing to keep her at bay. The way she was looking at him, with her superior smile, sent a message that she clearly thought Kurt was like an unruly child who needed guidance – either that, or to be reprimanded. 

“I'll be the judge of that, since that is why I am here. There's no denying that when it comes to earning Blaine's trust you have done very well, but as for saving him, you still have a long way to go and the archangels are wondering why that is.”

Kurt snorted, “I bet they are.” 

“You've been at this for a month now Kurt, so why are you stalling?” Quinn questioned. 

The angels weren't the only one who could be stubbornly evasive at times, and Kurt wasn't below using such tactics to avoid confrontations either. He knew that he was stalling but it wasn't for the reasons that Quinn and her fellow angels thought. Kurt's hesitance was all due to the fact that he was afraid to tell Blaine that he was his assignment and that he already knew the solution to Blaine's problem. In the month since they'd become friends, _that_ particular elephant in the room's size had only gotten bigger. What would it take for Blaine to realize that being gay wasn't wrong and he didn't need to become a priest to make up for his sins. 

“I need to understand where Blaine is coming from to know how to begin to save him. I don't know how _you_ like to operate but there's more to mortals than just showing up in a halo of light and preaching Bible verses to them. Blaine's problems are very complex and after spending a month getting to know him, I've learned that there is no easy fix. I want to do this right and I wasn't aware that there was a time limit for the assignment either.” 

“We didn't think we needed to give you one,” Quinn said. 

Kurt flopped down on the couch; determined to keep pretending that he had the upper hand. When it came to power, Kurt knew one lonesome angel was no match for him, but she could easily call for reinforcements. Besides, things hadn't escalated there just yet, it sounded like she was just here to remind him of his task, though she was doing a shitty job of it. 

“Is it my fault that you gave me such vague instructions for the assignment? Because telling me to 'save Blaine' sure left a lot to interpretation, so I've had to wing it.” 

“Is that why you and Blaine have become so close?” Quinn asked as she joined him on the couch. 

“We're close because Blaine needed a friend,” Kurt stated matter-of-factly. 

“I thought perhaps you were trying to lead him astray.” 

Kurt glanced at her out of the corner of his eye; what was she getting at? “And why would you think that, Quinn?”

“We know you've been in contact with demons, Kurt.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I should have known, but forgive me if I don't act all ashamed. Is it my fault if your greatest enemy has the same idea as you? I'm their kind as much as I am yours. So like you, they suddenly gained an interest in me when my powers awakened. You can't blame them for wanting to secure such a powerful being,” Kurt pointed out. 

“Before you call in the big guns, I haven't actually chosen a side yet,” Kurt added smugly. _'And with how things are going so far, I don't know if I ever will,'_ he thought. 

Quinn reached over to the side of the couch to snatch the maroon cardigan resting over the arm and Kurt's body stiffened because it belonged to Blaine. He'd left it there last evening when they'd spent all of Saturday together and there hadn't been a chance for Kurt to return it yet. 

Kurt ignored Quinn as she put the cardigan on and he turned on the TV on to drown her out in case she chose to verbally taunt him. “It's not nice to take other people’s things,” Kurt commented. 

“Then why do you have it to begin with?” Quinn said. 

“Blaine left it here yesterday.” 

“He's been spending a lot of time here lately.” 

“So what if he has, he's doing it by choice,” Kurt snapped. 

“He's using you as an escape from his usual life Kurt, his friends are starting to notice. They're whispering things...” 

Nothing Quinn was saying was news to him, because the same concerns had crossed Kurt's mind many times. So what if he was trying to escape his struggles. If his company had become a safe space for Blaine, then he wasn't about to feel guilty for that. Considering how much Blaine was giving him in return, it was the least he could do to help his friend.

“It's funny how none of the people around him have tried to reach out to Blaine in his time of need,” Kurt said mockingly. 

Unfortunately for Kurt, the angels had chosen well when they'd sent Quinn to keep an eye on him. She took one look at Kurt and actually smiled sweetly at him, as if his icy glances were meant to make her feel welcome – instead of the opposite. “How can they when he's never around?” Quinn asked. 

“You can try all you like but you won't make me feel guilty.”

“Not even when I mention how you obviously have romantic feelings for Blaine? Despite the fact that he's dedicated himself to God?” 

That was it. Kurt's patience finally ran dry and he tried to make a foolish escape to his bedroom. Slamming the door behind Quinn might feel good but his pleasure was short lived. Sure enough, when Kurt lay down in his bed he opened his eyes to find Quinn there close beside him. Kurt growled in annoyance and rolled over on his side to put his back to her. Kurt had been doing his best to deny the fact that he'd fallen for Blaine and Quinn stating it outright wasn't making the job any easier. The sensation of being watch remained, and it felt like Quinn's stare was burning holes into the back of his head. 

“Why are you still here?” Kurt grumbled when Quinn still hadn't made any attempts to leave. 

“I thought you might want some counseling,” Quinn said. 

Kurt's eyes snapped open; that was the last straw. Kurt clamped his hand on Quinn's right forearm and he used just enough power so she couldn't break free as he got up in her personal space. “Leave,” he ordered darkly.

Kurt loosened his grip on her just enough that she could go if she chose, but of course she didn't. Fed up, Kurt yanked her off of the bed, half dragged her to his front door and practically tossed her out into the hallway. “And please don't come again!” he barked. 

Quinn found herself on the other side of Kurt's door and yet she just smoothed the wrinkled fabric of her dress and fixed her hair (she’d already taken off Blaine’s cardigan in Kurt’s apartment). Once her appearance was perfect again, she stared at the closed door with her arms crossed over her chest. She had been warned that Kurt was a loose canon, but this was a bit much even for him. Quinn decided she'd leave him to his own devices for now, because she had been ordered to observe him and not intervene on her own. Things could still turn out for Kurt too, though that all depended on him and Blaine and if they could ever admit the things they were trying so hard to deny. 

Her job done for the day, Quinn turned away from the door and her figure faded into nothingness as she went. 

Kurt let out a breath of relief as soon as he felt her presence disappear. He was in such a pissed off mood he had half a mind to go and blow off some steam but it was a little too early in the day to do that. With nothing better to do, Kurt went ahead and did the chores that had been piling up but the boring tasks did nothing to bring down his aggravation.

Then, right when Kurt was this close to having his anger come to a full boil, his salvation came in the form of a familiar and friendly sounding voice. 

 

_'Kurt?'_

In one instant, Kurt's anger melted away and was replaced with warmth and affection. With no one there to point it out anymore, he didn't shy away from those feelings. It was too late for that anyway, and there was no denying it either; Blaine had captured Kurt's heart and he didn't want to ask for it back. He was already too far-gone. But no matter how strongly he felt for Blaine, it wasn't in the cards for them, so he had no intentions to tell Blaine about it. 

_'I'm here Blaine, same as always,'_ Kurt sent back playfully.


	4. Chapter 4

_'I am having the worst day ever!'_ Blaine's inner voice grumbled angrily. 

Kurt had never heard Blaine sound this annoyed before and that worried him, but then, for all he knew it could be nothing. _'Is this just you venting to yourself or is your angered state seeping through to reach me without trying?'_ he asked. 

Blaine stopped his mini tantrum to look at himself in the mirror and what he saw there made him blush. His eyebrows were arched up in an angry glare, his lips were tightly pursed and his face was all scrunched up and looking ridiculous. No wonder Kurt had made such a playful remark even after hearing his obvious annoyance. Already Blaine felt better. He let out a tired sigh, thankful that he had Kurt in his life. If it was anyone else, Blaine would have felt guilty for venting but Kurt insisted he let any of his frustrations out and he somehow always knew the right thing to say. 

“I didn't mean to but I'm glad you heard me.” 

Without another word, Kurt's familiar figure materialized with a flash of energy and Blaine smiled at him in greeting. They'd only been apart for a few hours while Blaine had gone to class for the day and yet it felt like months. Little by little and without Blaine's realization, his moments with Kurt had become the highlight of his day. It was what he looked forward to when he woke in the morning and what got him through his usual day. Even when they were physically apart, Kurt was still there with him, in the back of his mind: a constant comfort. 

“Are you ever a sight for sore eyes,” Blaine sighed. 

Blaine's accidentally flirtations were becoming more common and yet Kurt enjoyed them too much to point them out. What was the harm in a little playful banter? It wasn't like their interactions went any farther than that, as much as Kurt wished they would. But if Blaine was bent on playing ignorant to the rising chemistry between them, so be it then. 

“I don't need to read your thoughts right now to see how badly you are in need of a night of comforts Blaine. This calls for the full deal too, so you and I are going to stop at the local bakery -- because the key to happiness Blaine, is cake – and then we'll go to my place and spend the whole night marathoning classic films over cake and mugs of hot chocolate,” Kurt announced. 

Such a scene was a far cry from a typical night for Kurt. Before meeting Blaine he had thought sex was the be all, end all. Now he was learning that while it was pleasurable, sex wasn't everything, not that he was planning to go celibate – but then, he hadn't slept with anyone since befriending Blaine. Maybe that's why fighting the urges Blaine triggered in him was proving so difficult as time went on. 

“That sounds heavenly Kurt, and it's exactly what I need. Thanks for knowing me so well,” Blaine practically gushed. 

Tending to Kurt's sexual urges would have to wait until a more suitable time, because he wasn't about to forgo their movie plans for anything – even getting laid. “I try,” Kurt said cutely.

The pair headed off to pick out the appropriate dessert for their evening and after choosing a delicious looking dark chocolate forest cake, they continued on to Kurt's apartment. Such was a typical scene for them, as Kurt's place was somewhere they could go and just be themselves. Oh how Blaine long for those wonderfully spent evenings. 

Whenever Blaine told Kurt his problems, how ever miniscule they might feel, Kurt listened to him and helped Blaine through his struggles. Sometimes by doing something so small as giving him a kind smile or a light pat on the shoulder. That was another thing Blaine had grown to like: touching. Not in a sexual way, at least not intentionally – because the vibe went there sometimes before Blaine turned bashful and Kurt stopped it without a word. But just being able to touch someone casually: little hugs in greeting, a touch of the shoulder and even once, a quick peck on the cheek, felt nice. The kiss in question had happened last week when Blaine and Kurt parted ways and it felt so natural to him that at the time, Blaine hadn't thought about it. That came later, after his dumbstruck expression eventually subsided enough for the realization to hit him. Blaine needed to be very careful, not only for his own good but for Kurt's. Kurt didn't deserve to be lead on. 

Kurt had minding his own business, sneaking a little peek at Blaine's handsome profile when there was a loud knock at the door. He frowned; who in the hell could that be? Aside from Blaine there wasn't anyone who visited him. Unless…. 

Blaine popped the last piece of popcorn in his mouth as he watched Kurt get up and make his way over to the door, grumbling. He had no reason to freak out, since his being there wasn't crime, and yet he couldn't help but tense up. 

Kurt opened the door to find an extremely vivacious looking Latina woman grinning at him maliciously. He took one look at her and without so much as a word, shut the door in her face and turned back around to look at Blaine, who was gaping at him in surprise. 

“Who was it, Kurt?”

“ _Nobody._ ” 

“Oh don't be so mean Kurt, not to your favourite cousin,” a female voice announced. 

Blaine couldn't help but gasp when the unknown woman walked right through the door. He'd seen Kurt do the same thing countless times before but this was different. Judging by how Kurt's dagger eyes were out, he wasn't very happy for this 'cousin' of his to appear so out of the blue. When Blaine took in consideration what any of his relatives could be, Blaine suddenly realized her visit was way more significant – that is, if she was telling the truth about her identity. 

Whether she was an actual blood relative of Kurt's or not, she sure acted like she owned the place. The woman strolled inside, went so far as to kiss Kurt, who looked ready to throttle her afterwards, and got herself a drink out of the fridge. Tall, slender and busty; the woman was basically a physical representation of the temptations young men like him going into priesthood had to resist. Blaine had no trouble avoiding her womanly wiles, but he had no idea the real reason why that was. He just thought he had actual control for once, or he was in too nervous a state.

Then she turned her attentions to Blaine finally, eyeing him up and down with a devilish grin on her face. 

“Aren't you going to introduce me to your boyfriend over here,” she said. 

“This is Blaine, and he's just a friend,” Kurt corrected. 

Hearing Kurt add the word _just_ hurt a little, but Blaine made no reaction to make his feelings known. 

“Blaine, this young vixen calls herself Santana.” 

“Nice to meet you _just_ friend Blaine.” 

“So she's really your cousin... meaning she's a...” Blaine said, struggling to finish. 

“A demon? Yeah, that's me.” 

“Yes she's a demon all right and she claims to be my cousin on our mothers’ side. I have no idea if that's really true though--” 

“Our Kurt has trust issues, as you probably know, Blaine,” Santana interrupted. 

“Oh for the love of--” Kurt muttered, cutting his words off so he could look at Blaine. “Would you mind if I spoke to my cousin outside for a minute, Blaine?” Kurt asked through clenched teeth. 

“Um, sure,” Blaine said. 

By the time Blaine uttered his reply Kurt was already pushing Santana towards the door and shoved her out into the hallway. 

Kurt hissed, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“It's like I said; I'm visiting,” Santana explained. 

“You say that like it's a normal occurrence, when we both know it's anything but. I thought you of all people wouldn't stoop so low as to spy on me.” 

“How was I spying? If I'd wanted to do that then I wouldn't have walked through the door and introduced myself.” 

On any given day Kurt hated when people kept being right and when that person was Santana, it went beyond him just being annoyed – he was pissed. Despite their supposed shared bloodline, Kurt's interactions so far with the she-demon (as she liked to call herself) hadn't been very pleasant. Somehow Santana knew just how to push Kurt's buttons and she did it so skillfully that Kurt always ended up losing. The clever bitch. But this time Kurt wasn't even willing to play her usual games – not with Blaine on the other side of the door. The question was, how could he get her to leave without any drama? 

“Santana, can you please just go?” Kurt pleaded tiredly, optioning for the direct approach. 

Santana's dark brown eyes looked at him with pity for a moment before she shook her head at him. “Fine I'll leave. Not because I feel intimidated by you or anything, but because I don't wanna watch you two boys makes googley eyes at each other.” 

If it meant she was actually leaving then Kurt would hold his tongue. Blaine must be wondering what was taking so long by now too. “Thank you,” he said. 

“But before I go, let me give you some words of advice, Cuz,” Santana began. 

Kurt's eyes narrowed, but he didn't make any cutting remarks and just waited for her to say her piece. 

“You and Blaine are already acting like an old married couple, a sexless old married couple actually. If I were you, I'd shake that tight ass of yours at Blaine so he'll stop saving himself for God and get some fun out of life. You're just letting him walk all over you as he pushes you further into friend-zone territory. If Blaine was actually just your friend and not your angel assignment, then you could just dump his sorry ass and move on. But you've mixed business with pleasure Kurt, so now you've gotta pay for it. Just like you have to pay for making the even bigger mistake of falling for a human,” Santana said, giving Kurt a full on speech with no chance for him to get a word in edgewise. As she gave her advice to Kurt, she closed in on him, literally backing Kurt into a corner and soon there was nowhere for him to go. 

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Kurt didn't like anything Santana was preaching to him. More so because all of it was true – or very nearly so. The one thing he wouldn't begin to think was that meeting Blaine and becoming his friend in the process was a mistake. Was it foolish considering the complexity of their situation? Yes. Did the fact that Blaine kept on repressing his sexuality despite how good things could be between them if he had the courage to act instead? Fuck yes! But none of this made Kurt want to face the reality of things and he certainty didn't want any sort of help! Not from Heaven or Hell.

Too bad Santana wasn't done yet. “Sex is the only thing humans are good for Kurt, that and starting wars. So use all of your seductive powers and hit that thing, or else you'll get nothing out of this quote un quote 'amazing friendship of yours',” she finally finished. 

Kurt rolled his eyes; he was so done. “Touching words,” he said mockingly. 

“Though I guess if you actually follow through with your assignment, you will get something out of it.” 

“And that is?” 

“A place to belong, and isn't that what you've always wanted, Kurt?” Santana taunted. 

He did want that still but so much had changed since Blaine had come into the picture. Now, Kurt wasn't so sure that his place in the word was with the angels or the demons. None of them actually cared about him at all. They just wanted his power. There was only one person who made Kurt feel special and he was just a lowly human, one that Kurt had come to love: Blaine. He was the answer to his loneliness, but Blaine could never be his, because he'd promised himself to God – the deluded fool. 

Kurt turned his nose up at Santana and walked right through her without so much of a warning, coming out on the other side. He glanced back at her with an air of superiority so chilling, even she didn't bother to give any back handed remarks in attempts to knock him off his high horse. Not that she could have, which she probably knew. 

“Good talking to you, Cuz, but if you'll excuse me, I have a movie night to get back to,” Kurt announced as he made his way back towards the door and passed through it, leaving Santana behind. 

His act was broken the second he cleared the room and he threw himself against the door to see if she would actually go. Once again, his luck concerning non-human meddlers was with him and he sighed with relief when she disappeared from sight. 

Blaine was glad Kurt was finally back and without any signs of a fight, although his dramatic return did give some cause for alarm. “Is she gone?” 

Kurt nodded; glad to turn his attentions back at Blaine, his smile instantly renewed Kurt’s tired spirits. “For now,” Kurt answered, but he stopped himself from adding, 'But she'll be back.' 

Something told Blaine that Kurt was only putting on a brave face for him, and he wondered why? How often did his demon relatives drop by unexpectedly and were the only family relations to? What was going on in Kurt's life that he wasn't telling him? Blaine held those questions back so he could ask the only one that mattered. “Are you okay?”

Kurt smiled at Blaine, a little too affectionately but of course it flew right over Blaine's head. He joined Blaine on the couch and patted his knee, pulling away when enough time had passed. “Now I am,” he said. ________________________________________________________________________  

It started out like any other morning for Blaine, he woke to the sound of the alarm on his phone going off. But as soon as he opened his droopy eyes, he came face to face with something that was very out of the ordinary – or rather -- someone. Blaine's eyes widened and he blinked in surprise when he realized that Kurt was pressed up close to him with arms draped over his waist, hugging him. Blaine had never been so close to Kurt before and he froze like he was under some sort of trance. Kurt's sleeping face was just above his head, silently breathing in and out and he made cute little mumbling noises in his sleep. 

Blaine was trapped, he couldn't move without waking Kurt and he knew by now how his friend wasn't a morning person. Kurt shifted in his sleep and his hand drifted down to brush the front of Blaine's groin. Startled by the sudden contact, Blaine lurched back and yanked himself out of Kurt's hold on him, causing him to roll off of the couch and onto the floor. 

“What?” Kurt grumbled, his voice cracking. Kurt yawned and rubbed his eyes; where was he and what was that loud thud? The last thing he remembered was watching movies with Blaine and then, it all went fuzzy. Had Blaine gone home on his own? “Blaine?” Kurt called out, to see if he was still there. 

“Down here,” a feeble sounding voice answered. 

Kurt looked down at the floor and laughed at what he saw; there was Blaine looking quite undignified lying on the floor with his legs up in the air. “What happened to you?” he asked, still chuckling. 

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, which had narrowly missed hitting the coffee table and flashed Kurt a bashful smile. “I fell over.” 

“I can see that,” Kurt said as he reached his hand out and helped Blaine up. “I'm wondering what made you fall over?” 

Blaine thanked Kurt for helping him back up and he let out a tired sigh. While embarrassing, Blaine didn't want to make something up in lieu of the truth. “I woke up and saw you... and I wasn't expecting to,” he answered awkwardly. 

There was no way Kurt could start to feel annoyed by Blaine's explanation, not with his look of pure guilt on his face. Kurt sighed; he supposed he could cut Blaine some slack – just this once, in the spirit of friendship. “I guess waking up next to a guy would give you a pretty big surprise,” Kurt said. 

Blaine smiled in appreciation at Kurt; grateful that waking up to find themselves lying together on the couch hadn't turned out into a big dramatic scene. “Any idea how we ended up like that?” 

Kurt turned to look back at the scene of the crime and he shrugged. It was pretty clear to him what had happened but he was fine to tell Blaine his observations if it would make him feel better about it. 

“We obviously fell asleep watching movies together. The TV's still on and the DVD menu is on the screen. A some point we must have ended up cuddling together in the night and as the hours passed... we got comfy,” he explained. 

That all sounded innocent enough, but Blaine still felt slightly unnerved. Why exactly he wasn't sure at the moment. “That's what I thought too,” Blaine said. 

“There was no alcohol involved, so we know the only thing we did last-night was spoon,” Kurt said all of a sudden. 

“I know that!” Blaine snapped without thinking. 

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine; he was slightly irked at Blaine finding the idea of them sleeping together so offensive that he'd shout so loudly. “There's no need to get defensive with me, I was just kidding around,” he muttered angrily. 

The response had just come out of his mouth, giving Blaine no time to stop and think how Kurt would take his urgent tone. “I just meant I know you would never try to take advantage of me like that, if we had gotten drunk,” Blaine said. 

It was way too early in the morning for Kurt to be dealing with stuff like this, so he decided just to let it go. Blaine wasn't purposely trying to sound offensive after all; he was just being his usual naive self, which was almost just as worse. “Forget about it Blaine, it doesn't matter. Shouldn't you be heading off for class soon?” he asked, changing the subject. 

At the reminder of school, Blaine brought out his phone to check the time. “Oh crap! My first class starts in thirty minuets!” Kurt's apartment was only a fifteen minute walk away from campus, but that left him little to no time to go to his dorm room first to get dressed. 

“Luckily you brought your books along with you here, huh.”

“Yeah but I can't go to class looking like this!” Blaine said, gesturing to his wrinkled clothing. 

Kurt of course knew what Blaine was getting at. How going to class wearing the same clothes as last night would cause a possible stir. At any other college, such a thing wouldn't be very scandalous but when Blaine was a studying to be a priest, it would be considered downright blasphemous. Fortunately for Blaine, he had Kurt, who saw an easily solution to Blaine's awkward conundrum. 

“You can just borrow something of mine to wear.”

The tension in Blaine's body relaxed instantly and he actually went so far as to rush over to Kurt and hug him. “Thanks Kurt, you're a life saver!” 

Kurt chuckled at Blaine's extreme reaction, though deep down he was thrilled that Blaine was hugging him now. Until Blaine realized he'd overstepped a bit and he pulled back, blushing a little but he shook it off.

“It's nothing Blaine, here, you go freshen yourself up in my bathroom while I find you something suitable,” he said. 

With a nod, Blaine darted into Kurt's bedroom and went to his adjoined bathroom. He set to combing his hair and borrowed a bit of Kurt's hair products to style it well enough until he was sure he looked fine. Blaine was just helping himself to some of Kurt's facial lotion when his friend appeared at the door to present his findings. Blaine grinned at Kurt and took a step towards him to give his clothing choices a better look. In Kurt's right hand was a pale blue short sleeve dress shirt with a grey fitted vest over top of it, and in his left was a pair of black slacks that complimented the other two pieces very nicely. 

“I tried to pick something from the less flashy part of my wardrobe, so will these do okay?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine nodded his head again; taking offered clothes from Kurt and he put them down on the nearby bed. He pulled the sweater he was wearing over his head and took off his undershirt next when he suddenly remembered that Kurt was still there and silently watching him. Blaine flushed red at the idea of Kurt seeing him topless, that he couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye. It wasn't Kurt's fault of course, since Blaine hadn't asked him to leave, but doing so now when he was already half naked seemed too rude to him. 

Blaine needn’t have worried, because Kurt could tell what he was thinking just from his facial expressions alone. To put him at ease, Kurt smiled playfully at Blaine and walked away from the door without a word. “I'll get your things together while you finish getting ready,” he said. 

“Thanks,” Blaine said appreciatively, and he really meant it. 

Thanks to Kurt, Blaine ended up making it to his first class with five minutes to spare. As he sat in his chair he couldn't shake the feeling like he was exposing himself somehow. Like the fact that he was wearing Kurt's clothes marked him as something. 

_'Not something, as a homosexual,'_ Blaine admitted reluctantly to himself. That was ridiculous of course, just like the idea that people would even know he was wearing Kurt's clothes and so what if they did? Kurt was a friend and lending clothes when you were in a pinch was something friends did. Right? Everything was innocent, platonic, they were just bros helping bros. 

“You look nice today Blaine, is that a new outfit?”

 

Blaine looked up to see Cathy, who went to his church, smiling at him friendlily. He was in history class that morning, so there were mixed genders. He nodded at her, happy that he didn't become all flustered at her question. The compliment given, Cathy headed over to her usual group of friends and Blaine was left alone to his thoughts. _'You see, there's nothing to worry about,'_ he thought to convince himself. “Nothing what so ever….” ________________________________________________________________________  

Okay maybe there was something to worry about, Blaine admitted, but at least in this case Kurt wasn't the reason. Final exams were less than a week away and Blaine was horribly behind. At this rate, he could end up failing and that was a real eye opener. How could he have let this happen? Blaine wasn't a straight A student but he always did pretty well when it came to grades. It didn't take much for him to come up with a plausible answer for his grade drop: Kurt. Well not actually Kurt, since he wasn't directly to blame, but Blaine had stopped his usual study routines ever since he'd started hanging out with him regularly. Come to think of it, Blaine hadn't really done anything that was normal for him since then. 

Blaine stepped out of his final class of the day feeling weighed down with heavy dread. The mock exam he'd just taken couldn't have gone any worse. His mind had blanked from question one and it hadn't gotten any better by the end. Blaine let out a long tired sigh. He was tucked away on a couch located in a quite little corner on campus. What once used to be his favourite place to study now had become the venue for Blaine's pity party of one. 

He wanted to call Kurt. He would know exactly what to say to motivate him. Only he couldn't do that, not when depending too much on Kurt was how this whole mess had started. What Blaine had to do was hit the books tonight, hard. No more movie nights, no more dinners at Kurt's apartment spent chatting together. He even couldn't let himself ask Kurt to come help him study because he'd quickly become too much of a distraction. Blaine opened his history textbook and brought out his binder to take study notes with the intention to work at it all night long. No more fun in games, if Blaine planned on passing all of his exams then he needed to rearrange his priorities. 

An hour later and Blaine was proud at how much he'd gotten done, but he still had a long way to go. He sat up from the couch and stretched his stiff arms. It was close to dinnertime, and when he usually met up with Kurt. That couldn't happen though, not if he had any hopes of graduating in less than a month. 

_'Kurt,'_ Blaine called in his mind. 

_'Hey there,'_ Kurt said. 

Blaine frowned; there was no hint of playfulness in Kurt's voice, which wasn't like him at all. Had something happened? Was Kurt growing tired of him? Suddenly admitting to Kurt that he needed to buckle down and study tonight wasn't so easy to do. 

_'You okay?'_

_'Um, honestly no. I bombed my mock final today, so I'm afraid I can't see you tonight. I need to study,'_ Blaine explained. 

_'Oh,'_ said Kurt, who for some reason sounded almost disappointed. _'Is that all? We don't have to see each other every night Blaine, we both have lives of are own.'_

Blaine resisted the urge to say 'We do?' in reply teasingly. _'Thanks, Kurt.'_

 _'You don't need to thank me Blaine. Good luck studying,'_ Kurt said and then he was gone. 

Left to his night of hitting the books, Blaine got up off the couch so he could go and grab something to eat. Afterwards he sat alone in the cafeteria hidden behind a wall of books. No one bothered to approach him, probably because they were all doing the same thing.  
_______________________________________________________________________  

As for Kurt, well he was currently among a sea of male bodies and yet he appeared to be just as alone as Blaine. Kurt danced to the beat, moving his body provocatively and causing the men around him to go wild. But Kurt didn't see their lustful glances, or even hear their catcalls and other various attempts to catch his attention. Even when he was in his element, rocking out to techno music at the hottest gay bar in the city, Kurt's mind was elsewhere. When the song ended Kurt was in no mood to continue dancing the night away, so he headed off to the bar. He ordered a strong drink in hopes that it would put his mind off things, all of which were about Blaine. 

“What's his name?” someone asked. 

Kurt looked up to see that one of the bartenders was smiling at him sympathetically. Kurt grinned weakly in response and took the drink he hadn't even noticed was ready. “Huh?” 

“What's the name of the guy who has you looking so depressed?” asked the bartender, who was pretty easy on the eyes.

Kurt managed a smile and took a long swig of his drink before he answered, “Oh, he didn't do anything... not intentionally anyway.”

“I've been there,” the bar tender said with a sigh. 

_'I doubt it,'_ Kurt thought, but he wasn't about to say that. 

“He cute?” 

Kurt sighed, “The cutest.” 

“Ouch. So what's his deal? Is he taken, or is he in the closet still?” 

“Both. Well kinda... it's complicated,” Kurt said. He wasn't about to say Blaine's name, let alone tell a stranger how he was committed just not to any guy, but to God. 

“Ah, well, far be it from me to pry, but you just looked like a guy who needs someone to talk to,” the bartender explained. 

“It's appreciated, but you can go back to work. I'll be okay,” Kurt urged. The bartender didn't argue with Kurt, since he did have customers to serve, and Kurt was on his own once again. That suited him just fine really, because no one there could help him with his troubles. Hell, Kurt didn't want to even acknowledge he had any problems about Blaine to begin with.

“Hey there, wanna dance?” another far more forward sounding voice asked from behind Kurt. 

Kurt turned around on his barstool to eye the extremely attractive young man who was also sizing him up. He knew the type of course; heck he often was that type himself. While Kurt wasn't really in the mood for sex, there was no harm in letting loose out on the dance floor. Kurt needed a good distraction and if this piece of eye candy was offering himself, who was Kurt to say no? 

“Why not,” Kurt flirted back. 

He actually managed a cheery laugh as the guy, who introduced himself as Marcus, lead Kurt by the hand out into the middle of the dance floor. Kurt danced up against him, his heart racing, as Marcus got up nice and close. All the while, Kurt wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings, or the many signals Marcus was giving him how he was ready to go. Even when Kurt's urges overpowered him so much that he actually found himself pushed up against the wall of a bathroom stall as Marcus blew him, he still was lost in his personal thoughts. 

Marcus, who was oblivious to Kurt's tripping out, gave it his all and soon his perseverance paid off as Kurt's body tensed up. 

“Blaine! Shit!” Kurt swore as he reached orgasm. 

Luckily for Kurt, Marcus didn't appear to care that Kurt had shouted another guys name even when he was the one giving him oral sex. “That your boyfriend or something?” he asked, albeit teasingly. 

Kurt rolled his eyes and muttered, “No.” 

“I don't care if he is, as long as you return the favour,” Marcus flirted. 

Since Marcus wasn't doing anything wrong, in fact he was acting pretty cool about Kurt's less than enthusiastic state, Kurt didn't want to leave him hanging. So he got down on his knees and unzipped the fly to Marcus's pants. Kurt did his best to keep Blaine from his thoughts as Marcus's cock went down his throat. The trouble was, Kurt soon discovered there was no fighting it, so he stopped trying altogether. Soon Kurt imagined that it was Blaine who he was blowing and the subsequent moans of pleasure were his as well. The illusion ended up working so well that Kurt's deep-throating skills made Marcus's sharp cries pierced through the whole bathroom and their neighbours actually cheered them on.

“Wow! That was seriously the best blowjob I've ever had,” Marcus said in amazement, still giddy from the rush. 

Kurt stood back up and flashed a smug smile at Marcus, but there were no playful remarks. He just shrugged as he did his own pants back up. He made a break for the door but Marcus's arm stopped him, though his grip was light. 

“Don't tell me you're gonna go now? We were just getting started! We can go to my place or yours next, if you'd like classier scene to fuck at,” Marcus said. 

The old Kurt, the one who hadn't fallen in love with Blaine, would have grabbed Marcus by the shoulders and kissed him hard on the mouth. Too bad that guy was nowhere to be found. “Sorry, I'm not in the mood I'm afraid,” he broke it to Marcus.

“I hope this Blaine of yours knows how lucky he is,” Marcus said, letting him go. 

Kurt snorted as he walked out of the stall. If Blaine actually were his boyfriend in this scenario, then Kurt wouldn't have cheated on him in a bathroom to begin with. But he wasn't about to correct Marcus about that fact. All Kurt wanted to get out of there before his physical urges overpowered any common sense he still had left. As fun as hot sex with some random guy could be, Kurt just really wasn't in the mood for it and he wondered if ever would be again.


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine never wanted to see another text book in his life, but if he had any hope to pass all of his many finals, he had no choice but to. After spending two whole days studying non-stop, Blaine felt somewhat better off. So he wouldn't graduate with high honours, he didn't need to be in the spotlight, he just wanted to pass at this point. That deserved a much-needed break in his opinion. Considering the torture he'd put himself through, he didn't feel the least bit guilty about inviting Kurt over. 

Kurt appeared to be in good spirits too, though it was hard to tell at times. For all his embracing Blaine as a friend, Kurt still kept himself – and his inner thoughts – carefully guarded. As long as his reasons for doing this weren't because of Blaine, or something he had done – then that was completely fine. 

They were in Blaine's dorm room just sitting together on his bed, busy enjoying each other’s company. Close beside one another but not enough so any of their body parts were touching, however innocent the contact would be. Kurt was rambling on and on about what they could do tonight and Blaine in turn just nodded at him with his usual warm smile. 

“We don't even have to go out tonight if you're not up to it, Blaine,” Kurt continued. 

Why did Blaine get the feeling that his lack of energy wasn't the sole reason for Kurt suggesting they stay in that night? It was true that they rarely went out together, usually Blaine joined Kurt at his apartment since that was easier for them both. Out in the open and among other people, Kurt and Blaine's many different values often got in the way. Not intentionally, but the awkward atmosphere, mixed with the fear of people misunderstanding the nature of their relationship, was never far away. 

“That might be for the best, sorry. I feel like I'm turning you into a shut-in, Kurt,” Blaine said. 

Kurt rolled his eye at Blaine in a -you're being silly- sort of way. “I like spending time with you alone though,” he countered. Like clockwork, Blaine's cheeks became flushed and he equally flustered by the little comment. What had started out as cute, now made Kurt irksome, because Blaine was still clueless to the effect he had on Kurt. Sure Kurt hadn't tried to give Blaine signals that he was romantically interested in him, because that was stupid, but, he couldn't be this dense. Unfortunately, there wasn't an off switch, or else Kurt would have pressed it weeks ago. 

“We could talk for a bit perhaps? I've missed doing that,” Blaine offered. 

Kurt smiled at Blaine while on the inside conflicted guilt risked to bubble to the surface. He needed to tell Blaine the reason why he had first come to him and how that had all changed. Right from the moment they had first talked in Blaine's dorm room, Kurt knew he wouldn't be just an assignment to him. Then there was the whole 'I already know the solution to your moral problems but you won't believe them' – mess as well. The fact that their views on homosexuality were wildly different always left a wall between them. If Blaine weren't so likeable, Kurt would have resented Blaine for it, instead he was only mildly annoyed by it all. 

Blaine wasn't as clueless as Kurt thought; he was just too deep in denial to do anything about it. He could tell Kurt was uncomfortable about something and he hoped this would be a chance for them to admit some things to one another. Blaine shifted a little closer to Kurt on the bed so their shoulders touched. 

“So what shall we talk about?” Kurt asked, since he had nothing to suggest. 

Lots of things came to mind, all of which seemed either too personal or too dangerous to bring up considering their conflicting views on a number of subjects. That was why they usually avoided such discussions. As a result they were running out of safe topics to cover. Blaine knew all about Kurt's tastes in movies, fashion, music and even food. When it came to his personal life and his past, Blaine had been told next to nothing. Kurt clearly didn't want to share anything along those lines.

“Um, there is one thing I've been wondering... I'm just... still not sure if it's appropriate to ask you...” Blaine said nervously. 

Acting nonchalant when Blaine could very well be struggling to confess something to him was very hard to manage and Kurt's eyes fluttered in anticipation as he watched Blaine get even cuter as his flustered state grew. “You can tell me anything Blaine, you know that,” he coaxed in fear of scaring him off by acting too eager. 

“How old are you?” 

Kurt's face fell ever so slightly; it served him right for getting his hopes up; and Blaine's question might not be remotely romantic but he still could have some fun answering it. “I'm older than I look but younger than you're probably imagining, Blaine,” he said playfully. 

“So how many years are we talking here then? Because I'm imagining you have a few decades on me at least,” Blaine teased back. 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I'll give you a clue to my age; I was apparently named after Kurt Cobain.” 

Blaine frowned in confusion; he was way off then, because to his knowledge Kurt hadn't formed Nirvana until 1985. “I thought you said you grew up in an orphanage,” Blaine pointed out. 

“Oh I did but when I was eight this woman showed up one day saying that she was my mother. In my foolish ignorance I thought my dreams of my parents coming to take me home were finally coming true... right up until my so called mother explained that she was in no state to look after me and just wanted to see me. After that she'd show up from time to time and during one of those rare visits, she explained how she was a big fan of Nirvana and that's were my first name came from,” Kurt said. 

“Was she you're real mother?” 

Kurt nodded. “In her attempts to pass me off as human she took on the guise of a troubled young woman who'd had a child when she was only fourteen. There was no reason not to believe her and her act was so flawless that the staff at the orphanage quickly felt sorry for her. She was granted visitation rights but as I got older I soon became fed up with her flighty personality so I refused to see her anymore. I didn't see her again until my true heritage was revealed to me and she was the one who told me it actually...” Kurt had never told anyone about his past and yet it didn't make the memories any less bitter. “I'd elaborate a bit more but my life story isn't the happiest of tales... nor is it something I'm especially proud of,” Kurt said. 

Just off the top of his head Blaine could think of a lot of things Kurt should be proud of, the biggest one being how Kurt had accepted who he was without a struggle. He was such a confidant young man who had a fearlessness about him that Blaine envied a lot. “We've all done things we're not proud of Kurt, myself included,” Blaine whispered softly. 

“You shouldn't dwell on your faults so much Blaine, because I hate seeing you look so ashamed.” 

Blaine sighed, “I can't help it sometimes. Ever since I was little I've always wanted people to like me. I still feel that way even now... and when I start to think how different my life so far might have gone if I'd just had more courage...” 

“I happen to think you're very brave Blaine. When I revealed myself to you, you didn't try to run. You were surprised of course and who wouldn't be, but you held your ground, listened to me and accepted who I was. That's something to be proud of I think, wouldn't you agree?” Kurt asked, nudging his shoulder gently. 

The emotion welling up in Blaine was too much for him to take; nobody had ever said anything like that to him before. He always felt like such an outsider, even long before his struggles with his sexuality had begun. Kurt understood him so well, he didn't judge Blaine for his discrepancies – past or present – he just let Blaine be himself and asked for nothing in return. He loved spending time with him, loved how Kurt always knew what to say to him, loved... Blaine's thoughts came to a standstill when he realized the one word that kept on popping up. Loved. But for the first time in years, Blaine didn't run from those emotions, instead he chose to meet them head on. 

He looked to Kurt, who was still smiling at him, he was so close that Blaine couldn't take it anymore. On impulse, Blaine closed in on Kurt, threw caution to the wind and kissed him full on the mouth. 

Kurt couldn't believe what was even happening; he had to be dreaming. How else could he explain how Blaine had actually made a move on him! He couldn't stop the kiss from happening and had just closed his eyes in anticipation and to his amazement, Blaine hadn't pulled away at the last minute, he actually followed through with it and kissed him. Blaine's touch was soft and unsure at first but as Kurt responded to the kiss, he got a little bolder. Blaine's hand clasped the side of Kurt's face and Kurt in turn held onto Blaine shoulders to steady them both. Nothing, not even the most passionate making out Kurt had experienced over the years could compare to the wonder that was kissing Blaine. He never wanted this feeling to stop. _'Blaine,'_ he thought joyfully, nearly singing his name. 

Blaine kept on kissing Kurt, because if he were to stop for even a second then he might realize what a grave error he'd just made. So he didn't stop himself, he didn't think about the possible repercussions for acting in the heat of the moment. He just kissed Kurt, wonderful and passionate Kurt, who responded to each following kiss and was practically begging him for more. 

Both boys were too occupied with each other to hear Blaine's phone quietly buzzing in his back pocket. Blaine, who ignored the vibrations coming from it, leaned forward, causing Kurt in turn to lie down on the bed so Blaine could hover over him as they continued to kiss. “Kurt...” 

Kurt's heart was a flutter and there were butterflies in his stomach. He felt like he had been sent back in time to when he was a young teenage boy, only this time he was getting the first kiss (or kisses really) he had always dreamed of, back when he was still a romantic at heart. Blaine certainty was the boy of his young teenage dreams as well. “I've wanted this for so long,” Kurt confessed between their urgent kisses. 

“I know,” Blaine said in a half growl. 

Kurt's eyes widened and he stammered, “You did?”

Blaine grinned at Kurt; there was no room for any shame for once, not when Kurt was underneath him and looking too handsome for words. Blaine's voice of reason was still switched off so he could forget all of the emotional baggage that usually held his urges for Kurt at bay. “Yeah, I just never let myself give into...” he said, trailing off so he could kiss Kurt again. 

In any other situation Kurt would have found the fact that Blaine was failing to admit his feelings very irritating but for the moment he was content to kiss Blaine over and over. The rest could all wait, until later – much much later. “Blaine,” Kurt breathed, stroking his back. 

The minutes passed slowly by as the boys clung together, desperately making out with a rising passion that it felt like nothing could bring them to stop. Kurt didn't want it to end anyway, or else he feared that Blaine might come to regret it all. If this were the way for Blaine to finally come to his senses then Kurt would do whatever it would take to reach that point. 

But the moment never came because there was a sudden knock at the door that caused Blaine and Kurt to snap out of their trance and freeze in place. Kurt felt Blaine's racing heart under his hand still placed upon his chest and he saw the absolute terror in his wide eyes. 

“Blaine? You in there?” a voice called through the closed door. 

“Maybe he's not in?” a second voice said. 

“No, I saw him go in there after class,” the first voice explained. 

Blaine hissed, “Oh no, that's Joe and Sam!”

While Kurt had yet to be introduced, Blaine had told him all about his two best friends at school but Kurt wasn't really in the mood to meet them at present. The two had already done enough for Kurt to come to instantly dislike them and their cock-blocking ways. Neither did Kurt having to watch Blaine jump off the bed and begin to flail about like a chicken with his head cut off put in a more reasonable mood. 

“Blaine, will you fucking relax!” Kurt muttered under his breath. 

They knocked on the door knocked again, louder this time and the noise made Blaine cease to a halt. 

“Right. Sorry,” Blaine said as he attempted to calm himself down. “I hate to ask, but can you please--” he began to say, but was cut off when he felt Kurt's consciousness enter his body. 

_'Way ahead of you Blaine, now go answer the door before they're gone,'_ Kurt said. 

Without any further delay, Blaine hurried over to the door and opened it up to find Sam and Joe standing on the other-side. Smiles were given all around in greeting and Blaine just hoped he didn't look too suspicious – considering what he had just been up to. “Oh, hey there guys, what's up?” Blaine said quickly. 

“You disappeared as soon as last class was over Blaine, so we couldn't invite you hang out with us,” Joe, who was tall and had short brown hair, explained. 

“We've barely seen you for weeks, what's happened to you?” Sam, the blond with a perfect build, added. 

“Sorry about that. I've been hitting to books really hard,” Blaine said, it was the truth – more or less. 

“We all have, Blaine and I dunno about you guys but I need a serious break from studying,” Sam said. 

“We're going out for some food, you should join us, Blaine,” said Joe with a coxing smile. 

Blaine hesitated. He did miss hanging out with his friends but what about Kurt? Could he really go after kissing him like that? No, it was out of the question. There was no way he could leave things between them so confusing and unfinished. He had to tell Kurt how sorry he was. At the time it had felt good, but it was still wrong. So then, his friends’ appearance was his and Kurt’s saving grace. _‘Thank God,’_ he thought to himself, though his problems were far from over. 

“Oh well... um...” Blaine stammered in attempts to stall as he came up with a good excuse. 

_'Go with them Blaine, we'll talk later,'_ Kurt said. 

_'Are you sure?'_

_'Yes. Your friends are clearly worried about you Blaine, so go and talk with them.'_

Blaine, who realized that Sam and Joe were still waiting for his reply, took his excitement down a notch and said, “Sure, I'm in. Just let me go change my shirt, grab a jacket and I'll be right with you.”

Once he was convinced that they didn't think he was hiding anything from them, Blaine closed the door and darted over to his dresser. _'I'm sorry about this, Kurt,'_ Blaine told him regrettably. 

Kurt knew it was wrong to go to level one without telling Blaine but he hadn't thought about at the time. In any case, it wasn't like reading Blaine's mind made him feel any better. 'Saving grace' my ass! Hearing those thoughts from Blaine sure made it easy to get away from his friend for the night. Not to mention how Kurt was so sexually frustrated after being so abruptly cut off. His body craved more and Kurt knew he'd never get what he needed from Blaine, so that was his cue to leave. Kurt withdrew to level two and was grateful that it seemed Blaine was too distracted to notice any difference.

 _'I'll take my leave then,'_ Kurt finally said. 

Blaine put on a new shirt and draped his jacket over on his arm, but he couldn't leave just yet. “We'll talk soon okay?” 

Kurt was so done with Blaine that he was willing to hide his displeasure just so he could get away from him. As pissed as he currently felt, Kurt knew his anger would die down, so that was another less petty reason to go. He slipped away from Blaine and materialized just so he could make his act believable enough for Blaine to leave with his friends. 

“You worry too much Blaine, it will give you premature wrinkles if you're not careful,” Kurt said teasingly. 

As much as he didn't want to part on such an awkward note, Blaine knew any attempts he made to mend their situation at this stage would only go horribly wrong. There wasn't any time for that either, not with Sam and Joe waiting for him out in the hall. Left with no other choice, Blaine flashed Kurt a smile, told him thanks and hurried out of his dorm room. 

Kurt just stood there as the door closed behind Blaine; needing a moment to let everything sink in before he moved on. Blaine, for whatever reason, had actually kissed him, and they had kept on kissing until they were rudely interrupted. Blaine had been given a way out and he took it, though Kurt knew deep down that Blaine hadn't asked for it. Nor had he gone off without a word but despite Blaine's caring nature, saying that Kurt wasn't looking forward to what would have to happen next was an understatement. Just thinking about what Blaine would say to him when they saw each other again, about how it had all just been a big mistake, made him feel petty and bitter. Kurt didn't want to feel either of those emotions and he sure wasn't about to sulk at home waiting for Blaine to call him either. 

There far better ways for him to blow off his pent up emotions and none of which were anything that Blaine would consider appropriate – at least not for him to participate in. Kurt chose to travel back to home via subspace -- as in where he went when he wasn't in his physical body – because it made the short journey even quicker. The second Kurt stepped into his apartment he stripped off of his clothes, as if it would wipe the memory of Blaine's body pressed up against him from his mind.

After taking a quick shower, Kurt rooted through his closet for the perfect outfit; ironically he went for the same leather pants he had first met Blaine in. His choice didn’t have anything to do with Blaine though, they were just his lucky hook-up pants. He pulled them effortlessly over his hips despite their snug fit and went to select a shirt to go with it, opting for a sleek fitting red tank top. That only left his hair to fix up and Kurt wasted no time styling it to complete perfection. On a sudden whim, Kurt even added a bit of black eyeliner to make his eyes pop. Armed and ready, Kurt practically strutted out of his apartment but as soon as he cleared the building he turned it down a notch. 

Kurt soon arrived at his local watering hole, and he was ready to have some hot meaningless sex to turn his hellish night around. Kurt laughed. Funny how he could want something one moment and then want another the next. What he currently wanted wasn't to pine after a clueless priest boy anymore, he needed to feel desired, wanted, even if it was just for sex. 

He glided inside and already his appearance was getting noticed; it was good to be back. Kurt grinned at the cut before him, pleased that it seemed to be quite above par tonight. Time to remind himself of what he'd been missing out on while he had been busy playing house with Blaine.  
________________________________________________________________________  

Poker had never been Blaine's game, he always gave too much away in his eyes, and his whole face in general. Nor was he that much better at pulling the wool over people’s eyes on a whole. Yet despite these two facts, Blaine knew that this time, as he smiled nervously as his two closet friends at school, he would have to lie – there just wasn't any other way around it. 

“How about these exams huh? They're really kicking my but,” Blaine said. 

Apparently Sam wasn't about to let Blaine stall for any longer. “Well you have been skipping out on going to study night for the past month.” 

Blaine flinched but he figured he deserved the remark, since it was true. “Yeah I know...” 

“We've all been wondering what's been going on with you, Blaine,” Joe said. “It's not like to you shut people out like this.” 

Blaine winced this time as he was hit with a sudden wave of guilt. “I'm really sorry for being so MIA lately. I needed to take a step back so I could deal with some... problems I've been struggling with for a while,” Blaine explained. 

Joe and Sam exchanged a glance before Joe took the lead again and asked, “What sort of problems?” 

Blaine's jaw tightened slightly; he really hadn't thought this through at all. “Just some personal stuff,” he quickly replied. Unfortunately Blaine instantly noticed that his vague reply only caused Sam and Joe to look even more worried. “What? What's going on?” Blaine questioned warily, picking up on their unease. “What are you guys too afraid to tell me?” 

There was enough trust between the three of them to know it was safe to speak freely with one another and Blaine was glad for it. He might not be able to tell them what was really going on his life but he knew they at least would be honest with him. Though as he watched the two whisper to one another, Blaine wasn't so sure he'd like what they were about to tell him. 

“There are rumours about you going around campus, they were small at first but as you went deeper into hiding, they've been growing,” said Sam, who smiled at Blaine sympathetically. 

Blaine's eyes further narrowed; yeah, he was right, he wasn't going to like this – not one bit. “Like what?” 

“All of a sudden you stopped being... well you, Blaine; you would always hurry off as soon as class was over, you stopped helping out with youth group and even were you were around, like at church, it was like your mind was someplace else,” Sam continued, ignoring Blaine's question. 

“People started theorizing what had gotten into you and those theories started to spread around,” Joe added. 

Blaine took a deep breath in anticipation for hearing what people were saying about him behind his back. 

“You weren't acting like yourself at all...” Joe started to say until Blaine let out a loud groan, cutting him off. 

“Seriously guys just tell me what the rumours are!” Blaine said impatiently. 

“They were nothing at first, just stupid stuff that didn't stick for long... that is until you were seen out with some guy. Even then most of the school didn't pay much attention until those sighting became more numerous,” Joe explained. 

Blaine wanted to smack his head with his hand but that wouldn't help him at all. He thought he and Kurt were being so careful! He should have known that no amount of digression on their part could keep them under the radar. In truth Blaine hadn't even tried that hard to hide his friendship with Kurt, because in his mind, they weren't doing anything wrong. 

“It's not too hard to guess what people would start to think,” Blaine said, not stating the actual word just yet. “I wish I could say I didn't expect it but that would be a lie.” 

“Blaine, you gotta know that we never did anything to fuel _those_ rumours. We jumped to your defense and said you could never be like that,” Sam said. 

Blaine sighed. He knew his friends were just looking out for him but just the way that Sam was wording himself triggered something in Blaine that felt very much like anger. “Like what? Gay?” Blaine said, choosing to say the obvious this time. 

“What's happened to you, Blaine?” Joe asked. 

In an instant Blaine's anger subsided. “I'm sorry Joe, you and Sam haven't done anything wrong, as I said... I've had a lot going on...” 

“Does that mean you're...” Sam said, trailing off awkwardly. 

Blaine shook his head. “I have been hanging out with a guy lately but he's just a new friend of mine.” 

Apparently Blaine's simple explanation wasn't enough to put either of his friends at ease. Blaine sighed. That figured. At one point – like a few hours ago – Blaine might have been able to say with absolute certainty that his relationship with Kurt was strictly platonic but that had all changed with a kiss. Blaine wasn't about to admit any of this to his friends though. He refused to talk to anyone about what had just happened, not until he faced Kurt at least. 

“So does everyone think I'm gay now?” Blaine asked, fearing the answer. 

“A vast majority do, but not everyone Blaine, a lot of people know better than to just assume like that. But people are still talking and the longer you stay away the worse it could get,” Joe said. 

“I personally don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, sure it might say so in the Bible but that's just Old Testament crap,” Sam added with a little too much enthusiasm. 

Blaine sighed, “But when I'm studying to be a priest, the possibility of me being gay suddenly becomes scandalous.” 

“Pretty much,” Sam said. 

Blaine dug his fingers into his hair as his chin touched the table they were sitting around. This was the last thing Blaine needed to deal with right now. He couldn't care less about what other people thought about him, they could gossip all they wanted. Sure it was a little concerning when Blaine thought about the rumours reaching his teachers but it wasn't like they were true. There was no rule that Blaine couldn't have men as friends, even ones who were gay. 

“I really appreciate you telling me what's going on. I needed that,” Blaine told them both. 

“That's what friends are for, Blaine,” Joe said. 

“And you would have done the same thing for us, buddy,” Sam added, patting Blaine on the back. 

“I know I haven't been around much lately but that is going to change from here on out. These rumours aren't the only repercussions of my actions, as I said at the start of our discussion... my grades have dropped significantly. If I'm not careful, I could end up failing my senior year and obviously I cannot let that happen. Things need to change; I need to put my priorities back in order... and quick,” Blaine said. 

“Did something happen between you and your friend?” Joe asked innocently. 

“No. It's nothing like that, honest,” Blaine said, lying through his teeth and hating every minute. 

“So he won't mind if you have to stop hanging out with him so much?” Sam said. 

“He'll understand,” Blaine replied, hoping that claim wouldn't become a lie as well. 

 

To his Blaine's relief the rest of the evening with his friends was simple and fun and where Blaine fell instantly back in his usual rapport with Joe and Sam. They joked with one another, filled Blaine up to date with what was going on their own lives and vented together about their upcoming finals. 

By the end of the night Blaine was in much better spirits and yet on the inside the stress he had pushed all down was already threatening to resurface. It wasn't until Blaine parted ways with Sam and Joe and headed back to his dorm that his good mood took an unexpected nose dive. Once he was back at the scene of the crime the realization of what he had done struck him hard. 

He stormed over to his mirror, planted his hand firmly on his desk and stared angrily at his reflection. “What in the world was I thinking?” Blaine shouted at himself. 

That was just it though, Blaine hadn't been thinking at all. He'd had gone and kissed Kurt without contemplating how it might ruin their friendship. Blaine thought he would have learned his lesson by now. Hadn't he suffered through enough the last time he had kissed a boy to ever want to do it again? Apparently not. Blaine was in no state to relive past memories about what had happened with him and Eli. He needed to focus on the present and what he was going to do about Kurt. 

Blaine paced around his dorm room until he tired himself out, flopping down on his bed in defeat. Despite his efforts to put the past behind him, in his emotionally weakened state his parents harsh words from when his and Eli's amorous pastimes were revealed kept popping into his mind. No matter how hard he tried to forget their words, it was no use because, even when it was years later, their words were still as clear as day. But since they were not pleasant memories, Blaine moved on to the pivotal moment were it all had changed for the better.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You need to see it from our side, son, how much it's hurting us to see you going through so much pain,” Blaine's dad, Jonathan, said for the third time that weekend. 

Blaine was seated at the dinning room table and despite how hungry he was, he was tempted to excuse himself. He couldn't stand it anymore: his parents’ constant looks of sympathy, or how they kept repeating the same words over and over. He was glad that the tension looming around them was breaking but at what cost? 

“Dad, I know...” Blaine muttered under his breath. 

“Did you say something, honey?” his mother, Grace, asked sweetly. 

Blaine wasn't sure which was worse: his father's lingering disapproval or how his mother kept on patronizing him like he were a child. Either way, Blaine figured it was time to tell his parents the solution he had come up with all on his own. 

Blaine put down his fork and took a deep breath; he could do this. He looked at his mother, who was still smiling at him and said, “I know I haven't given you and Dad much reason not to worry Mom, and I am sorry for that. I know you only want what's best for me but I couldn’t just ask for your help this time. I had to do things on my own, for the most part at least. I have thought long and hard about what I did and why I did it and for the longest time. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pick myself back up.”

“The first step I took so reconcile that was to look deep inside myself to figure out what my next actions should be. I soon learned that it wasn't just enough for me to volunteer at Church and get involved with his various youth programs. I needed a whole new start, an entirely different path to take so I wouldn't lose myself down the same dark road again. So after a little soul searching... and a lot of prayer, a new path opened up in front of me and it feels like the right direction for me to go in.”

The matching expressions of anxiety on his parents faced was enough to convince Blaine that it was the right time to share his plans -- however difficult that might be. But that was the whole reason he had told his older brother Cooper first and that had gone decently enough. 

“I've decided to become a priest. I've already applied to The Catholic University of America in Washington DC and I think my chances of getting accepted are very good,” Blaine told his parents.

Although Blaine had expected them to be surprise, he hadn't thought they would look this concerned by the news. He was sure they would be happy for him. “Isn't that great news?” Blaine prodded. 

Jonathan's bewilderment softened as he looked at his son. “It is Blaine, as long as you're sure that's what you want to do with your life.” 

“I hope we haven't unintentionally pressured you into making this decision Blaine, because entering the priesthood is a very big commitment to make,” said Grace, who touched her son's hand gently as if to show that he did have her support. 

Blaine was finally able to tell when his parents truly did have his best interest in mind and this was clearly one of those times. “Mom, Dad...” Blaine began, pausing to look them each in the eye. “I want to do this. No, this is what I need to do. I want to dedicate my life fully to God – I want to give hope to those who felt as lost as I once did.” 

It appeared that Grace had been convinced enough by her son's touching words. She rushed over to embrace Blaine, who hugged her back, his face beaming. It wasn't long before Jonathan joined the little celebration when he placed his hand upon Blaine's shoulder. Blaine took a deep breath and he soaked in their words of encouragement and when he heard them both say there were so proud of him, he knew he had done right. Blaine had finally put his inner weakness to rest and he couldn't wait to see where the road he'd laid out for himself would take him to.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

Four years had passed since Blaine had made his decision to be a priest and yet he still felt like he was at a crossroad. Kurt and what he could be to Blaine could possibly derail Blaine altogether, and not just his life but Kurt’s as well – and their friendship. Tired and confused, Blaine decided to sleep on it. He let out a loud yawn as he crawled into bed. Hopefully in the morning he’d have a better idea if he wanted to turn left, right or remain in the straight lane. ________________________________________________________________________

As luck would have it – or not much because of where he was – it didn't take long for Kurt to find a willing partner who got his blood rushing enough to meet his approval. This particular hottie's name turned out of be Taylor and the deep kisses they'd shared on the dance floor was enough to make Kurt want to sample his talents in a more private setting. 

On reaching Kurt's front door, he and Taylor practically burst through it and went flying into the room laughing. They shared a glance before quickly coming together again, passionately making out. 

Kurt already had his hands around the waist of his pants pulling them down off his hips when Taylor laughed, “Are you for real?” 

Kurt looked up from his spot kneeling down in front of Taylor; not bothering to stop giving him a skilled hand job. “As soon as you're hard enough I'll show you how real I am,” he purred. Now this, this was something he had really missed. If Blaine wanted to stay just friends, then that's what would happen, but he wasn't about to live a life a celibacy because of that. 

On the other side of Kurt's apartment door were two women, one blonde, the other brunette -- both sworn enemies. Yet as they stood there a short distance apart, neither one rose to strike first. Instead they quietly listened to the sensual noises trailing from the door in front of them. 

Santana snickered to herself, shaking her head in amusement. “Oh, you guys are so screwed, just like my cousin is about to be,” she announced to her rival. 

Quinn's mouth upturned slightly but her icy stare didn't falter. “Don't be so sure.” 

“We both know what's gonna happen next; Blaine's gonna come ask for forgiveness after kissing him and find out Kurt fucked some guy. I can't wait to see the dumb look on his face when that happens.”

“Kurt is allowed to sleep with whomever he wants.” 

Santana rolled her eyes. “Oh please, this is so going to drive a huge rift in their pathetic excuse for a friendship. Blaine is gonna take one look at Kurt in his post morning sex-a-thon glory and turn tail and run right back to Jesus Christ, and Kurt will realize he's far more demon than angel and choose the only team that knows what humans are good for,” she preached. 

“Fodder?”

“I was gonna say sex tools but that too.”

“Blaine and Kurt's connection runs deeper than you think, they could still come out of this okay,” Quinn said, as if she were trying to counter Santana's every word. 

“If you think Kurt will choose to join your holy ranks then you have some serious delusions of grandeur.” 

“At the rate this is going, I don't see Kurt choosing a side at all. I think he'll reject us both,” Quinn admitted. 

Santana snorted, “If he does that he might as well put a bulls-eye on his back.”

“There is still room to hope, Satana.” 

“That's Santana to you, _Quinn_ , and you'd best not forget it. Kurt's not the only one you angels should be worried about,” she threatened. “Even without power like him I bet I could still kick your tiny ass.”

A sharp cry of ecstasy interrupted Quinn and Santana's potential show down and the two women broke out laughing. Their mutual hate for one another was far from gone though, Kurt's lewd shouting just reminded them that they weren't there to duel. 

“Someone's enjoying themselves at least,” Santana remarked. 

“Lucky Kurt.” 

Santana gave her hair a sassy flip. It wasn't like she wanted to duke it out with Quinn out on Kurt's doorstep, nor did she have the clearance to either. “Whatever, I guess we'll both have to wait and see what happens.” 

“If we plan to follow our orders,” Quinn said in agreement. 

Things were really heating up inside Kurt's apartment and it sounded like the boys inside were enjoying themselves immensely. 

“Are you getting as turned on as I am? How about it Blondie? Wanna see why Kurt's dad couldn't resist the temptation to get with a demon?” Santana flirted. 

Quinn's dagger eyes scanned Santana's shapely body; sizing her over and once done, she advanced on the she-demon. In one fluid movement, she was right in front of her and Quinn reached out to touch Santana's chin gently. But it was never wise to trust an angel, because they could be just as cunning as any demon. Right when their mouths were only inches apart, Quinn's eyes turned cold. 

“You wouldn't live through the experience,” she whispered, taking her leave before Santana could give a bitchy response.

Left without a chance to get the satisfactory last word, or a night of dangerous yet hot sex, Santana stormed away from Kurt's front door.

“God, I hate angels,” Santana grumbled before she too disappeared from the hallway.


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine woke the following day with the road still left untraveled being as much a mystery as it had been the night prior. If only Blaine could get off the _road_ altogether and take a very long pit stop. But there wasn't any time in Blaine's busy life to take any sort of break and there was certainly no time for metaphors either. It was too close to the end of term for Blaine to stay in bed so he forced himself to get up and face the day ahead – no matter how much it would suck.

At first it was going well enough as Blaine went through his usual morning routine: he showered, got dressed and ate a quick breakfast. But just as he was putting the final touches on his hair it all fell apart. Try as he might, Blaine couldn't keep his many thoughts about Kurt out of his mind. Should he try to contact him? As terrifying as that the idea was, Blaine knew the longer he waited to face him the harder it would be. Blaine glanced as his phone and swore under his breath -- or the less profane equivalent – he had to go. And without hearing Kurt's cheerful morning greeting too. Ugh. This was going to be the worst day ever, he just knew it. 

Blaine entered the correct classroom feeling totally alone even though it was full of people. He took a seat far in the back and just sat there quietly; looking anything but his usual friendly self. Blaine's patience was also no where to be found as he checked his watch and discovered that there was five minutes left until the lesson would start! Maybe he could use that time just to let Kurt know he wanted to talk to him once he was finally free. 

_'Kurt,'_ Blaine sent in attempts to reach his friend but there was no reply. Not even the slightest him of Kurt's presence. Blaine frowned; what was going on? Every other time Blaine had contacted Kurt he had always replied. Was he that pissed off at him? Blaine shuddered at the thought. 

“Psst, Earth to Blaine, where have you gone?” Sam hissed at Blaine.

Thanks to his friend's query, Blaine snapped out of it and flashed Sam a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I'm okay Sam, thanks,” he whispered back. 

Blaine's predictions turned out to be a bit dramatic though and his afternoon – while long – didn't end up being all that horrible. Never the less, as soon as the school portion of the day was over Blaine had one thing on his mind: he had to talk to Kurt. He had no idea what he was going to say to him or what could happen but he had to do it. Blaine nearly managed to make his hasty retreat out of the main building of the school when he heard someone call his name. He turned around to see Sam, Joe and three of their mutual friends heading towards him. 

“Blaine, we're going to go bowling. Up for joining us?” Joe said. 

In any other situation Blaine would have said yes, but he couldn't go another second without seeing Kurt, who still wouldn't respond to his calls. 

“Um actually guys, I'll have to take a rain check,” Blaine muttered and then he saw Joe and Sam eye him warily, as if to say 'what are you doing?'. Blaine sighed. He knew this wouldn't help the rumours about him but he had bigger things to worry about. “I just have a few loose ends to take care of,” Blaine added and he was off, bringing out his phone to send text to Joe that said. 

_I just need to talk to Kurt. Can you cover for me? Sam too. Please!_

Joe's reply came a few minutes later. 

_ All right but you owe us, Blaine. Big time. _

_Thanks!_

With there finally being nothing left to get in his way, Blaine ran fearlessly off to find Kurt, or maybe he was running because if he stopped for even a second his courage would leave him. Either way Blaine charged ahead. Somehow Blaine had to make Kurt understand that he could never make him happy, and that he deserved so much better. 

Blaine arrived at his destination and stood in front of Kurt's door apprehensively. He took a deep breath, knocked on the door and waited -- for what felt like ages. Blaine knocked again, louder this time, in the hopes that Kurt was there and just hadn't heard him somehow. “Kurt, it's me, Blaine, are you there?” Blaine said in a raised voice. 

There was a click of the lock and the door opened to reveal Kurt, who was shirtless and wearing only a pair of bold coloured boxer-briefs. At the sight of Blaine, Kurt's hardened gaze softened slightly, but it was nowhere near the friendly manner Blaine was used to seeing. “Oh, hello Blaine, you all right there?”

Blaine couldn't stop his eyes from widening at seeing Kurt's state of dress. Something was off, why wasn't Kurt inviting him inside and why was he practically naked at this time of day? “You weren't answering any of my calls,” Blaine said. 

Kurt ran a hand through his messy hair; of course Blaine didn't recognize the tell tale signs when someone had just had sex. “Oh that, I was otherwise engaged,” he casually explained. 

“Is this a bad time?” 

Kurt sighed. He was still pretty worn out and Taylor was still in the apartment showering. What to do: should he send Blaine away and deal with him when he was more prepared or should he just get it over with now? After-all, he had nothing to hide and honestly, Blaine could use a reminder that other guys didn't have any trouble acting on their attraction towards him. 

“In a way, but since you're here already, you can come on in,” Kurt said finally, opening the door so Blaine could step inside. “I'm just gonna go put something on. I'll be back in a sec,” he added. 

Blaine could only mumble a quick okay in response because he was too distracted by the various warning signals going off in his mind. First there was Kurt's cool demeanour towards him and then there was the sinking suspicion to why Kurt wasn't wearing any clothes. He scanned the apartment for any clues and to his horror: he quickly found one. There, lying on the floor half under a magazine was a condom – a used one. Blaine suppressed a shudder but seeing it didn't gross him out or anything, no, his reaction was for another reason altogether. 

_'Kurt hooked up with someone -- recently,'_ Blaine concluded. 

Kurt returned a moment later wearing a pair of grey sweat pants and black long sleeve shirt. Blaine had never seen him look so casual before. What did that mean? Often Kurt's wardrobe gave clues to the mood he was in and his current lack of colour, or style, was concerning. What was he doing? _'Stop worrying about Kurt's clothes and do what you came here for,'_ his conscience nagged at him. 

“Kurt, we need to talk,” Blaine began. 

“Fine, go ahead and start talking then,” Kurt said. 

The rigidness in Kurt's tone was hardly encouraging for Blaine to hear but he refused to shy away this time, not when there was so much at stake. “Kurt, I--” Blaine started, but his words were cut off when an attractive looking guy with black hair and green eyes waltzed out of Kurt's bedroom, totally oblivious to the awkward situation he'd just stepped into. 

The guy, who was grinning giddily, had a cheery swagger in his step and his smile actually grew when he noticed Kurt standing there. He made his way over to him, ignoring Blaine completely. “Hey, well that was quite a fun ride. We must do it again sometime,” he chimed. 

“We really should, Taylor,” Kurt said, using his name for Blaine's sake, though his friend didn't look very pleased to learn his name. 

Taylor smirked at Kurt and reached out to take hold of Kurt's hand so he could place a piece of paper in it. “That's my number, so be sure to call me, okay? I know you said anything beyond casual isn't your style but I would be up for more, if you're interested in seeing what that's like. I'd love to take you out on a real date and get to know you better. Think how good the sex would be then,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Kurt for empathizes. 

Kurt laughed at Taylor's antics; he was pretty cute, also an animal in bed, so that was two things going for him. Of course, there was Blaine to think about, and it was hard to ignore him when he was standing there, silently scowling at him and Taylor. “I'm always up for trying new things,” Kurt flirted. 

Taylor laughed, “Don't I know it!” 

Blaine coughed lightly in attempts to remind the two men that he was there. 

“Oh, I have a rival, do I? Or am I already too late and Mr. Dapper over here has taken you off the dating market?” Taylor playfully asked. 

“This is Blaine, he's a friend of mind,” Kurt said. 

Blaine just nodded at Taylor in greeting, though his attempts to be polite were pointless because the young man's attention was still fixated on Kurt. Taylor leaned in to give Kurt a quick peck on the lips before heading towards the door. He let himself out without saying goodbye, leaving the pair of friends alone to sort out their many issues. Blaine studied Kurt for a moment, but Kurt's emotional barriers were fully up, making it impossible to read him. The only thing Blaine could gather was that Kurt apparently had no problem with his sex partner running into Blaine. Nor did he feel the need to censor himself while Blaine was around; he was flaunting it even! 

“What's going on Kurt, who was that guy?” Blaine demanded. 

Kurt brought his right hand to his forehead. “Oh come on Blaine, you can't be that blind. But if you want me to spell it out for you, fine then, have it _your_ way. That was Taylor, we met last night and we came back here to have sex and we had sex this morning too... and then later in the afternoon, because he was that good,” he said. “Or rather, we were that good together.” 

Hearing what he had already guessed but didn't want to believe wasn't fun for Blaine, who took a step back from Kurt. “I can't believe you would do something like that,” Blaine stuttered in shock. 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Well believe it Blaine, because the evidence you've seen so far is too substantial to deny.” Blaine's disproving expression complete with raised eyebrows was aggravating Kurt to no end, making it hard to hold back his sharp tongue. “Sorry to disappoint you Blaine, but I am an unattached male, so I can sleep with whomever I want. If you have a problem with that, then you only have yourself to blame. Because you could have been that guy, so don't get pissed at me if you didn't go for it yourself.” 

“I never--” Blaine started to argue, but Kurt's cold stare cut him off. 

“You what? Never meant to act on your sinful desires? Never planned to acknowledge the fact that you like kissing guys? Can you really keep lying to yourself considering what happened between us yesterday?” Kurt spat. “I guess you can, since you couldn't wait to run away from me!” 

Blaine's anger spiked; finally boiling to the surface. “You were the one who told me to go with them!” he shouted back. 

Kurt scoffed, “Oh please, don't you try to get off on a technicality.”

“I'm not trying to! Why are you acting like this, Kurt?”

“Like what?” 

“Like a stranger, like you don't trust me, like the past month never happened,” Blaine listed, desperately trying to reach Kurt somehow to make him understand. 

“Funny, I could say the same thing about you. I see you, standing in front of me, looking at me with such pity and I find myself wondering: where did my friend go? Where's the man who brightened my day just with a smile? I thought we could make this work; you know, be friends and not have your religious beliefs get in the way. Then you had to just go and fuck things up by kissing me and yet... I'm the one who feels like I did something wrong!” 

Blaine could tell that Kurt was far too angry to just forgive and forget and while Blaine felt just as irritated, in his case his friend's anger towards him was playing into his many insecurities. Blaine felt so far away from Kurt, so cut off; like they were in totally different worlds. That was it wasn't it? He and Blaine were completely different, not only with their moral values but right down to their DNA. 

“Kurt, It was all me. I'm the one who kissed you, it's my fault and I am so sorry,” Blaine said softly. 

The apology, while touching, was nothing Kurt wanted to hear, so he chopped his arm through the air to silence Blaine's attempts to make himself feel better. “Apology not accepted, Blaine,” Kurt snapped. 

“I'm only human, Kurt, and I messed up okay.” 

“Oh, my god Blaine, just stop talking! You're only making it worse!” Kurt growled, tuning away from his friend. 

Blaine stubbornly refused to let Kurt walk away from him and he stood defiantly in front of him. “What's wrong with you?”

To Blaine's frustration, Kurt tried to evade Blaine again, to no avail, because Blaine managed to counter his every move. Finally when Kurt chose to look at him, Blaine saw that there were tears in his eyes. He looked so hurt and vulnerable that it caught Blaine completely off guard. “Kurt...” 

Backed into a corner and with nowhere to escape, unless he used his powers but he was in no state to. Kurt's final hold on his emotions broke; his lips began to quiver while his eyes darted back and forth nervously. Kurt hadn't meant to get this upset but he couldn't help himself. This was horrible and way worse than he could have imagined. Kurt knew he had to make himself very clear though, so he looked right into Blaine's soft brown eyes.

“I don't want to hear you say that kissing me didn't mean anything, because it meant everything to me, Blaine,” Kurt whispered. 

Oh what a fool Blaine had been; he hadn't considered things from Kurt's perspective at all. Blaine might have been the first to kiss him, but Kurt had instantly responded. That said a lot about what his own feelings might be and that realization rocked him to his core.

“I wasn't thinking...” Blaine said. 

Kurt let out a mocking laugh; though it didn't make him feel any better. “Oh that is so like you Blaine, to lay all the blame on yourself. But the truth of it is, neither of us were thinking and now we've paying the price.” 

Blaine felt like he could cry, either from frustration, sadness or a combination of both. “What does this mean for us?” 

Why did Blaine always have to say the worst possible thing? “There is no us Blaine, there never was, and it's time I accept that there never will be,” Kurt countered. 

“So our friendship means nothing to you then? You're just going to give it up and throw it all away?” 

Kurt threw his hands up in the air and shouted, “You're still not listening! You mean everything to me, Blaine!”

Blaine was so angry that he only registered Kurt’s accusation and not the confession that followed it.“You say that and yet look at yourself! You're like a bomb that's about to explode!” 

“Ooh... good use of an analogy Blaine... maybe I should let it all out? I already know what to begin with too: how I figured out the answer to your problems a long time ago--” 

“Let me save you the trouble Kurt, because I already know what you're gonna say!” Blaine interrupted. 

Kurt was too surprised by Blaine having an actual backbone to make a snarky remark. He just crossed his arms over his chest and just waited for Blaine to speak his case. 

“You think my problem is that I refused to accept that I'm gay, but you're forgetting one important fact Kurt: sexual orientation doesn't matter in this instance. Any man, whether they're straight or gay, has to make the same decision when they choose to dedicate themselves to God,” Blaine explained. 

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's wild claims; which were widely inaccurate. Blaine was in desperate need of reality check. “Nice try Blaine, but _you're_ forgetting the fact that the Catholic Church sees homosexuality as a sin. If a gay man were to become a priest and then if he ever let the fact be known that he is gay, then I bet the reaction would be very different than if it were a straight man admitting he liked women. A straight man is respected for his selfless choice but when a gay man does the same thing then he's obviously just looking for forgiveness. As if God is the only thing can save his soul. Either that or he hides who he truly is from everyone one he knows, including God, and because of that, he can never feel accepted, comforted or loved. I wouldn't want that life for anyone, Blaine, not even you.”

Blaine hesitated for a moment; Kurt almost had him. If he weren't still so angry with his friend then perhaps he could admit how most of what Kurt was saying was true. Instead he had his own counter remarks to preach at Kurt, who was looking rather smug for his tastes.

“In my case Kurt, if I were to go ahead and admit that am I gay -- and I'm not saying that I am! I doubt it would fix everything. Not my personal struggles, not the issues between us, it would change nothing. I see now that the only way you'll be happy is if I were to throw my life away and give it up for love. You'd be doing me a favour then too, because you'd be saving me from a life of celibacy after all,” Blaine said mockingly. 

Kurt gaped at Blaine. The accusation stung, even if it wasn't entirely true, Kurt still struggled to push down the rising guilt welling up in him. He was secretly hoping that being by Blaine's side would make him stop denying his sexuality. Why had he been stupid enough to fall for someone like him? 

_'Because love isn't a choice,'_ his inner voice nagged back at him. Sometimes there was no helping it. Just like right now there was no hope of him and Blaine putting their differences aside so they could remain friends. 

“Kurt... I didn’t—”

“Save it, Blaine,” Kurt snapped. 

Blaine opened his mouth to say something in his defense but Kurt's dagger eyes rendered him silent. He already knew if he tried to apologize Kurt would just interrupt him. Fine. If Kurt refused to act like an adult, then Blaine would keep their argument going. He needed to stop worrying about what others thought and look after himself. Grow a backbone. Man up. Blaine made a break for he door while he told himself that he wasn't running, he was just leaving before things could get any worse. He turned the handle of the doorknob and opened it up, keeping his back turned to Kurt as he took a first step.

Unfortunately for Blaine, making a break for it was the worst possible thing he could have done. Kurt’s anger quickly turned to pure outrage. What the fuck was he doing? How would bolting help them in the slightest? Blaine had some nerve, and Kurt wasn’t going to let him get away.

“Now look who's running!” Kurt shouted, stopping Blaine in his tracks. “You were just waiting for a good excuse to get away from me all along! You blame me for you 'losing your way', as if it's my fault that you let your grades slide. You're so fucking delusional Blaine, all you had to do was ask me and I would have stepped back. Now that I know how you really feel, allow me to give back your life of righteousness!” Kurt said bitterly, severing the link that connected them. 

Blaine was nearly knocked off his feet by the overwhelming sensation of what felt as if Blaine was suddenly missing a piece of himself. No, it was worse than that: He felt like he was going through withdrawal. Blaine staggered backwards as he tried to recover and get his heavy breathing under control. His legs kept shaking and his heart ached. Blaine looked over to see that clearly Kurt knew what he was going through. 

Kurt steadied himself against the edge of the wall; the fact that cutting their link was effecting him this much was proof that he'd let things between them go too far. Blaine was supposed to be just an assignment; his ticket to discovering which side he belonged on. He very much doubted either side would approve of him falling in love with a human. 

“Go ahead then, go take back the life that you say you want, but don't come crying to me if you have any second thoughts, because I won't give you any second chances,” Kurt said coldly. 

If Kurt's beautiful face had showed any signs of remorse then maybe Blaine could have given one last attempt to mend the rift between them. Instead Blaine glanced at the door and then back at Kurt, who had drawn out his wings to remind Blaine who he really was. 

“Blaine, it's about time we both accept...” Kurt told Blaine sincerely, pausing to add. “...that we don't belong together.” 

Blaine took Kurt's words – however painful they were – straight to his bruised heart and he walked to the door, opened it and closed it behind him without looking back.  
________________________________________________________________________   

Finally, with that meddlesome Kurt out of the way, Blaine could pay proper attention to his studies. Blaine let out a tired sigh. It was no use. No matter how he worded it, it was futile for him to try and turn Kurt into a villain, because it wouldn't make him feel any better. What Blaine felt was lonely. He missed Kurt so much it hurt. The only choice he had was to throw himself back into the life he had started to neglect: he resumed going to bible study, took back on all of his duties at church and hung out with his usual group of friends – and studying of course. For a short while, Blaine thought he was managing rather well: his grades had vastly improved and he no longer felt alienated from everyone. Little did he know that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget Kurt, or the gaping hole his absence had left. 

“I don't have time for this!” Blaine muttered under his breath. 

“You say something, Blaine?” Joe asked absentmindedly, his attention more on his notebook than Blaine. 

Oh yeah. Blaine wasn't alone; he was studying with Joe and Sam for their upcoming final in their own shared dorm room. 

“I was just muttering to myself,” Blaine said truthfully, not explaining any further. 

Two hours later and the studying trio were feeling a bit cagey, so they headed off to the cafeteria to refuel. Blaine smiled and laughed at his friends’ comments and made sure to talk enough so neither would worry about him. How he felt on the inside was another matter though; Blaine was miserable and he only had himself to blame. How could he have said those things to Kurt? 

“You must be pretty stoked huh, Blaine,” Sam said, interrupting Blaine's thoughts of self pity. 

Blaine blinked in puzzlement and asked, “About what?” 

“How you're gonna be going to Theological College in the fall. You'll be one step closer to becoming a priest,” Sam explained. 

“I envy you Blaine, how you'll be so close to God,” Joe admitted. 

Blaine smiled at them both; neither Joe nor Sam was studying to be priests themselves, but that didn't mean that Blaine had more faith than them. Becoming a minister, or pastor wasn't any less noble, since everyone in some way was like a priest when they shared the word of God.

“Each of us hears God’s call differently,” Blaine said, quoting his own dad, who had said those exact words many times. 

“Spoken like a true priest,” Sam teased. 

“So have you heard any word from that friend of yours, what was his name... Curtis, lately?” Joe questioned. 

Blaine, who had been chewing a piece of sandwich, nearly ended up choking at the mention of Kurt. He coughed uncontrollably, which caused a number of people in the room to look his way. Sam went so far was to pat Blaine lightly on the back to help him along and Blaine took a long drink out of his water bottle. 

“Why are you asking about him?” Blaine wheezed. 

“I was just curious; you haven't been going out like you used to,” Joe said. 

“That's because we're right in the middle of finals,” Blaine explained. 

“Curtis was okay with you not being able to hang out for a while then?” asked Sam. 

Blaine suppressed an eye-roll; why were his friends so curious about Kurt, who they had never even met! “It's Kurt and yes, he's fine. It's not like we were attached at the hip or anything; we both have our own separate lives,” Blaine muttered, more to himself. “He's just a friend….” he added. 

“We know that. The rumours stopped as quickly as they started too, so you have nothing to worry about,” Sam said. 

“Aside from graduating,” Joe added jokingly. 

They took in a movie next, after meeting up with more friends of theirs. Blaine soaked up the attention; he'd always done well in crowds. Blaine was a chatterbox by nature, so if the conversation ever risked a drop Blaine was there to pick it back up again. Thankfully no mentions of Kurt came up again, but that didn't stop him from entering Blaine's mind throughout the night. It was hardly what most college seniors would consider a fun night out, but Blaine still felt worn out by the end of it. He headed back to his dorm room and fell onto his bed with a heavy thud. 

Of course, he couldn't fall asleep because that would have been too easy. It was still rather early in the night anyway, so Blaine sat back up. At first he wasn't sure what to do and he was just about to boot up his laptop when he got a sudden idea. He should do what he usually did whenever he was faced with a difficult question: pray to God. Blaine wasn't even sure what he would end up saying, but just talking to Him would take a load off – hopefully. 

“My Lord Heavenly Father,” Blaine began, getting down on his knees. “I feel so blessed for all you have given me...” he continued, until he realized, he wasn't at the family dinner table, so there was no need to act so formal. Blaine climbed back up and sat on the bed, keeping his hands clasped together as he closed his eyes. “God, it's me Blaine, your faithful servant... or I still hope to be one day anyway. I'm not actually talking to you because I want to pray for something, I just... need to say some things out-loud. I find myself wondering if I have made the right choices in life. If I had done things differently... would I feel like any less of a person? Would I feel this lost still? All of these theories keep popping into my head but the most scary one is... that I am not worthy enough to become a priest. How can I prove myself to you, to the Church, and to the whole world?” Blaine spoke softly. 

Blaine paused to let out a heavy sigh; he needed to tackle the bigger issue at hand, before it started to eat away at him. “I miss Kurt... so much... I feel like I'm incomplete somehow now that he's gone. I know I shouldn't feel this way; that these feelings I'm having aren't normal. I'm just so sick of feeling ashamed of my mistakes in life. I want to be happy, content, loved. I know you love me God, and I hope I'll never forget that... but I still miss him... more than I should.” 

Bible and absentmindedly started to flip the pages of his Bible. “Kurt told me once, during one of the few times we breached the subject of religion, how he thinks the whole 'God hate gays' as he'd put it, was entirely made up by humans. Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus ever say anything negative about homosexuality. I've always thought that you wouldn't hate anyone so unconditionally like that either. So why is there need to segregate anyone? Shouldn't we all be free to worship you together? There are new movements of course and new ways of thinking... but as far as the Catholic Church goes... there is still a long way to go to obtain true acceptance...” 

Blaine chuckled lightly, “Imagine what my professors would say if they could hear me now?” 

His moment of laughter didn't last for very long, because it was hard to laugh with such a void left in his heart. Blaine ran his finger along the golden embossed cross on the front of his Bible. “I keep wondering if you sent Kurt to me so I would learn some profound life-changing lesson... but if that was your plan... then I don't know what that lesson was.” 

All of a sudden Blaine's cellphone rang and he frowned; who was calling him at this time? He fished his phone out of his pocket to thumb the answer button. “Hello?”

“Blaine? Are you still awake? I'm sorry for calling so late,” Blaine's mother's voice spoke through the speaker. 

“I'm up still, is everything all right?” Blaine asked urgently. A quick glance showed him it was only 9:30pm, so he relaxed a bit. 

“Everything fine dear, your father and I just wanted to let you know we bought our plane tickets finally,” Grace explained. 

“Oh for my grad ceremony right? That's great! I'm really glad you're both coming for it,” Blaine muttered quickly. 

“Cooper is as well. He managed to book the time off from work.” 

“I'll have to text him a thank you later. When will you all be arriving?” 

“At the end of this week.” 

Blaine hadn't thought they'd come that soon, not since the day of his ceremony was still a week away. “Okay, let me know your arrival time and I can come pick you up at the airport,” Blaine offered. 

“Oh there's no need Blaine, you have enough to deal with already. How have your finals been going so far?”

“Decently, or I'd like to think so. The ones I've taken already went well enough and there are just two more left to go.” 

“I am sure you'll be happy when it's all over,” Grace said affectionately. 

Blaine laughed, “I sure will.” 

He and his mother talked for another fifteen minutes before they called it a night. Blaine let out a loud yawn as he put his phone down. Since he had a full day ahead of him tomorrow, he couldn't afford to stay up all night, nor did he want to. Blaine dressed for bed and got under his covers and tried to will himself to sleep. 

Blaine's dreams were full of Kurt; calling to him desperately in the darkness, urging him to locate his whereabouts. But no matter what direction he went in, Blaine could never find him. He kept running and running, shouting out Kurt's name until his voice grew hoarse, but there was no answer. Kurt was lost to him, both in real life and now even in his dreams. ________________________________________________________________________  

Blaine let out a tired sigh as he cleared the classroom doors. Another day at the races, another final exam finished and conquered. He was nearly there; he just needed to hold out a little longer. Blaine walked aimlessly down the hallways; totally cut off from the outside world. He knew he couldn't live like this; he just needed more time to recover. Blaine stopped dead in his tracks as his last thought ringing through his troubled mind: recover. Why had he thought that?

“Recovering... from what?” Blaine sighed miserably. He sounded like he was going through a bad break-up. He needed to get Kurt out of his head and away from his still confused heart. He couldn't afford to act so weak right now, not with his family coming in three days. 

Blaine made his way through the school and out to his dorm room. He would just give himself a couple hours alone and then he'd go off to Church to help out there as planned. If he could relax that is, maybe listening to some music would calm his mind? Blaine stepped inside his dorm room, tossed his book-bag aside and started to go through his CD collection. At first things started out great, Blaine's music choice was doing wonders for his frazzled nerves, that is, until a certain song came on. 

_I feel so extraordinary_  
Something's got a hold on me  
I get this feeling I'm in motion  
A sudden sense of liberty  
I don't care 'cause I'm not there 

It was 'True Faith' by the band New Order; a favourite of his. As Blaine listened to the song, emotions welled up in him. The lyrics had little to no similarities to Blaine, or his life, and yet the words moved him deeply – and to tears. 

_And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow_  
Again and again I've taken too much  
Of the things that cost you too much 

Blaine sat on his bed hugging his knees and he brought his head down to be cradled between them. He couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop the depression building inside him. “I'm so pathetic...” Blaine said. 

_I used to think that the day would never come_  
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun  
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near  
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear 

Eventually Blaine pulled himself out of his crunched up position and pointed his heads upward and to the invisible heavens above. “Somebody save me please,” Blaine pleaded meekly.

Suddenly Blaine felt two hands upon his shoulders and his tightly shut eyes snapped opened to find Kurt there, kneeling over him. Blaine stared at him in bewilderment; like he could only be a mirage – or a dream. But he was really there; Kurt had come back! 

Kurt smiled softly at Blaine, releasing his hold on his shoulders as he straightened himself back up. “Hi,” he breathed. 

_I used to think that the day would never come  
That my life would depend on the morning sun... _

Blaine laughed awkwardly; he was in such a shock that it was hard for him to think, let alone say anything considerate. It didn't help that he'd never seen Kurt look so emotional before, where where his usual barriers? 'None of that matters; he's here... he's really here. You need to say something.' No longer laughing but with tears still in his eyes, Blaine sniffled and smiled back at Kurt hopefully. “Hey,” he said in reply.


	7. Chapter 7

How was it that one human being could break down Kurt's emotional walls just by the power of his smile? Just the sight of Blaine's hopeful little grin was enough to make Kurt choke back tears. He swallowed the rising catch in his throat and thought, _'You can do this Kurt, you owe it to Blaine... and yourself.'_

“It's good to see you, Kurt,” Blaine said. 

“You too,” Kurt whispered back. 

Stalling was not Kurt's intent, he just didn't want to admit to Blaine the reason why he was there, which wasn't to make up. He'd reached his breaking point and now, after Kurt had given himself time to reflect, he had to follow through with that choice. The trouble was, Blaine's handsome face tugged at Kurt's heartstrings, making him wish with all of his heart that it didn't need to turn out this way. What caused Kurt to get on with it was when Blaine showed signs of forcing himself to speak; he always furrowed his eyebrows whenever he pushed himself. 

“Blaine,” Kurt said, raising a hand to stop Blaine from uttering any words of sentiment. “Please let me go first, or else I won't be able to say what I came here to tell you.” 

Blaine's face fell; he got the feeling whatever Kurt planned to tell him wouldn't be pleasant for either of them. His body became tense with anxiety and he shuffled his hands together nervously. Kurt gestured for Blaine to take a seat on the bed and he complied, but Kurt didn't bother to join him there.

Kurt was too edgy to sit still. “I've been keeping something from you Blaine, and that needs to stop. Remember that time when you joked about how you knew that God hadn't actually sent me to you? Well... in a way – a very big one – He actually did...” 

Blaine cocked his head to the side in puzzlement. “What?”

“For this to make sense, I need to tell you what happened to me eleven years ago. I was seventeen at the time and at a rebellious age, but in my case, that didn't even begin to describe the phase I was in. I had thought that the reason I felt so different from others was because I was gay. But when I went off on my own to find a place within the gay community, I still felt like I didn't belong. All of that changed one fateful day though, when a group of ignorant haters cornered me and decided they could beat the gay out of me, or kill me, I'm not sure. Either way, even with my skill in combat they-- wait, there were four of them, so it was hardly a fair fight – got past my defenses and started pounding on me.” 

“As they landed blow after painful blow, something snapped inside of me and my unknown power awoke at last. Power erupted from me, literally Blaine, in my untrained ignorance my hate towards those men fuelled my energy levels and I tore their bodies apart. Turned them right into dust and… it felt good. The unleashing of my seemingly unlimited power couldn't be stopped, even if I knew how to stop it. I nearly leveled the whole town, and the only thing that stopped a widespread massacre was Holy intervention. Three Archangels descended on the scene, no doubt expecting to find a demon going on the warpath. What they found instead was an unhinged youth with powers both angelic and demonic in origin. The demons showed up next, lead by my mother who finally told me the truth; how she'd managed to seduce an angel and kept her physical form long enough to have me. All just so they'd have something to flaunt at their enemies.” 

At least Blaine knew him well enough not to say anything, because any efforts to comfort him would only fall flat. Kurt hated to be coddled, even when no one aside from Blaine had ever tried to before – not there had many chances for that sort of thing. 

“I was in no state of mind to embrace either my angel or demon brethren, not when they were obviously only interested in my power and not me as a person. I told them all to stuff it and went on my snarky way and for a while I managed to evade them. I started to learn on my own how to contain newfound abilities and I self taught myself how to use them to my advantage as well. I travelled around, not staying in one place for very long. Then, as I told you before, I decided I didn't want that life anymore, so I came back here to Washington,” Kurt explained. 

Blaine felt so much compassion for Kurt, whom he knew wasn't telling him about his past to gain sympathy.

“It didn't take too much for be to build somewhat of a life for myself but it was one where I was essentially alone. That was done on purpose though, because I knew that I was far better off on my own for the most part. The only social interactions I considered worth my efforts were sexual in nature and never became even remotely serious. For a while I was content, but unfortunately neither the angels nor the demons had forgotten about me, or the power I possessed. They came to me, again and again, both offering a place in their ranks. I blew them off each time but then the angels got even more persistent and went so far as to suggest that I go through a test of faith, that if I were to pass, it would grant me a position with them – this time as their equal.”

Blaine hadn't spoken so much as a word throughout Kurt's long story but there was no need because his eyes said it all. God, Kurt wished that he didn't have to do this now after seeing how much Blaine cared for him. But there was no helping it, no matter what Blaine had or hadn't done, he deserved to hear the truth.

“You were that test Blaine, I was instructed to help you through your struggles. That's why I started watching you and I went into my assignment with the intention of keeping our exchanges as strictly business. But from the second after I appeared to answer your prayers, right in this very room, my plans changed. You looked so vulnerable and alone and as we started to talk, I just... I couldn't resist you, you drew me in and made me feel special.” 

Blaine stared at Kurt shockingly. “You... I was your assignment?” Blaine said, still in denial. 

“Yes, Blaine,” Kurt confirmed. “I can't change the fact that you were my assignment first and my friend second... nor do you have any reason to believe me when I say that... you became so much more than anything I could have thought Blaine, so much more. Suddenly I wasn't spending time with you because I had to, it was because I wanted to. I liked being with you, enjoyed talking to you, and came to treasure the moments we spent together, just sharing space and then... that initial like began to grow into something far deeper... into love.” 

Blaine eyes widened. He could barely register what Kurt had just said. “You love me?” Blaine breathed. 

Kurt nodded. “I do and I think I have from the beginning. I was just too naive when it came to the matters of the heart to realize. Our friendship became so important to me that I ignored the signs that things were getting too out of hand. I stopped caring about any consequences that could happen by not wanting to admit the truth. I just... wanted to be with you Blaine, all of the time. I wanted to be your whole world. And most of all, I wanted you to love me back. I got selfish... and possessive over you, I didn't want to share you with anyone, God most of all...” 

“Kurt... I...” Blaine attempted to say, only for Kurt to raise his hand up. 

“Please let me finish Blaine and then I'll let you have your turn,” Kurt said. 

Blaine nodded his head and whispered, “Okay.” 

“I was so happy when you kissed me. In that moment I thought, finally, Blaine's made the right choice. I wanted to make you just as happy as you made me, I wanted so many things... and I expected a bunch too. All the while I never stopped to think about what you wanted, or how you might feel. No, I was too swept in my own wants and needs that I didn't even consider yours. To sum it up: I was an inconsiderate self-adsorbed asshole, Blaine, and I am sorry for that. After our fight I was angry for a long while and I kinda… wanted to stay angry with you. We both know how stubborn I can be. Eventually I had to accept and acknowledge the mistakes I'd made, if I had any hope to be able to face you again,” Kurt explained. He took a gingerly step towards Blaine but stop himself right before he was in reach -- too close and yet so still far away.

“It's time I accept the cold heart truth, Blaine; that you can never return my feelings. You chose God long before you met me even. It's time for me to respect your choice and not resent you for it. Just because I love you doesn't mean that you wanting to be a priest still is wrong. If that's what you really want, then I have no right to try to stop you,” Kurt said, powering through his building emotions. “Blaine, what I'm trying to say is... I can't do this anymore. You were right when you said that you don't need my help. So it's time for me to go, before I end up hurting you anymore than I already have.” 

Blaine bolted up from his spot on the couch in alarm and blurted, “You can't leave me!” 

“Blaine, I am begging you! Try to see where I am coming from; I don't want to end up resenting you. So please Blaine, please, if you care for me at all – even as just a friend – then please just let me go. You have your life to live and I have mine. I believe in you and how you'll find what you're looking for, even without my help... but it's not going to me, Blaine. It's time for me to move on, we can't go backwards.” 

Blaine found himself faced with the most difficult decision, one he'd never thought he would have to make. He knew he had to give Kurt the respect he deserved, it was the only option: it was time for him to let go. Even if the void in him since Kurt had broken their connection never went away, he would just have to learn to live with it. 

“What about the angels?” Blaine dared to ask. “They won’t be amused with you dropping your assignment just like that.” 

“Fuck the angels Blaine, I'll deal with them if and when the time comes. You're not just an assignment to me okay, I want you to be happy.” 

“I want you to be happy too, Kurt.” 

Kurt smiled weakly and said, “I know.” 

There was no other way. This was their goodbye. Blaine opened his hands to Kurt, who took what Blaine could offer and hugged him. Blaine held Kurt's body close to his, just for a moment before he pulled back. Kurt ways crying, so was he, and he couldn't tell if their were tears were bittersweet or from utter sadness. “Best of luck in life,” Blaine said, cheesy but it would have to do. 

Kurt laughed awkwardly. He shuddered as he fought to keep his crying under control. In a moment’s weakness, Kurt brought his face closed to Blaine and kissed him softly. He made sure to keep the caress short and sweet, though when it was over Kurt didn't feel much better. 

“Goodbye, Blaine,” he breathed softly. 

Blaine took a step backwards. “Goodbye...” he began, but Kurt's figure faded from view before the word 'Kurt' escaped his lips, “… my friend…” Blaine finished.   
________________________________________________________________________

“Wow Kurt, you sure fucked up big time with priest boy,” Santana taunted. 

Kurt snarled at his cousin, who had appeared right when Kurt was putting a small pack together in his apartment. He should have known better that he could leave town without someone from the higher ups – or in Santana's case it was the opposite – showing up. It could be worse Kurt supposed, Quinn could be there too. 

_'Fuck please don't let that happen,_ ' he thought with a shudder. 

Kurt hissed, “You do not want to push me right now, Santana.”

Santana rolled her eyes at Kurt and she leaned down beside him to get into his personal space. “Try me, drama queen.” 

Kurt clenched his fist and without warning, punched Santana square in the chest and the amount of power Kurt had put into the blow sent her flying backwards onto her ass. 

Santana swore as she stood back up and glared at him accusingly. “You fucking bastard! You punched me in the boob!” she bellowed. 

“Well it was right there in my face,” Kurt threw back. 

“Okay yeah, you can pack a mean punch. Big deal,” Santana said. “But there's no point in attacking me when I'm not the one who you're really pissed at, Cuz. You only have yourself to blame too, 'cause you're the one who was stupid enough to fall for a human. That is so pathetic, Kurt, even for you. What you should have done was fucked Blaine back when you had the chance and ya know, used him for all of his worth and then dumped his sorry ass. Forget saving him, like any of those inferior insects deserve our help. This is what happened when you involve yourself with angels Kurt, they are nothing but trouble,” Santana said. 

Kurt just rolled his eyes during Santana's long-winded rant. “Are you done?” he asked flatly. 

Santana, who was still massaging her now tender right breast, threw her cousin and fake hurt look. Only Kurt wasn't in the mood for jokes – not that he ever was – so she stopped her usual tactics to push his buttons.

“Where are you even going?” she said. 

“Anyway from here and as far away from you as I can possibly get,” Kurt muttered. 

“So you're turning tail? You?” 

“Call it what you like, because I _really_ don't give a shit.” 

“Wow, have you ever changed, Kurt.” 

“Have I? That's funny because I still feel like I'm the same abrasive man I've always been. The only one who's acting different is you Santana, you and your fellow demons. Why is it that all of a sudden the idea of a rogue half-breed running around unattended bothers you so much that you won't leave me alone? You spent the past twenty-eight years acting like I didn't exist, so what's the deal here? Is it because you're afraid that I'll eventually side with the angels? Well then, if that's the case allow me to put your minds at ease. I won't be doing that, just like I am never going to join your ranks either. I'm choosing the only person who even remotely cares about my well being--” 

“Blaine?” Santana said, her wry smile showing that she had interrupted him intentionally. 

“Myself,” Kurt snapped. 

Santana circled around Kurt while he stuffed another shirt into his backpack and snorted at him in amusement. “You seriously think that either of us is going to let you go off on your own? There is no third option; it's either choose sides or be annihilated. So what's it gonna be, Kurt? Are you gonna beg the angels for another assignment, or are you gonna go hit the bars with me, find some hot ass to fuck and then to make it a great night, go join winning side?” 

Kurt stood up and shot Santana the most defiant look he could manage, getting up nice and close to invade her personal space. “You can tell Lucifer that he can go fuck himself,” he whispered in her ear. 

Her patience gone, Santana threw her arms dramatically in the air to signal her defeat. “Fine then. But the reason I'm gonna let you go is because I wanna watch when you're ass is brought down.” 

That was it, Kurt was so done with his shitty life that he didn't want to remain for a second longer. Without any hesitation, Kurt shifted out of physical form and went to the one place no one, not even Santana, could follow him to. Off in his own space, Kurt assured himself that he had no plan of hiding there forever. He would rest for a moment and once his energy levels were back, he'd set off to find somewhere new to live, somewhere that was better suited for his needs.  
________________________________________________________________________  

Out of everyone in Blaine's family, he'd always felt closest to his brother Cooper, who was ten years his senior. Despite their age gap, the two understood each other very well. They'd both been raised by the same parents and that meant there was a lot they could relate to. Cooper had become a successful leader of a software company and even when he was kept busy with work, he'd managed to find a wife and start a family. 

Unfortunately what that meant for the pair of brothers is that Cooper had little to no time to spare for Blaine anymore. The last time they'd seen one another in person was close to two years ago. Blaine didn't resent him for that though, since he knew it wasn't purposely done, life just went that way sometimes. College was hectic enough for Blaine in addition, but as he found himself sitting with Cooper for the first time in years, he felt quite disconnected from him. 

“How's Joshua doing these days?” Blaine asked, referring to Cooper's four-year-old son. 

“He's growing like a weed and looking more like his mother every day,” Cooper said boastfully. “He and Courtney really wanted to come, but we couldn't manage it I'm afraid, so sorry about that Blaine. As soon I can, I'll invite you over for a long weekend, okay?” 

Blaine smiled at his brother. He was glad he'd had the idea for them to go out to dinner just by themselves. “I'd really like that a lot. I could use a good break,” he said. 

Cooper raised a curious brow at Blaine. “I know we haven't had much time to talk Blaine, but if there's anything you want to say to me then just go ahead and say it. This is me we're talking about, you've always been able to come to me when you're going through stuff. Or you used to. Blaine, please tell me what's going on because you look like a guy who's had his heartbroken,” Cooper admitted to Blaine. 

Blaine's straw fell out of his mouth in surprise. He thought he was being so careful to hide his true feelings. Heck, he'd managed to push his thoughts about Kurt aside to ace his last final exam, so he thought he was doing really well in his attempts to move on. Now he wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe, just maybe, he could admit some things to Cooper and it would be okay. 

“I um... am I that obvious?” Blaine asked, stalling for more time. 

“Not really, I mean, I noticed but Mom and Dad have no idea,” Cooper said. 

Blaine breathed, “Oh, thank goodness.” 

Cooper smiled at his brother. “Blaine, you know it's not too late to change your mind about entering the priesthood. Not if you're having second thoughts... or if you've met someone who you've developed feelings for... like a girl from church or school...” Cooper said in attempts to gently coax the truth out of his baby brother. 

“There isn't anyone like that in my life,” Blaine muttered back. 

“What about a boy then?” 

Blaine gaped at Cooper; he couldn't believe that his brother had just said. “And what do you mean by asking me that!”

“I'm just asking what our parents were always too afraid to ask themselves. Not that there's been any reason for them to worry about it. As far as they're concerned you were just going through a phase back then, so they believed you when you told them you honestly wanted to become a priest and left it at that. I've always regretted not being there for you when you were going through all of that, Blaine. I should have tried harder to be more available, so you'd have someone you could share your feelings with. I can't go back and change the past, but I'm here for you now Blaine, you are not alone in this. Don't shut me away; talk to me....” 

Here was a chance for Blaine to properly define what Kurt was to him and hopefully if he admitted it to Cooper, he could finally come accept it. “There was a guy... his name's Kurt, we became friends and we started spending a lot of time together. It was nice, I felt like I could really be myself around him. But he was only ever just a friend Cooper. Yes Kurt is gay and out but that shouldn't mean that the two of us couldn't remain friends,” Blaine explained. 

“I get the feelings that something changed?” Cooper said. 

“I kissed him one night, I didn't mean to but I couldn't help myself,” Blaine whispered, his voice full of shame. 

“Blaine, you might be surprised to hear this coming from me, but I don't think being gay is a bad thing. Not if that's who you are. I know what we've been taught and I won't argue that our folks won't freak out big time. But the world is changing, albeit slowly, and progress is still being made. I still have my faith, and I’m sure that the God I believe in wouldn't turn away from you if you are gay, Blaine.” 

Despite Cooper's touching words, Blaine was still stuck too deep in denial to admit what was deep inside his heart. “It doesn't matter if I'm gay or not, I can never act on my feelings, whatever they are. Being a priest is my calling Cooper, it's what I'm meant to be. What happened with Kurt was a sign, and I cannot let it happen again. I'm not meant to share my life with anyone but God, and that's okay, because it means I'll never be alone.” 

“Blaine...” 

“It's not like I'm throwing my life away, Coop, I get to share God's word and teach His values to others...” 

“Even if those others are forsaken homosexuals?” Cooper challenged. 

Blaine sighed; how could he explain his views to Cooper so he finally understood. “With any luck, maybe I can let those archaic beliefs change into something far more open-minded. You said it yourself, the world is changing Cooper and I want to do what I can to help that change happen.” 

“What about Kurt?” 

“He's gone. He left to go find where he belongs,” Blaine vaguely explained. “This is where I belong Cooper. Four years from now, I will take my vows and become the man who I was born to be: a man of the cloth.” 

Cooper reached out to touch Blaine's hand. “Are you sure, little bro?” 

“Yeah, I'm sure,” Blaine said. To himself he added, _'Because I have to be.'_

They hugged it out – brothers style – and Cooper refused to let go until Blaine assured him he was going to be okay. Cooper relaxed after that and the remainder of their dinner proved to be quite enjoyable. The void left by Kurt wasn't magically gone, but Blaine did feel somewhat better now that he'd shared things with Cooper. 

On the walk back to the hotel, Blaine stopped in his tracks, and when Cooper noticed he wasn't beside him anymore he asked, “What's up?” 

Blaine's eyes narrowed as he scanned the area around him, as if he were looking for someone. “I feel like someone is watching me,” he muttered apprehensively. Who could it be? Blaine knew who he wanted it to be: Kurt. Was he out there somewhere in the crowd – just beyond his view? Blaine's hopes were quickly doused when his eyes fell on a pretty blonde girl, who was starting straight at him. 

“Someone you know?” 

Blaine shook his head; there was something about her intense look that put Blaine on edge. “No, I've never seen her before.”

The blonde studied him for a moment longer before turning away from him and she disappeared into the crowd. Blaine was left feeling dazed and confused, like the girl had looked right through him, all the way to his mourning soul.  
________________________________________________________________________  

Pupils studying to be priests normally didn't wear the famous collar they were known for until their vows were taken, so Blaine wasn't used to the stiff fabric against his neck. He pulled awkwardly at the front of his formal graduation shirt to make it more comfortable somehow. 

“Blaine, stop fussing,” his mother chided. 

Blaine sighed, “I'm not trying to...” 

Grace Anderson rolled her eyes, albeit playfully as she came over to fix her son's collar for him. She smiled at him warmly, beaming with pride. “You look so handsome, Blaine,” she said. 

“Considering that's he's becoming a priest in four years, I don't know if that's a good thing,” Cooper teased from behind her. 

“Oh, don't you start Cooper, not on such a special day for us as a family. Blaine's graduating, he's one step closer to making his dreams a reality,” said Grace, who was already welling up with emotions and risking to cry tears of joy. 

“Mom, you're making too big of a deal of this,” Blaine mumbled embarrassingly. 

“Let your mother have this one Blaine, and I'm just as proud for the record. The foundation you've laid out for yourself is something you will benefit from for the rest of your life,” Jonathan said to his son. 

At one point Blaine hearing such words of praise from his parents would have filled him with warm contentment, but instead it left him feeling hollow inside. Blaine didn't want to consider the reason for this, not on today of all days. With a smile forced upon his face, Blaine simply diagnosed his current state to be nothing more than pre-graduation jitters. To further put himself at ease, Blaine told himself that everything, all of his lingering doubts, fears and insecurities would pass in time. It was a big claim, but then, Blaine was that much in denial. 

Per usual, Blaine's family was clueless to Blaine's inner struggles and after sharing a few more words of encouragement, Cooper and their parents headed off to take the seats for the ceremony. Alone, Blaine let out a long sigh. There wasn't much time left for him to linger; pretty soon he needed to go join his fellow graduates. He had every intention to, Blaine assured himself, he just needed a moment to give his appearance one quick look over. If he weren't careful the many photos his family would surely take tonight could turn into a total disaster. 

Blaine hurried along to the bathroom and was relieved to see no one else was there. He went to the mirror and planted his hands on the white-rimmed sink in the middle. With no one there to see him, Blaine's demeanour began to crumble and match how he felt on the inside. He took a deep breath as he brought his hand to his chest. Why was his heart beating to so fast? There was no reason for him to be this nervous. All he had to do was wait for his name to be called, walk across the stage to get him diploma and walk off it again. Easy as pie. 

“If only...” Blaine muttered tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

He took another breath as he brought his face up to look in the mirror and the person he saw in his reflected wasn't the least bit recognizable. Blaine's eyes were puffy, red and had bags under them, while his mouth hung down in a permanent frown and his posture was limp and droopy even. If that weren't bad enough, the usual gleam in Blaine's eyes was nowhere to be found. Blaine broke down crying at the sight of himself. He looked so pitiful; like there wasn't an ounce of happiness left in him. Blaine's body shook uncontrollably and he ran his hands down his face. Thank God no one was around to see him like this – he couldn't even bare the thought. 

“What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so broken?” Blaine said under his breath. 

Blaine's mind started to run wild, and thought after though entered his mind -- broken-broken-up-heartache-break-up-relationship – on and on until it came to one single conclusion: I miss Kurt. He missed seeing Kurt's smile, hearing his musical voice, he missed having him in his life. 

He closed his eyes and turned his heads upwards and when he opened them back up he stared at the ceiling. “God, if I were finally able to admit that I care deeply about Kurt, that I might even be in love with him, would that make me a bad person?” 

Of course there was no answer, so Blaine was left to figure things out on his own. He splashed cold water onto his face, as if that could shock his senses enough to come to his senses, but all that did was make him wet and miserable. 

Blaine sighed, “I don't want to live like this anymore.” No more days filled with an unbearable depression, no more denial, no more locking away his pain: he was so sick of it all. What could he do to stop it though? Hadn't Blaine spent an entire dinner ensuring Cooper that this was what he wanted to do? Now was not the time to get cold feet all of a sudden. Blaine glanced at the door, he was supposed to go to his graduation ceremony – the last four years of his life had been for this very day. It was time for him to continue forward and towards his chosen path. He would go out there with his head held high. 

“Oh, who am I kidding,” Blaine muttered. At the rate he was going, Blaine doubted he could even manage a smile – of any sort. 

It was as if meeting Kurt had reawakened a part of himself he had tried to forget, and as their connection grew, that part routed itself deep inside of Blaine, but now that Kurt was gone, it was dying off and leaving a unbearable emptiness in its wake. If Kurt had meant nothing to him, then perhaps he could have walked out of the bathroom without a fight. Instead he just stood still and said out loud a question that refused to go away.

“Christianity teaches us about forgiveness, but will anyone forgive me if I were to throw my future aside for a man?” 

Muttering to himself would get him nowhere though, so Blaine tried to think what Kurt would say if he were there to hear him whine. The answer – in the form of a mental image – came easily to Blaine, who in his head imagined that Kurt would say something along the lines of, 'Who gives a fuck if people will forgive you or not, Blaine. It's your life; it's your happiness that's on the line. Don't let anyone, not your parents, not your teachers, not even the Lord All Mighty push you around. It's up to you, Blaine, you and you alone.' 

Just the idea of Kurt saying that to him, in his snarky yet still caring voice – was enough to make Blaine laugh. His reflection caught his attention again as he noted the little grin on his face. Just the thought of Kurt, wonderful, compassionate and amazing Kurt, who was his best friend in the world, was enough to make him smile. Seeing the proof on his face brought on a total moment of clarity, where he could finally accept what his heart had been trying to tell him all along: he loved Kurt – with all of his being. Blaine's joy was short lived though, because as incredible as it felt for him to finally accept the truth, his epiphany had come too late. Kurt was gone, and Blaine had no idea where he could be or how to contact him. Ever since Kurt had cut their connection Blaine couldn't feel him anymore – he was just gone. 

That didn't stop Blaine from speaking his mind though. 

“Kurt, I miss you so much. I wish you could hear me... I wish I could feel you. I'd even take us being at level one right now,” Blaine said out loud. “How about it God? Could you just give me a hand? Just this once?” 

The minutes went by and Blaine waited for something to happen, a sign, anything, but it never came. Utterly defeated, Blaine walked out of the bathroom and out into the hallway. He wasn't sure what to do. Could he really go through his graduation knowing what he knew now? Maybe after the ceremony was over he could talk to Cooper first and let that help him gather enough courage to seriously rethink his life. Yes, he owed himself that at least. 

Blaine started to make his way to the correct area until he caught the hint of something that caused him to stop dead in his tracks. 

_'Kurt?'_ he called out. 

No, there was just no way, he had to be imagining things. Blaine was so emotional he had just thought he could feel Kurt's presence for a moment. That was it. But what if he had? What if Kurt was close? He suddenly felt it again: weak little tendrils stretching towards him in the back of his mind, so faint that he could barely register them. But there was no mistaking who it was, it was Kurt! Blaine bolted forwards, not towards the auditorium but out of the main building and down a familiar street. Blaine kept on running, darting through the people on the sidewalk, barely holding himself at bay as he waited until the walk light changed. He sprinted up the stairs of Kurt's apartment and nearly fell over as he cleared the last one. _'Please let him be there; don't let it be too late for us.'_


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt knew it was weak of him but before leaving Washington D.C. for good, he wanted to check in on Blaine. Just to make sure he was okay, so Kurt had very carefully stretched his mind out to find him. He'd made sure that it was so subtly done that Blaine wouldn't feel it himself, but that meant Kurt really could only confirm his location and not much else. So there was no hint of emotion, nothing that would give him any clue to his state of mind. Kurt did know that today was the day of Blaine's graduation though, so it made sense that he would be on campus. Good for him, he was where he was supposed to be. As for himself, Kurt was ready to relocate; he'd only returned back to his apartment to start the trying process of packing up all of his belongings. 

Kurt heard a knock at the door and he frowned in confusion; who could that be? 

“Oh no, please don't it be either of _them_ ,” he muttered, shuddering at the thought. Knocking didn't seem like Quinn or Santana's style though. Perhaps it was the Super coming to check to see when Kurt planned to move out officially? When Kurt opened the door, it was none of those people and his mind went blank. No, it wasn't possible; he had to be a mirage. 

Kurt staggered backwards at the sight of the last person he'd ever expect to see standing there at his door. “Blaine? What are you doing here?” he shouted in disbelief. “Isn't your graduation ceremony starting soon?”

Blaine smiled at him giddily; as if he could barely contain his excitement. “None of that matters, not anymore. It stopped mattering to me when I felt you in my head just now, Kurt. I thought I would never see you again and I couldn't live with that though, so I ran all the way here,” he explained through his tired panting. 

Kurt's eyes crinkled up as he fought the urge to cry. He took a deep breath, shuddered and smiled weakly back at Blaine. “I so desperately wanted to be over you, Blaine. I kept telling myself that I had to forget about you... that it wasn't meant to be. I was going to get away from this place and start a new life but in the end... I just had to feel you one last time,” he said softly. 

Blaine was near tears himself. He inched towards Kurt, who didn't back away. “I'm so glad you did Kurt, because it brought us together again,” he said, taking Kurt's hand in his.

While Kurt was touched beyond words, there was something else he'd much rather do than crying uncontrollably. So instead of that, Kurt grinned flirtatiously at Blaine and in a saucy tone he said, “Not quite.” 

Hearing the oozing sensual undertones in Kurt's voice made Blaine shudder but he was quick to recover. He took Kurt's little hint and moved close in on Kurt and kissed him full on the mouth – because that's what he thought Kurt's comment had meant. Whether it did or not, Kurt's body swung back from the force Blaine came at him with but he quickly bounced forward again to kiss Blaine back eagerly. Pleasure jolted through Blaine's body, lighting it a blaze with passion. He only managed to keep his libido in check because he had yet to confess his love directly to Kurt. They kissed for a second time, then a third and were going onto their fourth kiss when Kurt pulled his head back and out of reach. Blaine was left feeling dazed, confused and sexually frustrated and he wasn't enjoying any of it. 

“What's wrong, Kurt?” Blaine whispered, confused. Now that they'd stopped kissing, Blaine couldn't deny the fact that the energy between them felt slightly off.

Kurt quickly kissed Blaine to wipe the silly scowl off his face. “Oh don't you worry yourself, Blaine, you were doing well, great even. It's just... there's something missing still.” 

So Kurt had felt it too then, but Blaine refused to let that dampen the romantic atmosphere. Maybe he just meant how no 'I love you' had been said yet. “Any idea what that is?” Blaine asked, hoping Kurt wouldn't actually make him guess. 

Kurt nodded and brought both of their entwined hands up in front of them and laced their fingers together lovingly. “We're together Blaine, but not connected,” he said. 

At first Blaine didn't know what Kurt was getting at because he for one felt very emotionally connected. He could feel the love between them as well, even if there had been no official confession yet. Was it that Kurt did want him to tell him that he loved him? Because if that was it, Blaine was extremely willing to, except that just saying it outright seemed too small of a gesture. 

“You're so cute when you get nervous Blaine, but in lieu of our new start... I'll just tell you what I mean, but just this once. The link that connected us is still broken Blaine, and if I have your blessing, I'd very much like to fix that.” 

Blaine's head bobbed down in amused affection. Kurt chuckled with him, already in-tune with Blaine despite that their link was still severed. “Say no more Kurt, reconnect us. Please,” he said urgently. 

First Kurt leaned into kiss Blaine and after his lips’ lingered for a pleasurable moment, Kurt shifted his physical form so he could enter Blaine's consciousness. Kurt felt like he had come home after a long journey. 

_'It's nice to have you back,'_ Blaine said to Kurt, who had already gone to level two. 

_'It's nice to be back Blaine; I really missed this – missed you being with me no matter where I was.'_

_'This just one of the many things I love about us Kurt, though I will admit it is pretty great.'_

_'And we're not even down yet.'_

_'What do you mean?'_

Blaine waited for Kurt to explain, but he seemed to be stalling – for whatever unknown reason. If he weren't so nervous about just how he should confess his love to Kurt then Blaine would have felt more patient. 

_'Blaine, you still trust me right?'_

_'Of course I do, Kurt,'_ Blaine said, like he had to ask. 

_'I want to go to level one.'_

Anxiety forced its way into Blaine's mind. What should he do? On the one side, Blaine wanted to share everything with Kurt: his wildest dreams, his biggest fears and most of all – how much he loved Kurt but on the other hand, he wasn't all that comfortable with Kurt hearing his unfiltered thoughts at the moment. Not when his mind was jumbled with so much love and uncontrolled emotion he could barely keep everything separate – let alone under control. What if some stupid throwaway thought got in the way? 

_'You can say no,'_ Kurt said. 

Just the fact that Kurt was giving him the option to decline made Blaine's mind up for him on the spot. That and how if they went to level one it would give him the perfect way to express his feelings and where he couldn't mess up his words. 

_‘No it's okay. I trust you, so go ahead Kurt, you have my blessing.'_

_'You sure?'_ Kurt asked, as if he wasn't yet himself. 

This was it, Blaine needed to share his feelings for Kurt and not a moment later -- he was ready. 

_'Completely.'_

As soon as he felt Kurt's presence strengthen, he willed himself to forget that Kurt could hear his every thought. The only thing that mattered was reaching for Kurt with all of his love and affection, essentially pouring all of his emotions into him. Everything flowed through him like a floodgate, all of his anguish over missing Kurt, how he felt like a piece of his heart was missing. Memories mixed in with those emotions, like when the moment finally hit Blaine that he did love Kurt and he didn't want to let him go. The warmth inside of Blaine grew faint and for a second and he worried that Kurt was purposely retreating. What there something he'd missed? Some lingering thought that was scaring Kurt away? No. For all of his moments of doubt this was one time when Blaine knew there was no second guessing – he'd made the right choice. 

_'It's nothing like that Blaine, I was just so overwhelmed by your messages of love, so to speak, that it almost knocked me back all the way to level three. I managed to hold on though, thankfully, because I can't get enough of this... feeling these wonderful emotions of yours, and each one is more touching than the next. Blaine, in all of my secret yearnings, I never imagined you loved me so much,'_ Kurt said weakly as his emotional integrity started to fluctuate. 

Blaine would never get a more perfect moment than this, so he took it without hesitation.

_'I love you Kurt, by so much. I know there's little need for me to say it now but I still want to. I can't begin to say how sorry I am that it took me almost losing you to realize how much I need you in my life. But if meeting and falling in love with you has taught me anything, it's that regretting past mistakes is a honest waste of time,' Blaine said, pausing to take a deep breath. ‘And what truly matters is that we make use of the time we still have and I know now that what I want... is to spend my life loving you Kurt, if you're willing to have me,'_ Blaine confessed at long last. 

Kurt would have cried real tears if he had a physical body to do so, but in his current state all he could do was let out a muffled sob. It was the most beautiful words Kurt had heard anyone say to him. Nobody, not one single person had ever made him felt so safe and loved. 

_'I love you too. I think I loved you since the moment I first saw you... I was just too stubborn to realize it. I was so bent on remaining alone I didn't know the value of loving another person and what a gift it could be...'_ Kurt said, until he realized he was going off topic. Blaine had asked him a very important question that deserved a proper answer. 

Kurt sighed, 'Sorry, there I go getting side tracked again.' He really wished he could hug Blaine about now, or kiss him. But that would have to wait because he liked how strong their connection was at level one to give that up just yet. _'Of course I'll take you Blaine, for forever and a day.'_

Blaine's thoughts were very close to the surface and while a little jumbled, there was no denying the joy Blaine felt from hearing Kurt's words. He was happy, grateful, relieved and touched all at once and that was only the tip of the iceberg. 

_'So this makes us boyfriends now right?'_ Blaine asked. 

_'Yes it does Blaine, but are you ready to have a angel-demon hybrid as your boyfriend?'_

_'It's who you are Kurt, and it's why we came together. That's a yes if you weren't sure.'_

_'Oh good,'_ Kurt said playfully. 

It was quite the romantic moment and yet Kurt felt like something was missing still. But what? They had told each other their heartfelt confessions, confirmed that they loved one another and defined their relationship even, so what was left? 

_'Kurt.'_

Unease flickered in of Blaine, thoughts along the lines of 'Should I ask him?' and then 'what if it's too soon?'. Kurt smiled at him lovingly – pretending not to hear his personal thoughts this time. 

_'Hmm?'_

_'Can I hold you?'_

Right. That had to be it: good old fashion physical contact. Kurt was about to retreat from Blaine's mind when he heard something that made him stop. A series of thoughts that were so pushed back in Blaine's mind that it would have been easy for Kurt to miss. 

_'I wish I could tell how Kurt is feeling right now. I know he loves me, but... we're so different, heck, he's not even human! What can I even offer someone like him? Will my love be enough?'_

Kurt felt like an idiot! That's what was missing; Blaine didn't know what Kurt's true feelings were, because they were still safely hidden behind his emotional walls. Shame on Kurt for not realizing sooner. It was clear to Kurt what he needed to do: take a page from Blaine's book and share his feelings, all of them, the good and the bad. 

_'In a minute Blaine, there's something I need to do first. Prepare yourself best you can, because you're about to received quite the eye-opener,'_ Kurt warned cryptically. 

All at once and before Blaine could ask Kurt what he meant, a tidal wave of emotion crashed into him. At first he had no idea what was going on, even with Kurt's little warning, but then he noticed how none of these new feelings were his own – they were Kurt's. It was amazing but Kurt's normally impenetrable barriers had been brought down, making it possible for Blaine to feel Kurt's emotions and to his surprise, hear his thoughts as well. Though it took some getting used to before Blaine could decipher Kurt's thoughts from his own. Slowly the differences between them became clearer; and Blaine managed to lock on to Kurt's inner voice. 

_'I love him so much that I'm afraid it's too much. What if I put too much pressure on him? I can't bet my entire happiness on love. Blaine doesn't even know what he's getting himself into by being with me. I can't run away from my origins forever. Neither the angels nor the demons will leave me alone for very long. How can he just trust me so blindly, when I've done nothing to deserve it? I deceived him, I kept my feelings hidden while he went through his struggles. I loved being his anchor. Yet I'm the one who feels a float now. Oh no... I feel guilty.'_ Kurt's thoughts rang through Blaine's mind. 

Whether Kurt had meant these thoughts to seep through or not, Blaine heard them nonetheless and he knew exactly what to do about it. He needed to put Kurt's mind at ease, but when he was just about to, Kurt's thoughts of doubt were replaced with intense feelings of love, for him, and they rocked Blaine right to his very core. Overwhelmed, Blaine crumbled down to sit on the floor, unable to speak. 

_'Are you all right? It is too much for you?' Kurt asked cautiously. _'I should pull back?'__

_“I'm okay Kurt, you don't need to stop the connection. It's wonderful... but wow... talk about a rush,” Blaine muttered out-loud._

_Relief washed through Kurt, which Blaine felt as well._

__'I was getting worried there for a second,'_ Kurt said. _

__'You shouldn't be, because I'm so glad you did! We needed this Kurt; to be given a way to express our love, and without a doubt. I mean... it's all here: all of your love, emotions and thoughts, are right in my mind. We're connected on such an intimate level right now Kurt, and that's incredible.'_ _

__'I'm glad I went for it then.'_ _

_'So am I, because now there's no way either of us can doubt how much we mean to each other,'_ Blaine pointed out. 

_'Knowing us, we'll doubt our relationship now and then, but that's life for you.'_

It was a magic moment but as much as Blaine loved their deep connection, it still didn't fully compare to having Kurt physically near him. He wanted to hold Kurt while he told him he loved him, that and kiss him of course. No more cowering back in fear of what others may think, Blaine didn't want to deny himself anymore, so he wouldn't. 

_'Can I hold you now? Finally,'_ Blaine impatiently repeated. 

Blaine felt the pinpoint moment when Kurt's presence left him but this time their connection remained in tact. Kurt appeared in front of Blaine with a loving smile on his face and the sight of him caused Blaine to laugh giddily. _'My gosh he is such a sight to behold,'_ Blaine thought to himself as he took a moment to drink in all of Kurt's splendour. 

“Shouldn't we be hugging by now?” Kurt said playfully, re-jogging Blaine's memory lapse caused by his boyfriend's dashing good looks. 

“Oh, right, my mistake,” Blaine replied, sweeping Kurt into his arms. 

Blaine hugged Kurt tightly against his body and the rush that came with it nearly mirrored the same joy he felt when Kurt had set his emotions free. It was different of course but the love felt between them was still the same. Kurt's head was pressed into the side of Blaine's neck and he let out a cute little sigh of contentment. 

At the exact same moment Blaine and Kurt moved their heads back just enough so they could share a long and tender kiss. Blaine clasped the back of Kurt's neck with his right hand, while the left was still circled around Kurt's waist tightly. Kurt's own hands were clinging to Blaine's shoulders; his lips were soft and addictive, his body warm and strong. It felt so good that Blaine felt like he was in Heaven. Pleasure rippled through Blaine's body, and along with it came a yearning so intense that it almost bowled him over. Instead of running from that desire, Blaine chose to embrace it and in consequence their kisses grew far more urgent. 

This was just what Blaine needed; to forget all of the cluttered thoughts in his brain and just give into his attraction to Kurt. After all, he was sure Kurt would be on board for getting to finally explore the physical side of their relationship now that they were officially a couple. But surprisingly, this was not the case and as Blaine kept kissing Kurt over and over, he started to pick up on something – a set of signals Blaine did not expect. Kurt should know how to read a man's body very well and yet, he kept deflecting Blaine's attempts to make out with him. At first Blaine thought that he could be just imagining things but when his attempts to slip in a little tongue didn't go very far, that made his mind up for sure. 

Kurt was intentionally stopping his advances, but why? Was he trying to play it safe? If that were true, his attempts were just making Blaine more sexually frustrated in the end. 

Finally Blaine reached his breaking point and tore his lips away from Kurt, who looked startled and confused by the sudden block. 

“What's wrong? I am going too far?” Kurt said, his eyes full of concern. 

Blaine smirked at Kurt sheepishly. “Actually it's the complete opposite Kurt, I feel like you're not giving me enough.” 

“Oh, and here I thought I was being considerate.” 

“You were and I love you for that Kurt, but you really don't need to hold back on me in this case. I want this as much as you do...” Blaine said. 

Kurt eyed Blaine suspiciously but in a playful sort of way that said to Blaine, 'Why aren't you a clever guy for realizing what I was doing there.' “At least, I think you want it as much as I do... feel free to tell me if I'm wrong though,” Blaine said.

Instead of offering Blaine any verbal assurance, Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine so deeply that he felt like his brain was starting to short circuit from sensory overload. This time Kurt was the one to open Blaine's mouth with his own and use his tongue just enough to make things interesting. The surge of pleasure jump-started Blaine confidence enough that he dipped Kurt backwards as he got into the swing of things. Wow. Blaine had to hand it to Kurt; he sure knew how to kiss!

“Now that I've made my intentions quite clear, I need to be serious for a moment, so please humour me, Blaine. I'll try to be quick... at least with the talking and hopefully nothing else...” Kurt hurriedly babbled. “Oh, there I go off on a flirting rant, there is no stopping me sometimes, especially when you're involved...” 

Blaine was tempted to kiss Kurt just as a way to get him to shut up. He loved Kurt and his tendency to ramble when he was excited about something but now was so not the time. If Blaine had any hope of convincing Kurt just how badly he wanted Kurt, then he needed to keep himself good and revved up. 

For once Blaine caught a lucky break when Kurt realized what he was doing and put a stop to his chatter-spree on his own. 

“Sorry 'bout that, so moving right along... about the matter on what my body wants and if my mind agrees: basically, I'm at a moral standstill on that front...” 

Blaine scrunched his face up in confusion. “Sorry, what?” 

Kurt chuckled lightly and brought his hand to run down his face; apparently amused by his own inability to make proper sense to Blaine. Then he snapped his head back up and gaze at Blaine with so much lust in his eyes that Blaine's heart skipped a beat. 

“Oh don't get me wrong Blaine, I want to have sex with you, really bad, but as much as I want you Blaine, at the same time... it's _you_ , Blaine. You're not just some guy I picked up at the bar who I won't think about again once we put our pants back on. I love you. I want to make you feel good, but even more so I don't want to... push you into doing anything you're not ready for yet.” 

“Aren't I the one who should know what I want and don't want, Kurt? What do I need to do to put you at ease? Because I am touched beyond words that you care about me so much that you put your own desire aside, but there's honestly no need for such a noble sacrifice,” Blaine said. 

“I want this to be a night for us to remember, Blaine...” 

“It will be Kurt, trust me. I think we deserve to act on our feelings in the most intimate way we can, wouldn't you agree?” 

Blaine was so close to assuring Kurt that he was ready that he could almost taste it. To that end, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and teased his lips with sweet little kisses until those kisses changed into something far more passionate. As if to test Blaine’s credibility, Kurt snarled possessively and grabbed onto the sides of his face to pull his lips within reach again. Kurt kissed Blaine so deeply that Blaine almost toppled backwards in shocked delight. Mind reeling, the competitive side of Blaine urged him to retaliate and the kiss he gave Kurt in response was beyond impressive.

“This is so fucking hot,” Kurt panted heavily with fluttering eyes. 

“Need a moment to clear your head?” 

“Fuck that!” Kurt swore, mashing their lips together. 

During their intense make out, the lip-locked pair slowly advanced towards Kurt's bedroom without even realizing. They remained happily oblivious of their movements right until Blaine's legs hit the edge of the bed and they were sent flying onto it. Blaine went 'oof' as his back hit the mattress, but there was no time for him to react because Kurt landed on top of him next. Startled but still giddy and wildly turned on, Blaine batted his eyes at Kurt in attempts to give him a clear 'come hither' look. 

It worked. Blaine found himself being pinned to the bed by Kurt and he wouldn't let himself rest for a second either; he was forever on the move. Blaine’s hands groped and stroked his Kurt’s sides as he kissed Blaine again and again, causing his boyfriends’ brain to go all fuzzy and numb. 

“Lord All mighty,” Blaine muttered under his breath, he usually never said the Lord's name in vain but he couldn't help it. 

Something snapped inside of Kurt, something aggressive and since Blaine seemed to like it so far, he kept going with that approach, still minding not to cross a line since Blaine was a little rusty sex-wise. Kurt came to lie on top of Blaine fully, using the body contact to make their heavy kissing even more stimulating. Blaine arms encircled Kurt's waist again, running up and down his back as he kissed Kurt passionately. 

It was all going well until Kurt frowned in annoyance; what the hell was scratching his neck? It couldn't be Blaine's face because it was cleanly shaven as ever. He brought his right hand up to investigate and the culprit was soon discovered: it was the stiff collar of Blaine's shirt. 

“I swear this stupid collar was designed this way so there would be no easy access to what's underneath,” Kurt grumbled. 

“Here, let's work together to get it off,” Blaine said as they both sat up to get a better angle. 

There was little need for Blaine to help though, not with Kurt's skillful fingers and it wasn't long before he unhooked the clasps in the back. Once freed Blaine was quick to throw his entire shirt up over his head and with Kurt's aid, he pulled it off. Kurt glanced at the shirt now in his hand, turned his nose up at it and threw it to the floor, causing Blaine to laugh at the dramatic display. Gosh he loved Kurt so much. But his new boyfriend was still far too overdressed for what they both had in mind. To fix that, Blaine lunged at Kurt and set to work undoing the buttons down the front of his shirt. It took a few attempts but he finally finished the last one and peeled the garment off of Kurt's chest and arms. 

That left only their undershirts to take care of, as far as their upper bodies went and Blaine for one wasn't a fan of layers at the moment. Kurt eyed him mischievously as Blaine came over and kissed him, nonchalantly grabbing the bottom hem of Kurt's undershirt and pulling it upwards. Never one to be outdone, Kurt batted Blaine’s hands away to tear off his own shirt and then he made quick work of Blaine's next. Finally topless and with the sexual tension between them climbing upwards again, the pair came together in a fit of passion. 

Heart pounding, Blaine wrestled with Kurt on the bed as they rolled around together. Kissing Kurt felt like Heaven on Earth, for lack of a better phrase. Even more so when Kurt's hands found their way to his waist and slipped down inside the front of his pants. The contact made Blaine's body shudder with pleasure, causing him to nip the side of Kurt's neck in delight. 

“Now you're talking, Blaine,” Kurt gasped. 

Blaine moaned in response; it was hardly witty but then, with Kurt's hand still down his pants, that was understandable. Blaine grunted as Kurt's hand continued to coax his cock into an erection. At this rate he'd come before their pants were even off. 

“Just take them off,” Blaine barked. 

Kurt's eyes scanned down Blaine's body, stopping at his crotch, and he grinned evilly. “I love it when you get bossy.” 

Kurt had no problem with Blaine giving orders – especially sexual ones -- so he brought his hand back out to unzip the fly of Blaine's pants. The fit was loose enough that Kurt had no real trouble pulling Blaine's pants down his thighs and legs. Blaine started to kick them off when they reached his ankles and soon they were on the floor. 

Back in the swing of things, Blaine's hands soon made way to Kurt's luscious behind, which was still encased in his snug fit pants and Blaine grumbled in annoyance. “Why are you still wearing these!”

“If they're bothering you that much by all means Blaine, you're welcome to take them off of me,” Kurt said. 

Without any further encouragement needed on his part, Blaine got down on his knees, guided Kurt backwards on the bed and brought his shaking hands to Kurt's beckoning waistline. After two clumsy tries Blaine got the top button undone and pulled the zipper down. The extra width didn't add much room to give, thanks to Kurt's taste in skinny jeans, but Blaine's perseverance won in the end. Blaine grinned; at last Kurt's pants were free of his legs and he threw them to the floor to join the rest of their discarded clothes. 

Kurt smirked at Blaine and his 'I'm so proud of myself' little grin. His pants weren't that tight after-all. Good thing that Blaine was cute – and sexy – and it was the latter that Kurt wanted to celebrate the most. But not before he took a moment drinking in Blaine's almost nude state, and judging that Blaine's eyes were already transfixed on Kurt's equally nude torso, he was doing the same. But then, just looking at Blaine in all of his glory would never do.

“I'm gonna touch you now okay? 'Cause I think we've both waited long enough to consummate our relationship,” Kurt said. 

Blaine gulped but still nodded his head in response as he shifted closer to Kurt, who placed his hands upon Blaine's chest gently. That first initial touch was so light that goose bumps formed on Blaine's skin, causing his body to shiver. Which seemed to further encourage Kurt, and he ran his hands down the front of Blaine's body with soft teasing strokes. Amazingly Kurt managed to make the experience even more pleasurable when he started to kiss Blaine's chest. On instinct, Blaine settled himself down on the bed so his back became pressed against the mattress. He licked his lips as he watched Kurt get to work on making him thoroughly aroused.

Kurt simultaneously used his lips and hands to explore every inch of skin until Blaine's moans of pleasure grew louder and occurred more frequently. He continued travelling downwards until his mouth found its way to Blaine's hips and the boxer-briefs that were still covering up his key area. He spent a moment kissing the sides of Blaine's hips as he used his hands to pull down Blaine's final layer of clothing. 

When Kurt's mouth came in contact with his cock, Blaine let out a sharp gasp. The sound didn't interrupt Kurt from his mission thankfully, and he continued to run his tongue along the side of Blaine's shaft. He kissed the tip of the head and then, without any warning, took Blaine's cock half into his mouth. 

“Kurt!” Blaine shouted with pleasure. 

Kurt didn’t reply as his mouth was too full to speak, so he smiled at Blaine and kept running his tongue along along Blaine's cock. 

Blaine gulped down another heavy breath. Years of polite upbringing had made it so Blaine never swore, or ever said the Lord's name in vain, but that meant there wasn't much he could blurt out. Oh my gosh seemed childish and anything else might just make Kurt laugh at him, albeit playfully, but still. 

“Kurt, if you keep doing that for much longer then I'm going to come!” Blaine said, panting under the strain not to. 

Kurt pulled his head back so Blaine's cock slid out of his mouth. He grinned at Blaine and pecked his lips. “Sorry about that. I guess I got a bit carried away there. Though you know Blaine, it's not like you can't be the first one to come,” he said. 

“I know that... it's just... call me a romantic but I want the first time when we come to be a bit more... special?” Blaine muttered, feeling sheepish from how that sounded. “Or at least not until you're naked too!” he added in attempts to save himself. 

Kurt kissed Blaine again. “Done and done!” Then he sat up, hooked his thumbs into the side of his boxer-briefs and pulled them off of his hips in one fluid motion. Finally they were both naked and ready to take the plunge -- to use a bad pun. 

Blaine gazed hungrily up and down Kurt's nude body and he apparently couldn't take it anymore. He pounced on Kurt and in his surprise Kurt let out an embarrassing squeal as they tumbled onto the bed together. Blaine started to kiss Kurt's neck and he wriggled underneath Blaine with pleasure. The temperature was rising – among other things – but as much as Kurt wanted to get on with it and start fucking, he was fine to let Blaine take charge for a spell. 

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine said, as if he needed to constantly validate his feelings with words – even when they were about to have sex.

Kurt would have said 'I love you too' or something along those times if it weren't for the fact that Blaine had lowered himself onto Kurt. Now on top of him with their bodies touching, their cocks started to rub against each other and it the added friction was mind reeling. Kurt wheezed and grunted as Blaine rutted against him; oh god, he wasn't going to make it at this rate. 

“I want you so bad, Kurt,” Blaine murmured. 

“Well then what's stopping you from taking me?” Kurt said impatiently. 

Blaine eyes perked up on the implications of what Kurt might have meant by phrasing his wording like that. “You mean you want me to top?”

“I meant what I said before Blaine, I like to switch it up but I'd love to bottom for you this first time. That way your great return to sex won't have to be so... oh what's a good word to use... so delicately conducted. I'd be more than happy to prep you to be on the receiving end if that's what you want though,” Kurt started to babble. 

“I want to experience it both ways with you Kurt; I want to do it all.” 

“Good to know for the future, now will you please be so kind as to fuck me, Blaine? Before the chance runs out?” Kurt said, pumping Blaine's cock with his hand to keep it hard enough to get to that desired activity. 

“You don't have to ask me twice! So um... where do you keep your condoms and lube?” Blaine questioned. 

Oh right, there was the matter of protection to consider as well, dammit! The last thing Kurt wanted to do was stop for even a second, but he knew there was no forgetting those, at least not lube anyway.

“Here, I'll get them myself, since it will save us time,” Kurt said as he forced himself out from under Blaine so he could go fetch the necessary supplies. He quickly found the lube and the condoms were next but then he considered something. “Actually Blaine, we don't have to use condoms at all really. As it turns out, I am incapable of catching any human diseases. I do use them of course, or I did whenever I had sex with guys because it's not like that's an excuse they'd believe. If you'd prefer us to use them still that's totally fine,” Kurt explained. 

“Forget the condoms then and just bring the lube,” Blaine said without hesitation. 

Blaine's heart pounded in his chest as he watched Kurt quickly return to the bed and got right back on track. Kurt was mindful to warm up the lube in his hand before applying it to Blaine's ready cock, kissing him on the mouth as he slicked it up nice and good. They kissed twice more before Kurt lay down on the bed and beckoned Blaine to follow his lead. Blaine grinned at him provocatively; he was still a bit nervous but not to the point of self-doubt. He wanted this too much for that to happen thankfully. Blaine hovered over Kurt and kissed his lips, trailing his mouth down his boyfriends' neck. After reaffirming their love for one another, Blaine turned his attention to the appropriate area. Blaine was a little rusty but he still knew the importance of prepping, so he set to fingering Kurt teasingly. 

“Oh that feels nice,” Kurt moaned. 

“Just nice?” Blaine said playfully. 

Kurt rolled his eyes and he was about to say something catty in response but didn’t when Blaine’s finger brushed against his prostate gland. “Oh shit, yes!” 

Blaine chuckled at Kurt’s eagerness and said, “Lemme know when it’s enough okay.” 

A short while later Kurt did just that and Blaine, who was relieved since he couldn’t bear much more, positioned himself to line up to Kurt's hole and took hold of his cock, pressing the tip against it.

“Kurt,” Blaine breathed as he slowly began to push inside of him. 

Kurt was so wet and tight that Blaine could barely hold his orgasm back but Kurt seemed to know well enough not to stimulate his body too much at this crucial point. Little by little, and as Kurt relaxed his body, Blaine pushed his hips forward until he was fully inside.

“You feel so good, Kurt,” Blaine breathed. 

“So do you,” Kurt said. 

“I'm gonna start moving okay?” 

“Oh please do!” Kurt cried urgently. 

Blaine pulled out of Kurt until only the tip of his cock was left inside; then he snapped his hips forward to fill him back up again. As soon as Blaine got a steady rhythm going Kurt joined in to thrust in unison with Blaine's hip moments. The end result was so electrifying that Blaine knew he wouldn't last for much longer but he wouldn't give in until he knew Kurt was nearing orgasm as well. Blaine pumped himself in and out of Kurt, putting a bit more force in each additional thrust. The only sound in the room was the slapping of skin mixed with Blaine and Kurt's grunted moans. He couldn't talk and it took everything in him not to come. 

Luckily for Blaine, Kurt didn't need to be at level one to realize his boyfriend was reaching his limit. The sweetheart. Kurt clung to Blaine's body, wrapping his arms around his neck as Blaine slammed into him. Kurt spread his legs as wide as he could to make it so Blaine could thrust deeper inside. He was used to rough sex and while they weren't doing anything he wasn't familiar with, their combined emotional connection made everything new and that more gratifying. 

“Blaine! Oh fuck, oh shit, I'm going to come!” Kurt blurted out uncontrollably. 

“So close Kurt, I'm going to. I can't hold back anymore!”

“Then don't!”

In one last attempt to see that Kurt came as well, Blaine picked up the pace and the effort alone didn't seal the deal. What did the trick was when Kurt's muscles clamped around his cock at the moment of climax and Blaine shouted his name as he achieved orgasm. Kurt's own release came a second later and his hot come shot out onto his stomach. Blaine collapsed onto Kurt in a tired heap, spent and winded, he couldn't move yet. 

Kurt's chest heaved up and down and he let out a long exasperated breath. “That was amazing, Blaine!” 

“Mm...” Blaine mumbled in agreement.

“You're not too worn out for more are you?”

“In a minute... or two... whenever I've recovered enough,” Blaine said tiredly. 

Kurt had no problem with taking a breather and he snuggled up to Blaine despite how hot and sticky he felt. Blaine was still inside of him too but there was no harm in lingering for a moment still.

“I'm gonna hold you to that,” Kurt said a short while later. 

Off in their own little post sex world, both boys were too content laying in each others arms to remember that a short distance away, Blaine's name was being called on stage to received his college diploma. His proud family waited with cameras ready as Blaine's moment of glory had come but he never stepped out from the crowd of students. His name was said again but still nothing. Everyone in the auditorium looked around in confusion. Where was he?

“Blaine Anderson,” the announcer repeated, louder this time. 

Nothing. There was no sign of Blaine. Baffled, the young announcer turned to the Dean of the school. “What do I do now?” he whispered to him desperately.


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine found himself entering a whole new world, one where sex wasn't something to feel ashamed of, it was something to relish. Back when Blaine had been sexually active, there was never any time to linger. It was all 'get our clothes back on so no one will find out what we did'. All of that had changed for Blaine, who was enjoying the hazy aftermath of sex. Kurt was curled up and lying beside him on the bed.

“How do you feel? Any different?” Kurt asked in a sleepy voice. 

Blaine smiled brightly. “I'm feeling a lot of things, some of which are new while others are very familiar to me. But what's different is how the negative feelings no longer outweigh the positive ones. I feel like... my life is finally starting to make sense and… it also feels right,” he said absentmindedly, though he meant every word. 

“Well you definitely sound wiser,” Kurt said, kissing him on the lips. “Happier too.”

“I am happy,” Blaine announced with a glint in his eye. 

Without warning, Blaine rolled them both over so that he was the one on top and attacked Kurt's lips, face and neck with sweet little butterfly kisses. Kurt squealed and giggled, a far cry from the usual air of seductive prowlers Kurt had once projected when they'd first met. Did this mean that Kurt was different too, or like Blaine, was he just setting free a side of himself that he'd kept hidden? Either way, this was one question Blaine refused to agonize over, he would just ask Kurt some time in the future -- for the sake of curiosity. 

Blaine didn't get to have to upper hand for very long though, because soon Kurt turned the tables on his boyfriend; flipping them back over, climbing on to of Blaine so he could straddle him with his thighs. Victorious, Kurt gazed down at Blaine with a cunning grin, and he ran his hands down the front of Blaine's chest teasingly. 

“What ever shall I do with you now, Blaine,” Kurt said. 

The possibilities were endless and while Blaine wanted very much to discover what Kurt hand in mind, he was still pretty worn out from their first run. “As much as I'd love to find out, I'm going to need more time until I'm physically able, Kurt,” Blaine admitted sheepishly. 

Kurt pursed his lips together and pouted at Blaine, as if to offer him his sympathy but in such a dramatic way it was clearly teasingly done. “Poor boy, I nearly forgot you haven't had sex for a while.” 

Blaine smirked at Kurt and said, “I'd like think I did a bang up job still.” 

Kurt snorted by Blaine's bad pun and he rolled his eyes at him in amusement. “You were none too shabby, Blaine,” he assured. 

Blaine wondered to himself if Kurt was tired as well, though he didn't bother to ask in case he was just patronizing Blaine to be considerate. Before he could start to doubt his ability – because he knew that was beyond ridiculous – Blaine reached out to Kurt and made grabby hands at him. Kurt of course couldn't resist his big puppy dog eyes and came to settle down next to him, but not for long. Blaine took hold of Kurt by the arms and pulled him close and Kurt made no attempts to resist him. Soon they were back to cuddling together, with Kurt was half lying on Blaine, the side of his head resting on Blaine's shoulder. 

“What was his name?” Kurt asked. 

“Who?”

“The guy who you had sex with back when you were a teenager, or were there more than one?” 

No one had ever asked Blaine about him or anything along the lines of his sexual history, but because it was Kurt, he didn't shy away from it. 

“There was just one... his name was Eli, we were friends from school,” Blaine said. 

“Do you mind me asking, Blaine? About him I mean? If it's too sad of a memory you don't have to. I just find myself wondering what the details of your relationship with him were like? Were you two madly in love, or was it more just a physical thing? What lead to you two deciding to go for it despite the dangerous implications of getting caught, not to mention your own moral dilemma about engaging in an act of sin. For whatever reason... I'm just... weirdly fascinated about how it all came to be...” Kurt explained, pausing for a moment before he added, “... and came to end.” 

Before Kurt could form any second doubts about asking such a personal question, Blaine took hold of Kurt's hand and laced their fingers together. “I don't mind telling you Kurt, but I've never told anyone about us, so keep that in mind okay?” 

“I'm honoured to be the first then,” Kurt said jokingly. 

Blaine laughed. Kurt's comment was just what he needed to keep the atmosphere light so he could tell the story without it changing their lovely mood.

“In many ways, what happened to Eli and I is the same thing that happens to many young teens around the same age, the difference with us being that we were both guys. Because of that and the stigma that came along with being raised in a Catholic house, we didn't realize at first what was even going on. We were just good friends who got along well and were comfortable around each other. We hung out, talked, and just spent time together, as friends do. We didn't think anything of it either and no one ever teased or bullied us about it. I guess because we were all so stuck in denial that the possibility that we could be something more didn't cross anyone's minds – especially ours.” 

Kurt studied Blaine's face as he took a moment to collect himself before going on. “What was the changing denominator then?” 

“There was a moment...” Blaine began. 

“As there often is in these scenarios.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes at Kurt. “Do you want to hear the story or not?” 

“Sorry, I'll be good. Go on,” Kurt said. 

“As I was trying to say, what changed for us happened on a day that started out just like any other: we were hanging out at Eli's place, studying for an upcoming final. We were sitting close together on the floor and didn't think anything of it. I can't remember exactly what it was but Eli said something funny and we started to laugh. We looked at each other and then we just shared this silent moment together and all of a sudden we weren't laughing anymore... we were kissing. I'm not sure what was going through his head but mine had shut off the second our lips touched. I didn't think about what it mean, or how wrong it was, I just... gave into the sensation. We kissed for a while, neither of us saying anything about what was going on even.” 

Blaine took a quick breather and allowed himself to look at Kurt to see he still had his undivided attention. “After that... well... we kept going a bit further whenever we could, but never talking about it or what it meant for us. We never had 'the talk' or anything like that, we weren't boyfriends, and going on an actual date was out of the question. All we had were those fleeting hours when we were alone together and we spent them testing our physical boundaries. I guess we were bitter that regular kids our age didn't have to hide their feelings like that. I mean, at least not as much, because any sex before marriage is still frowned upon but for straight kids, it's not so strictly enforced... or punished for that matter.” 

“When did you two finally go all of the way?” Kurt asked. 

“That happened um... a little over a month after we first kissed. We'd done a lot of things by then too, pretty much everything except anal. For a while neither of us were comfortable enough to try it... it sounded too painful... and scary and more than anything: wrong. Then, like with how it had begun, one night things got really hot for us and we amazingly had the whole night together. Eli's parents were gone for the weekend and I got permission from my parents to stay over at his place – since to them we where still just good friends. Eli's older brother Terry was supposed to stay and watch us but he bolted to go see to his own desires. I was planning just to give Eli a blowjob when he admitted he'd found Terry's stash of condoms and lube and had taken some. We were both really nervous but we just went for it,” Blaine explained. 

“How did that go?” Kurt said, asking yet another question. 

Blaine smiled weakly. “Better than I imagined but now that I've been with you I can tell how ignorant we were. I topped that first time and I really tried to prepare Eli well enough, I made sure I used enough lube, I fingered him before hand and I went really slow... but I still hurt him a bit. He didn't say anything but I could still tell that I did. That freaked me out enough so I didn't give it a try myself until a week later. That time it was a little better, it didn't hurt that much but neither did it feel all that great. As I look back on it now I think what the problem was is that were both too fearful of getting caught to really enjoy it.” 

Kurt brought their entwined hands up to his lips so he could kiss the back of Blaine's hand lovingly. There was no pity in Kurt's blue eyes, just compassion and understanding, even if Kurt hadn't been through anything remotely similar – or so Blaine assumed.

“We gained some courage after that, though the pace was slow. We spent the next month getting to know what we both liked in bed and stuff like that. All the while we still never once talked about what all of it meant. I honestly don't even think words like 'gay' or 'homosexual' were spoken at all. Which really says something because we were having sex together and enjoying it but the reasons why were still too terrifying for us to admit.” 

“You had your reasons, Blaine, I'm sure,” Kurt said thoughtfully. 

Blaine sighed, “Yes but they weren't very good ones.” 

Apparently arguing about if Blaine was right or not wasn't anything that appealed to Kurt, who just leaned in to kiss Blaine on the cheek.

“How did you two get caught?”

“We got careless. We thought we had enough time before my folks would come home but we were proven horribly wrong. My mom came up to my room to check to see if I was home but what she found was...” Blaine described as the memory came back to him. “... was her son naked and... doing things to another boy that... no parent would want see...” 

“You mean you were...” Kurt said, his words trailing off. 

Blaine nodded. “Having full on penetrative sex? Yes and I was on the receiving end that time and... my mom just lost it. She screamed in horror and shouted for my dad to come up. Eli and I broke apart but it was too late, we were caught and there was no escape...” 

“That's enough Blaine, you don't have to tell me anymore, not if it's too painful for you to relive,” Kurt told him softly.

 

“Thanks,” Blaine breathed. He wanted to tell Kurt the full story but it was still such a bitter memory for him. “So yeah, it all fell apart after that. Eli and I never saw each other again, his parents not only transferred him to a different school but they actually moved to a whole other city. As if separating us like that would cure him somehow. As for me, my parents never trusted me to be alone with another boy, like I would even dare to try. It could have been worse though...” 

Kurt eyed him in puzzlement; like he couldn't believe it was possible. “How?” 

“My parents refused to enroll me in any programs to cure me of my _ailment_. So I wasn't forced to be reprogrammed or anything. They stopped being angry rather quickly, though their sympathetic worry honestly felt even worse. But it did make me want to seek their forgiveness, and God’s as well,” Blaine said in closing. 

“That's quite a story Blaine... thank you for telling me,” said Kurt, who further showed his appreciation by kissing his shoulder. 

“Thank you for listening and knowing that telling you it was something I really needed.”

“You're very welcome, Blaine,” Kurt cooed. 

The couple spent a moment to reflect while they remained cuddle together and Blaine's gaze glazed over as he looked up at the ceiling. He often wondered what had happened to Eli but he had always been too afraid to try to find out. 

“If you like, I can tell you about my first time, though it's quite different to yours,” Kurt offered. 

Blaine smiled; that was just the sort of distraction he needed and as a nice bonus, he'd get to learn more about the young man who'd captured his heart. “I'd like that,” Blaine lovingly replied. ________________________________________________________________________ 

“You're heart's betting so fast Blaine, it's going like crazy,” Kurt proudly announced. 

“You did give it a pretty good workup,” Blaine said. 

“You mean we did, right?” 

“Right.”

All playfulness aside, Kurt still thought that Blaine's heart was racing a bit too much considering they'd taken a restful nap when their endurance had finally run out. It was true that having three consecutive orgasms was a bit of a runner but it was nothing that their young bodies couldn't endure – or one would think anyway. They'd spent the last hour sharing enjoyable pillow talk as well, so why was Blaine's heart still going like they were right in the middle of things? Their current position, snuggled together side by side on the bed with Kurt's head resting on his chest, certainly wasn't anything to give Blaine's heart such a work-out either. This was becoming alarming, was he just worrying for nothing or was there more to it than Blaine was letting on?

“Do you have any heart conditions I'm not aware of, because you could have warned me if so,” Kurt said. 

Blaine shook his head. “No I don't. Back when I was a baby there were concerns but the test didn't find anything conclusive. I've always been relatively healthy too, so I wouldn't worry about it, Kurt. I'm sure my heart will simmer down soon enough,” he assured. 

“As long as you're sure.” 

“It's probably more due to nerves than anything we've done...” Blaine said all of a sudden. 

Kurt moved his head up so he could look Blaine in the eye. “Meaning?” 

Blaine didn't seem to want to admit anything to Kurt, but his nervous frown showed how he didn't want to lie either. His little moral dilemma didn't last very long though, and he let out a tired sigh of defeat. 

“I was going to tell you about it Kurt, I just got side tracked. But now that we're done having sex. I'm reminded of what I left behind to go rushing after you...” 

Kurt didn't like the sound of this. “You mean your graduation ceremony?” 

Blaine's jaw tightened as he tried to think of a way to word himself properly, at least that's what Kurt gathered he was doing. Why he felt the need made Kurt feel anxious, just what could be so bad that Blaine was this reluctant to tell him. 

“That too... uh... but actually what I meant was how everyone must be wondering what's happened to me, since I failed to show up,” Blaine explained to Kurt, who's frown had grown more prominent. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Blaine...” Kurt began apprehensively. “Did you run off to find me without telling anyone where you were going?” 

“There was no one around to tell and I wasn't about to go find someone either. My feet just raced towards you on their own! Even if someone were there, what in the world would I have said? 'Sorry but I've suddenly decided I don't want to be a priest anymore and I'm running off to confess my love?' For all I knew by the time I had explained myself to anyone, I could have missed my chance to find you.”

Kurt sat up on the bed; gaping at Blaine in disbelief. Was this really happening to them? Again? Just when he thought they'd escaped drama for once, here it was coming right back at them. “Let me get this straight,” Kurt muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fore-fingers. “Your parents and your entire school have no idea where you've gone? You just went and disappeared right before the ceremony that everyone knew you were planning to attend?” 

As soon as Blaine heard Kurt say the premise out-loud his face deadpanned, and changed to dreaded guilt. “I didn't... I wasn't thinking. Oh no, what have I done? My family must be worried sick about me! This will come so out of the blue for anyone who remotely knows me!” 

Blaine's state hadn't reached total panic yet but the way he was going, it could if Kurt didn't do something about it. First Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's shoulder to keep him seated on the bed, though he made sure not to use any means of force. 

“Blaine,” Kurt said to catch his attention. Right away Blaine's eyes whirled to look Kurt in the eye and his stance instantly melted to become slightly more relaxed. “This isn't the end of the world; we can deal with it. You've only been gone for a little over two hours... so there's still time for some much-needed damage control. What about your phone, do you have it with you?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine brought his hands to his hips and then rolled his eyes when he realized he was still naked. He leaned over to the floor and Kurt let go of him so he could retrieve his pants. Blaine fished inside the back pocket and brought out his phone. “Oh right, I turned it off just before I felt you... for the ceremony,” Blaine muttered. 

Which explained why no one had tried to reach him since, or at least, Blaine turning off the phone meant there was no way anyone could reach him. “Of course you did,” Kurt sighed. 

“I'm kinda... afraid to turn it back on now. I know I should, but there's going to be so many missed calls and texts...” 

“Try to keep calm Blaine, because the last thing you or that busy heart of yours need is to start spazzing,” Kurt said as he got up off the bed to join Blaine and offer what support he could. 

Blaine heeded Kurt's advice and came at him for a much needed hug, which Kurt was happy to give. Blaine took a deep breath, held it for a second and let it out slowly. A moment later Blaine patted Kurt's shoulder as he pulled back and he looked a little less frazzled than before. 

“Feel any better?” Kurt said. 

Blaine nodded. “Thanks to you.” He stared at the blank screen of his phone for a moment before sighing again. “There's a part of me that wishes I could just run away from it all -- with you of course,” he admitted. 

Kurt knew a thing or two about running; in fact he was technicality running from both sides of his heritage. But hypocrite or not, Kurt still wanted to give Blaine what advice he could, in that chance that it would help him decide.

“I have no right to say this to you... or anyone really... but as a person who's been running from his problems for most of his life, I can honestly say it rarely pays off in the end. Ultimately it's your decision Blaine and whatever you choose to do I'll be there at your side... but that also means your choice will effect me nearly as much as it will you...” Kurt struggled awkwardly, proving he could be just as nervous as his boyfriend. 

Blaine's smile was one of complete affection; apparently he also thought his boyfriend was cute when he got flustered. “Kurt, you don't need to defend yourself to me. I know you only have my best interest at heart, so just tell me what you honestly think.” 

The tension in Kurt's shoulders drained a little thanks to Blaine's gentle coaxing; he loved him so much. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's bare shoulders and kissed the back of his neck softly, just because he wanted to – and finally could.

“You should tell your parents what has happened, maybe not going into full details... but it's the right thing to do. It won't be easy... or pretty... actually going on what little I know about your family it will probably be a total disaster, but it's still second best to running away without a word. For all we know once the forty-eight hour mark passes they could put out a missing persons report... and I could end up as the prime suspect in your supposed kidnapping!” Kurt said, pausing when he realized his voice had grown overly dramatic. “I bet your family and friends are already starting to panic at this stage, so you should contact them. Not for any of their sakes, especially with your folks but for yourself Blaine. If you don't get any closure, if you just run off without facing them... then there will be no hope for you to be able to move on.”

Blaine turned himself around in Kurt's arm so he could show the appreciation in his adoring eyes. “Kurt... you are by far the most wonderful and compassionate person I have ever met... and no matter how hard it might be for others to understand, even my parents, I refused to hide what you mean to me and what we are to each other. You're right, I can't run from this,” Blaine said as he brought out his phone and turned it on. 

Sure enough, as soon as the screen lit up and Blaine entered his password, all digital hell broke loose. There were over a dozen left text messages and even more missed calls coming from his family, classmates and teachers even. Blaine gulped at the sight of it all and he felt his heart begin to beat fast in his chest again. 

“Wow. I know I what I said... but already my confidence is leaving me,” Blaine muttered. 

“It's nothing to feel ashamed about Blaine, and I sure wouldn't want to do it if I were in your shoes.” 

“I guess I could send a text... since there is no way that I could call either of them right now,” Blaine said, meaning his mom and dad. 

“It's certainly a start and you don't have to say anything in the text...” 

Blaine nodded. He ignored the new wave of messages in his inbox and decided his safest bet was to send a text to Cooper, who would be with his parents still. He could handle himself well enough to keep their parents under control, or so Blaine hoped anyway. It was best not for him to think about what all three of them were doing right now, or else he'd become overwhelmed with guilt. Blaine brought up Coopers' name and started to write a message to him, after fixing all of the typos, the end result was this. 

_It's me Blaine, tell Mom and Dad I'm all right and I'm coming to explain everything to you. Meet me in my dorm room._

The urge to erase and redo the whole message was hard for Blaine to fight, so he quickly showed his phone to Kurt to get his boyfriend's valued opinion. Kurt took a moment to study the message properly before nodding in approval. 

“It's good, Blaine: short and to the point. Better yet saying that you'll meet them obligates you to follow through with the process,” Kurt said. 

Blaine let out a breath of relief. He could do this; he could face his parents and tell them that he no longer wanted to become a priest. While the part about him meeting and falling in love with Kurt wouldn't be easy to confess, he refused to let his parents' golden opinion dictate how he should live his life. It wasn't even like they were the only ones to blame; he himself had never been brave enough to do anything on his own. That all was about to change, because even with Kurt at his side, Blaine still had to walk on his own two feet -- straight towards his awaiting family. Blaine thought his little moral boost would be enough to make him hit the send button, but his thumb didn't touch the screen of his phone. 

He tried again, but his hand was shaking too much for Blaine to manage, nor could he steady it enough to. Blaine heart was pounding in his chest by so much that he was starting to feel short of breath. 

“Blaine, what's wrong?” Kurt asked. 

“I dunno... I... my heart's racing...” 

“Well, you do have ample reason to freak out about all of this. I am too, for the record.”

“I know, but I can let those reasons become excuses not to do anything.” 

“I'm not saying you should and I wouldn't let you either,” Kurt said. 

Blaine shut off his phone again and put his arm down. “I can't bring myself to just send them a text without any explanation. No matter what happens afterwards, I need to do this face to face,” he explained. 

Kurt knew well enough not to argue with Blaine, who was in no condition to. Instead he gave Blaine a kiss on the cheek and headed over to his dresser. “If you're going to face them, then I'll just have you loan you something from my generous wardrobe again. Since wearing your rumpled graduation outfit wouldn't be a good idea.” 

Not too long ago the idea of Blaine facing his parents wearing Kurt's clothes would have sent him into a spiraling panic. But everything was different; wearing a physical representation of Kurt's support would make him feel safe, empowered and maybe even brave. 

While Kurt chose an outfit for him, Blaine tried his best to get his breathing under control but his heart wasn't willing to cooperate it seemed. Blaine placed a hand on his chest, as if that could calm it down somehow. It was just nerves. Blaine went into the bathroom to fix his hair, splashing water onto his face. He wished he had time take a shower but he knew better than to add further delay. 

Kurt stepped into the bedroom with a whole ensemble for Blaine and he handed him it with a smile. Blaine kissed him to show his thanks and set to getting dressed right there and then, since there was no reason to be shy anymore. Kurt made no teasing remarks as he also got dressed and soon they were both fully clothed and ready to head out. 

“I'm ready whenever you are, Blaine,” Kurt said. 

Blaine shrugged and replied, “I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.” 

Thanks to their growing connection, Kurt picked up on Blaine's unease and went over to him, taking hold of his hand. Kurt squeezed it and then gently tugged on Blaine's arms to get his boyfriend to head towards the front door. “Come on. You can do this, you're amazing,” he gently coaxed. 

Whether Blaine believed it yet or not, he allowed Kurt to lead him out of his apartment and into the hall. He remained silent as they walked together hand in hand and he didn't feel that inclined to talk. Blaine had enough going on as it was in his chaotic mind anyway so he was grateful that Kurt was leaving him be – in his own loving way of course. Blaine kept imagining his parents’ shocked faces when he would suddenly appear totally fine but with a young man in tow. Once the initial surprise wore off, how would they react? With Cooper he had an idea, thanks to their talk before, but with his folks, he had no clue. 

“How's your heart?” Kurt asked, interrupting Blaine's thoughts. 

The reminder of it made Blaine aware it hadn't stopped pounding at all. “Still beating like crazy...” 

“I thought you sounded a little winded to me.” 

Blaine entire body suddenly felt heavy, like his shoes had weights in them and it was becoming more and more difficult for him to keep moving. This had to be more than a simple adrenaline rush; something was wrong. Blaine stopped walking and Kurt turned to face him, his face full of worry. 

“I wanna say I'm fine... but... is it normal to feel like I can barely breath?” 

Instantly Kurt's hand came to touch his chest and his eyes widened at what he felt. “You're heart rate is dangerously irregular, Blaine. This is something way more serious than just nerves. It's almost like your heart's faltering!” Kurt said worriedly.

A sudden onslaught of dizziness hit Blaine, knocking him off of his feet and he would have fallen to the floor if not for Kurt. 

“Blaine! We need to call for an ambulance!” Kurt shouted. 

Blaine shook his head. “No, I can't scare my family like that.” 

“Screw them! Your life’s at stake!”

“I just need a moment to breathe, that's all,” Blaine said, though he was hardly convincing. 

“Let me be the judge of that. I can use my abilities to check your body for vitals. That all right, Blaine?”

Blaine forced his head back up so he could take a look around; the hallway of the apartment building was empty, so the coast for the moment was clear. He wasn't sure what Kurt had in mind but he trusted him. He felt too light headed to speak proper words, so just nodded instead, and that was all Kurt needed for him to act. He held onto Blaine by the waist as he carefully helped him settle onto the floor and once he appeared to be comfortable as possible, he thrust his hand right into Blaine's chest! While surprised, Blaine couldn't feel a thing as Kurt routed inside of his body, searching for any clues to his sudden ailment. 

“I can't really tell... since I'm not a doctor and I've never done anything like this before. It's like all of your strength is simply disappearing without a trace...” Kurt muttered in confusion. 

“I'm feeling a little better already,” Blaine said, his voice slurring a little. 

Kurt frowned at him; as if he were too suspicious to believe Blaine, or he knew it was too risky to put his fears aside.

“We should have taken a longer nap,” said Blaine, whose attempts at humour were quite misplaced. 

“If you need more energy I can help you there at least, but I still think we should take you to a hospital,” Kurt stated. 

“As soon as I see my family to let them know I'm all right I'll go to one, okay? You can check me in yourself.” 

The promise that Blaine would properly look after himself seemed to be enough for Kurt to not fight Blaine on it. Kurt knelt down in front of Blaine, gave him a quick peck on the lips and then faded into him, and Blaine felt his familiar presence enter his mind. Already it sent a calming effect throughout Blaine's tired body and that was only the beginning. Much like when Kurt had lowered his emotional walls, Blaine was hit with yet another floodgate but this time it wasn't one of emotion but blessed strength. Power rushed into Blaine's veins, sending it through his body and thus making it easier for him to breath. 

“What did you do?” Blaine gasped. 

_'I shared my power with you, Blaine. Is it too much? Because I can dilute it a bit, to make it less of a shock.'_

_'I'm okay, it was just unexpected and a whole new kind of rush. Are you going to be all right though? You aren't giving me too much? I don't want to leave you weakened, Kurt.'_

_'This is only a small portion of how much power my body holds Blaine, and I still have surplus to spare,'_ Kurt said in assurance. 

Blaine had always assumed that Kurt was powerful; he just had no idea by how much. If the situation there were going through wasn't so heavy, he would have thought about it more. Instead he just shook it off for the time being and willed his body to stand. His heart was still beating faster than normal, but he no longer felt so incapacitated. Thanks to Kurt's help, he managed to stand without toppling over. Relief washed over Blaine; he felt good, better than good, he felt amazing! 

_'Better?'_ Kurt's voice asked. 

_'Much. I'm feeling fine, Kurt. I think I just went through some sort of episode, triggered by built up stress.'_

_'I'm still insisting you go see a doctor Blaine, even if that's all it turns out to be.'_

Blaine smiled and said, “Fair enough.” 

Blaine took a few cautious steps and was pleased to discover walking on his own proved to be no trouble at all. He started off at a gentle sprint, not letting himself run to catch up on lost time but hurrying it a little since he could now. 

_'Kurt, can we stay like this for a bit longer? At least until I make it to my dorm? I figure as soon as we get there I'll send the text and wait for my parents and Cooper to arrive,'_ Blaine explained. 

_'Sure, I can even make sure that no one spots you before hand too.'_

_'Thank you Kurt, I love you so much.'_

_'You too Blaine, now get a move on,'_ Kurt urged. 

All was going well at first as Blaine made his way out of the building and off in the direction of the Caldwell Hall. Or maybe the reason Blaine thought he was okay was because he was too distracted by what was to come that he yet again didn't realize the actual state of his body. Whatever the case, he made it all the way to the start of the campus grounds before he was hit with a jolt of pain. 

_'Blaine!'_ Kurt's voice shouted in his mind as Blaine doubled over. 

Blaine tried to say something but the increasing pain rendered him silent and he fell to the ground. Nobody around them was rushing to his side; it was like they couldn't even see him. Blaine's heart skipped a beat and then went back to pounding hard inside his chest. Every follow breath brought more pain and he wheezed and coughed under the strain of trying to hold on. 

_'Blaine!'_ Kurt shouted again, but it was no use, Blaine was failing on him. 

The overwhelming sensation of panic struck Kurt as he felt Blaine starting to slip and as a reflex he took over Blaine's body before he could crash to the ground. Now in control of Blaine's motor functions, Kurt forced Blaine back up to stand as he thought what to do. He'd made it so no one around them could see them and Kurt almost reversed the processes until he realized there was no time. Blaine was fading and if he didn't act fast, he might lose him. Kurt willed Blaine's body to move, making way for his dorm room so Kurt could see to his health without any risk of others noticing. It felt like ages but finally Blaine – through the power of Kurt – opened the door to his dorm room, locked it back shut and collapsed unconscious on his bed. 

Kurt left his body and rushed by his side to hover over him. It seemed nearly impossible by somehow Blaine's health had deteriorated so rapidly that his life was in actual danger! Kurt's usual control was nowhere to be found. What was going on? Why was this happening to them and why hadn't he paid more attention in biology class! 

“Now is not the time to freak out, Kurt. I've used my powers plenty of times to patch myself back up so why should this be any different?” Kurt told himself encouragingly.

Because there was more than his own life at stake, but Kurt pushed those thoughts aside. Kurt reached tapped into his well of power as he placed his hands on Blaine. He went right to the source, meaning Blaine's heart, and stretched out tendrils of power to determine what was wrong. Minutes passed as Kurt desperately searched for something, anything that would lead to a possible treatment. 

“Come on, come on, come on,” Kurt muttered over and over under his breath. 

“Show me where it hurts Blaine, tell me what I can do to heal you.” 

On instinct Kurt went to level one, which wasn't so easy when he still had a physical body to maintain in addition to still syphoning power to Blaine to keep him alive. Then finally, the added connection made it possible for Kurt to pinpoint where the pain was coming from. There was a hole in Blaine's heart that must have been so small it had gone unnoticed all of these years – only for it to tear open and risk putting an end to Blaine's young life – or it would have – if Kurt weren't there to save him. 

The amount of power it would take to heal the wound was substantial but Kurt didn't hesitate to give it. Pouring all of the remaining energy in his body to travel through his arm and circle around Blaine's faulty heart. At first it didn't seem to be working, as if Blaine's body was fighting against Kurt, who was using laws against nature to heal him. Relentless and wide-eyed, Kurt used more power and through their connection he felt the hole begin to close. New healthy tissue grew around it, making the wound grow smaller and smaller until it was no more. 

“I did it Blaine, I actually did it!” Kurt cried out with joy, but Blaine's eyes didn't open, and he didn't hear Blaine's voice in his head. 

Kurt froze. He looked down at Blaine to see he wasn't breathing. “No!” Kurt thrust his hand back into Blaine's chest to feel his heart. No. It wasn't beating. Kurt was drained of energy and about to pass out himself but he couldn't give up yet. 

“Don't leave me Blaine! Don't you fucking dare! I won't let them take the you from me!” Kurt yelled. 

Kurt's hand gently closed around Blaine's heart and he squeezed it, and then he relaxed his grip, repeating the motion over and over. He slowly began to pump Blaine's heart for him as he started to give him CPR as well. He counted the minutes and kept the routine going, wishing with all of his heart that Blaine would open his eyes and smile at him. 

He was so close to passing out that Kurt could barely keep his eyes open and he almost drifted off, the jerking motion of his head waking him before he could. Kurt blinked; he had to stay awake, he had to save Blaine. Just when Kurt feared he couldn't do enough to, Blaine's heart started to beat on its own and it didn't stop. Tears streamed down Kurt's face. Yes! But Blaine wasn't out of the woods yet, Kurt had to get help, but he was so tired. 

With his last ounce of energy, Kurt pulled Blaine's phone from his pocket, went into his saved file and sent the text to his brother Cooper. He clung to the hope that they would find him in time but Kurt had already done everything he could for Blaine. All that he had left in him was to lie next to Blaine to make sure he was still breathing. Kurt slipped in and out of consciousness and he knew his body was running dangerously low on fuel, too low for mere sleep to take care of it. He had to leave his physical body before it burned up from using too much power. 

_'You're going to live Blaine... we're gonna be together...'_ Kurt sent weakly to Blaine, who didn't stir. 

With his last drop of power, Kurt slipped out of his physical shell just as he heard the sounds of heavy footsteps coming from outside the room.  


	10. Chapter 10

Was sunlight normally this blindingly white? As Kurt's heavy eyelids opened, the bright light was like daggers slashing at his pupils and he shut them right away. Even with them closed he could tell how lit up the space around him was, wherever that could be. Kurt's eyesight strained as he struggled to adjust to the brightness and there were still spots in his eyes when he finally managed to open them. Wall to wall white, that's all Kurt saw. There was nothing around him, just a vast open space that seemingly went on forever. 

His eyes weren't the only part of his body that was struggling to function, every inch of him hurt with a numbing pain. Kurt felt like he was nothing but a dead weight and moving even a single finger seemed impossible. Where was he? Kurt stretched out his senses to get a better idea of his position and after a quick assessment he realized he was kneeling – which didn't make sense. How was he staying upright when he had no energy left in him whatsoever? 

To find any possible answer, Kurt struggled to move his head a bit, only to fail on his first attempt. He tried again, and finally, on his forth try his head craned upwards and he heard the clanging sound of chains. Kurt frowned. If only it wasn't so god damn bright he could see what was going on! Kurt managed to move his right hand but met opposition when he tried to go a little further. 

“The fuck? I'm... I'm in chains!” Kurt croaked in alarm. 

The familiar feelings of anger welled up inside of Kurt, giving him a much-needed flow of energy that in turn made him more self-aware. Kurt was bound and chained in what appeared to be a room encased in white light. There were five chains in total connected to him, two on his ankles, and two on his wrist and a final one around his neck. Kurt was bent over on his knees. The chains were holding him up, or else he would have been lying on the floor. 

Kurt went over his last memories to search for possible clues: he'd used the last of his powers to heal the hole in Blaine's heart... and then what? Everything went blank after that, but he had a looming hunch for what could have happened next. After using so much power, Kurt would have needed to leave his physical body or burn it out, but this didn't look like the subspace he was used to. That was more of a muted grey than white and there were no chains either. 

So what was going on and how had he gone from lying weakly beside Blaine to being incarcerated? Kurt chuckled mockingly. Of course. Why didn't he think of it sooner? This whole scenario screamed angelic to him, or at least the white light part did, because it sure wasn't anything he'd call demonic -- not even the chains. 

“Do you ever plan on showing yourselves? Or am I just doomed to rot here forever conveniently forgotten?” Kurt said in a venomous tone. 

A form appeared out of nowhere and came to stand before Kurt, blocking the source of light to form a shadow. Kurt blinked his eyes and when they focused enough he could make out the lacy white dress. 

  
“I should have know that they would send you,” Kurt muttered. 

“Would you prefer someone else, Kurt? We thought seeing a familiar face might comfort you,” Quinn said in her usual formal manner. 

It would take too much effort for Kurt to roll his eyes, so he just made a sound of disgust to tell her just how happy he was to see her. 

“Do you plan on telling me why I'm chained in what I assume is the angel equivalent of a prison?” Kurt said. 

Quinn studied Kurt's features for a moment before she took a step closer to him, stopping just before coming within his reach. “How does any prisoner come to such a place? They commit a crime,” she answered matter-of-factly. 

“And what, pray tell, could I have possibly committed to deserve this?” Kurt said as he yanked the chains on his wrists to empathize. 

The sides of Quinn's mouth upturned slightly and she shook her head at Kurt, as if she were disappointed in him. “You really have know idea what you have done... do you?” 

“Can you skip with the power trip Quinn, and just tell me what horrible sin I've committed? I'm not enjoying banter with you, you don't have the personal skills for it I'm afraid,” said Kurt, who grinned at her in mocking defiance. 

“You used your powers to heal Blaine Anderson -- which is forbidden.” 

“He was dying!” Kurt shouted angrily. 

“You had no right to do that, Kurt.” 

“I had every right! I love him!” 

“Love still doesn't give you the right to play God,” Quinn countered. 

Kurt's anger was building and he made no attempts to keep it in check; he was that enraged. “It was you who told me to save him! Those were the instructions you gave me, which came all the way from your merciful God! You were the ones who sent me to save Blaine and now that I have, I'm being punished for it?” 

Quinn looked down at Kurt; there was no hint of compassion in her blue eyes, only cold indifference. “You were sent to save Blaine's immortal soul Kurt, not his human life. I see now that it was an error in judgment on our part to think you would know the difference on your own,” she explained. 

In an instant, Kurt's white-hot anger turned chillingly cold. His first instinct was to erupt in a fit of rage but his power levels were still too depleted for that to do any good. Kurt decided to turn to his other coping mechanism, so he threw his head back and started to laugh mockingly at her and the unbelievable scenario he found himself in. The laughter did little to help Kurt through his ordeal but it was better than nothing. 

Quinn merely watched Kurt laugh it all out, never once reacting to the scene he was making – treating him as if he were just am unruly child. 

Kurt took a deep breath, let it out and then said, “It serves me right for thinking your kind would burden yourselves with the concerns of humans. Because of course you would mean to save his soul because that's the only part you have to look after in the end. How foolish of me to think otherwise! I guess I do deserve being held here against my will,” Kurt said with pure sarcasm. 

“We sent you to Blaine so you could save his soul before he left the physical world Kurt, he was meant to die and you are here, because you went against God to save him,” Quinn said. 

At the mention of Blaine's name, Kurt's head shot back up and he glared formidably at Quinn. If Blaine was meant to die, did that mean the angels had taken care of the job themselves? Anger flared in Kurt and with a sudden boost of power he lunged at Quinn. The chains around him held him in place, throwing him backwards and he growled in frustration. 

“Quinn! I'm warning you! If you go anywhere near Blaine then so help me, I will burn your body away until there's nothing left. We both know I can do it and I will! My power levels are already returning to me and pretty soon these chains of yours won't be able to hold me at bay. I will break loose and unleash my power with a hot blown rage. I might not be able to level the place, but I bet I can destroy a good amount of angels before I could be taken down,” Kurt threatened and he really meant it.

Quinn turned her nose up at Kurt, as if it separated herself from him and his childish outbreaks. “Whoever you think we are Kurt, you are wrong. We would never slay an innocent human for the mistake you have made. So no, we will not go after Blaine Anderson and end the life he was never meant to have.”

It was her word against his and yet Kurt still believed her completely. Angels never bothered to lie, or perhaps they couldn't, but in this case, he knew somehow that she was telling him the truth. Kurt's anger dissipated but it was far from gone, just with knowing that Blaine was safe he could be patient and give more time for his body to recover. He needed to stall, so he'd keep talking as his power levels slowly rose. 

“Oh, how kind of you,” Kurt muttered. Thankfully stalling didn't mean Kurt had to play nice. 

“You are so like him, Kurt,” Quinn said without warning. 

That comment got Kurt's attention and he watched Quinn turn her body every so slightly so she could look at him out of the corner of her eye. He quickly saw that she was smiling, a little too much for his liking. What was she playing at? Whatever it was, Kurt sure didn't like the sound of her tone. “What?” Kurt asked confusingly, though making it clear he didn't care that much one way or the other. 

“You are so like him; the angel who is your father, Kurt. I know him well, and you're very similar,” Quinn explained to Kurt. 

Tempting Kurt with information about his reclusive father, who he had yet to meet, wasn't a very good way to get on Kurt's good side. If anything it just made him that more fed up, and Kurt made no attempts to hide his displeasure. 

“So you know how hard it must be for him to be known as the angel who was seduced by a demon? I guess it must still be a sore spot with him if you were assigned to me and not him. I also take it that means he still refuses to acknowledge that I even exist?” 

“I'm not trying to justify his actions, or his refusal to see you, Kurt. That is his choice, just as it has been yours to turn away from us at every turn. When we found you after you used your power to save Blaine, your body was so burnt out you were near death. It took three arch angels to fight off the demons for long enough to whisk you off to safety,” Quinn said. 

Kurt rolled his eyes; he could barely believe what he was hearing. Was he supposed to be grateful for their efforts? “Some rescue, I think it's more like you were securing a prisoner.” 

“Do you think you would have been better off with _them_ , Kurt?” 

“I couldn't begin to guess Quinn, and I have no plans to. I'd much rather talk about what you intend to do with me, since it was you who got to me first and not _them_. I've made it quite clear that I will never join your ranks so I find it odd that you didn't try to deal with me when I was at my weakest? Or maybe you did try and failed, you, the exalted Angels of Heaven couldn't take care of a single unconscious half-breed. If you had the gall to try to destroy me at all that is, so maybe you just attempted to sever me from my wells of power but you still had no luck with your attempts?” Kurt said. 

Quinn's silence in Kurt's mind only confirmed his theory so he went on. “Gee, that must have been really frustrating for you, to be so utterly defeated by someone like me. So what went wrong, huh? I think I can take a guess. It's the pesky demon side of my bloodline; it's too erratic for you to anticipate. That's been the problem with me from the very start, hasn't it? I'm just too unpredictable, too powerful for you to control. I'm the mistake that was never suppose to happen after-all and there's good reason I shouldn't have been born right?” Kurt taunted. 

Per usual, Quinn said nothing in response but Kurt saw her jaw tighten. Kurt decided to up the tension a bit more and he clenched his right fist. At first nothing happened but then, the chains bound around his wrist began to sizzle and melt. With a strong jerk, Kurt broke his hand free of the chain and it fell to the ground. He massaged his now free wrist with his other hand, which was still bound – for now. 

“At the rate we're going, we are never going to be rid of one another, not until someone crosses a line and rises to act and even then... the amount of time and manpower -- make that angel-power -- that will be needed to stop me is far more than you'd ever want to supply. I will fight you every step of the way. No matter how hard you try to sway me, I will never become one of you! Nor will I ever side with the demons either which would ironically be easier for you if I were to, because then I would be just another enemy for you to valiantly destroy!” 

Kurt stopped his long-winded rant so he could catch his breath and study Quinn for any signs of what she was really sent here to do. It didn't take long for Kurt to decide that she was far too good at masking her true feelings to learn anything. This was all so fucking stupid and a complete waste of time. Kurt didn't want deal with the likes of her, he wanted to be with Blaine, who had escaped death but was who knew where! What he needed to do was stop shouting worthless taunts and do something that would get him out of the angels clutches – without having to fight his way out. 

Quinn eventually stopped their staring contest and looked away from Kurt as she let out a tired sigh. “I should have known it would be pointless to reason with you, but I still had to try,” she said. 

In a flash, Kurt knew what he could do to tip the scales and while it was risky, if he played his cards right, he could wind up getting everything he wanted. He flexed his wrist and released enough energy to burn away the remaining chain on his hand. 

“Why reason when we can bargain instead,” Kurt said, using another drop of power to take care of the two chains binding his ankles.

He was almost free and to that end, Kurt stood up, never taking his eyes off of Quinn and he regained his usual confident composure. Kurt then nonchalantly placed his hands on the large chain around his neck and broke it in two effortlessly. He stepped towards Quinn, who held her ground courageously. _'I think I'm actually going to miss her attitude,_ ' Kurt thought amazingly. 

Kurt stopped only a foot from where Quinn stood, held his hand out to her and said, “Let's strike a deal.”  
________________________________________________________________________

The first mumbled word out of Blaine's mouth when he finally regained conscious was Kurt's name, but the people at his bedside didn't even hear it. It took his eyes fluttering open for the three of them to realize that Blaine was back with them, still alive and with a healthy beating heart. Weakly he glanced around as his eyes adjusted to the light. Where was he? 

“Blaine! Oh, thank the Lord, he's coming to!” Blaine heard his mother cry out with joy. 

Blaine blinked his eyes and turned his head to the right to see that his parents and Cooper were seated at the side of the bed, and they were all clearly overjoyed to see him. 

“I know the doctor said you would pull through for sure but I was still so worried!” Cooper exclaimed, sounding nothing like his normal subdued self. 

Blaine became further surprised when his dad actually stood up from his chair to take hold of his hand. “How do you feel, son?” he worriedly asked. 

“I feel... tired but well enough I suppose,” Blaine said. “What happened?”

“We were hoping you could tell us that Blaine. You sent me a text asking to meet us in your dorm room but when we arrived we found you passed out on the floor,” Cooper explained. 

“We called an ambulance and you were rushed to the hospital. You were extremely anaemic to the point of being dangerously fatigued but you stabilized soon after and we have been waiting for you to wake up ever since,” Blaine's mother said in addition. 

The information re-jogged Blaine's memory enough so he remembered what had happened to him before that. He had abandoned his graduation in favour of finding Kurt, which had lead to them reuniting, confessing their love for one another and to then they had made love. During all of this Blaine's heart had never stop pounding but at the time Blaine hadn't thought much about the physical implications. Not until he and Kurt planned to face his family and his sudden heart condition became so dire his life was put in real danger. After that his mind went fuzzy and he could only assume that meant he had passed out. Somehow he'd gone from there to end up in a hospital surround by his family and where his heart felt fine. The missing details hardly mattered to him, all he wanted to know was one thing: where was Kurt? Was he hiding somewhere out of sight? 

_'Kurt. Are you there?'_ Blaine sent inside his mind. Nothing. There was no reply; Blaine couldn't feel Kurt's presence at all. 

“Blaine, is everything all right? If you can't remember yet you don't need to push yourself,” Grace said. 

Oh how ironic life could be. Here was a time when Blaine had a legitimate reason – being hospitalized – for not having to admit the truth and yet he refused to stall. He wanted to be honest with himself and his family in turn – no matter what the repercussions may be. Actually this might be his best chance to Blaine realized, since he was a patient and thus under the hospital's protection. His mind made up, Blaine turned to face his family and prepared himself for what would surely come next. 

“Was there anyone with me when you found me in my dorm room? Or did anyone show up at the hospital asking where I was? Someone named Kurt?” Blaine asked. 

“Not that we know of, is he a classmate of yours, Blaine?” his father asked innocently. 

Blaine paused to look at Cooper, who's expression had changed the moment he heard Kurt's name and the two brothers shared a quick moment of understanding. Whatever happened next, at least Blaine would have his brother on his side. 

“No, he's not a classmate... he's my boyfriend,” Blaine explained. ________________________________________________________________________ 

“Are up for receiving a visitor, Mr. Anderson?” a familiar voice chimed from the doorway. 

Blaine, who had been trying to doze off for what had felt like ages, suddenly snapped up to find Kurt leaning on the doorframe to his hospital room. It took all of Blaine's control not to leap from his bed and rush to hug Kurt – that and the IV drip connected to his arm. Kurt looked tired, he had large bags under his eyes but he was still as gorgeous as ever. Trust him to return to him in such a nonchalant way too. 

“Kurt!” Blaine said excitedly. “I'm been waiting for you to come!” 

Kurt hurried over to the bed and clasped Blaine's outstretched hands; he was crying as well. 

“I'm sorry to make you wait so long Blaine, because believe me, that was not my intention,” Kurt said cryptically. 

Blaine was too happy to see him to worry about what Kurt meant by that and he was sure he would tell him soon enough. So there was nothing to stop the couple from sharing a long overdue hug, and Kurt's touch was warm but gentle and just the thing Blaine needed after what he had been through. All of the emotional pain and stress didn't wash away now that Kurt was with him, it just simply was pushed aside and made bearable by his calming presence. 

“I was so worried about you, Blaine,” Kurt breathed. 

“Me too. I mean, I was worried about you,” Blaine said. 

Kurt pulled back so he could wipe the tears from his eyes, but one look at Blaine, who was beaming at up with teary eyes, sent him off and again and he sighed in defeat. Kurt laughed softly as he hugged Blaine again, stroking his back and he pressed his cheek against Blaine's. 

“I know we should fill each other in what's happened to us but can it wait for a moment... or two?” Kurt asked reluctantly. 

Blaine was both relieved and touched that he and Kurt were on the same page yet again. “Yes please.”

They remained in each other’s arms for a spell, until neither one of them could bear it any longer and the couple pulled back only so they could share a tender kiss. Blaine closed his eyes as their lips continued to touch and he grasped the sides of Kurt's face and neck with his hands. When that first kiss was over Kurt's eyes fluttered open as he smiled at Kurt and Blaine's heart started to race but at a normal pace for once. 

“I love you,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt again. 

Kurt laughed and said, “I love you too, and I'm so glad you're okay Blaine. How's your heart? Please tell me it's all right?” 

“My heart's fine Kurt, it's beating normally, and correct me if I'm wrong but I think I have you to thank for it?” 

Kurt nodded. “Yes, it was me. I used my powers to heal it,” he confirmed. 

Blaine figured it was time for them to start the long process in filling in each others blanks and while everything that had happened to Blaine was still painfully fresh in his mind, there was no way he wouldn't tell it all to Kurt. To that end, Blaine scooted sideways on his bed to make room for Kurt and he patted the empty spot. Straight away Kurt carefully climbed up on the bed to settle beside Blaine and once he made sure Blaine wasn't in any discomfort, he snuggled up to him. 

“I guess I should start huh?” Kurt commented, showing that he too had no plans to stall. 

“It would make sense to go chronologically, if you'd be so kind to, Kurt,” Blaine said appreciatively. 

Blaine's way with words seemed to make it easier for Kurt to reply but he still took a deep breath in preparation. Blaine listened to Kurt as he told him how he had passed out soon after Kurt had given Blaine some his strength to steady him and how it had all gone down hill from there (metaphorically speaking). His eyes widened in shock when Kurt got to the part where Blaine had actually been dying and Kurt had used every drop of power in him to save him by healing the hole in his heart. By the time Kurt reached the part of the story that explained how his parents had arrived – thanks to him sending Blaine's text – he was crying again but considering what he'd just heard it that was understandable. 

What could he even begin to say to Kurt to show his appreciation, or how truly utterly grateful he was. Just as he began to fret over how to do such a thing he got a sudden idea. 

“Are you up for going to level one, Kurt?” Blaine asked. 

In his surprise, Blaine watched as Kurt's loving smile fade away and change into something that appeared to be... concern? Blaine frowned at Kurt in confusion, perhaps he was still too drained from the healing to manage it but if so, why didn't he just give Blaine a polite no? It didn't make any sense to Blaine, who suddenly realized Kurt's reaction wasn't the only thing slightly off. He couldn't feel Kurt's presence at all, not even a hint. 

Even without Kurt being able to hear Blaine's thoughts, he could apparently still tell what he was thinking. “I'm afraid I can't, Blaine and the reason why will be covered in the next part of my story,” Kurt said. 

“There's more?” Blaine asked before he could stop himself. He'd just assumed that Kurt had been too drained of energy to find him until now. 

“Oh, there's more... the reason I can't go to level one is because... I've lost the ability to. Forever. After I healed you, Blaine, I held on as long as I could but I passed out and when I woke, I found myself bound and chained and surrounded in wall-to-wall light. Then, just as my senses were returning to me, Quinn appeared and explained how the angels had just managed to get to me before the demons did. She of course worded it so they sounded like my rescuers but it was clear to me they were anything but. Quinn had been sent to give one final attempt to have me join their side.” 

“Of course I wasn't going to do anything like that and in my usual snarky way, I got pretty verbal with my reply comments. Understandably I was pissed as hell 'cause I just wanted to get out of there and go make sure you were safe Blaine, so I wasn't very cooperative. But I finally realized that antagonizing her would get me no where, so I changed tactics and offered them a deal,” Kurt explained. 

“What sort of deal?”

“The sort where all of us: myself, the angels, demons and in a way you too -- would get what we wanted. I offered my cooperation for them to make me human, thus robbing me of my seemingly unlimited power and consequentially making me no longer a concern of theirs,” Kurt said. 

Blaine could hardly believe it; that Kurt would sacrifice himself in such a way just so he could be with him. It was earth shaking and Blaine crumbled against Kurt in shock, resting his head upon his boyfriend’s shoulder. Kurt smiled at Blaine, as if to tell him that everything would be all right without the need for words. He wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulder, kissed his forehead softly and whispered little sweet nothings into his ear. Kurt's attempts to calm Blaine down were working but he still hardly knew how to react to the news. It made his own story about admitting his relationship to his family quite anticlimactic in comparison. 

“I know this is a lot to take in right now Blaine, but I need to you know that I made the choice without a moments doubt. From the minute we confessed our love for one another, in the back of my mind I kept thinking how we could never have a normal life, or at least not forever. There would always be the fear of either side of my heritage, or both at once even, would catch up with me and ruin whatever life we managed to build together. So it was no question whether I could give up my powers to be rid of them once and for all.” 

Blaine wanted to believe him, and he did, or nearly so and to become completely convinced, Blaine asked, “Are you sure?” 

Kurt smiled at Blaine; pausing to press the side of his face against the top of his head. “Yes Blaine, I'm am completely and whole-heartily sure. I want us to spend our lives together, and not just your life, but mine as well. I may only have one human life ahead of me now, but oh what a life it shall be. No pressure of course,” Kurt answered. 

As Kurt had said earlier, it was a lot for Blaine to take in. He got the feeling it would take several more talks with Kurt to wrap his head around it but that could wait for the time being. What Blaine wanted most was the focus on the bright side of things and how Kurt had chosen to be with him and he was about to learn that Blaine had done the same thing – essentially. 

“Do you think they'll leave you alone for good?” Blaine questioned. 

“God I hope so. When Quinn and I parted ways she shook my hand and wished me luck. As for Santana, she appeared the second I touched ground again, yelled at me for being so fucking stupid and then she told me where you were before making a dramatic exit.” 

“I owe them both a debt of gratitude then.” 

Kurt snorted, “I wouldn't go _that_ far, Blaine.” 

They took another short pause to silently reflect on what Kurt had just shared as they lay together on the bed. Truth be told, Blaine would miss their emotional connection but losing it was a small price to pay in the end. At the time, Blaine had been too focused on confessing his feelings to Kurt -- and then the joy that he felt the same way -- to think about how Kurt's dual heritage would complicate their lives. 

“So what about you, Blaine? What had you looking so sad and alone when I first arrived?” Kurt gently coaxed. 

Blaine smiled; it was so like Kurt to know when to use just enough humour to make things easier for him to share. 

“I told my family about you, and who you really are to me,” Blaine said. 

Kurt's eyes widened slightly. “And how did that go?” 

“As well as I though it would, which means horribly. The moment I said that you were my boyfriend and that I no longer wanted to be a priest... everything changed. Suddenly my parents concern for my well being turned to shock, disbelief, confusion and anger. My mom broke out hysterically crying and my dad... he... couldn't even look at me at first. Not until I told him a second time to make myself perfectly clear. That's when he got angry and yelled, 'Haven't you learned from your past mistakes, Blaine? How could you do this your mother and I?' and stuff like that,” Blaine explained to Kurt, who squeezed Blaine's hand when he took a quick pause. 

“As you can probably imagine things got pretty intense... and no matter what I said to them, my mom and dad refused to listen to reason. They kept saying how I was confused and didn't know what I was saying and that I was relapsing, because of course being gay isn't a choice...” he said, choking back sad bitterness. “... it's a disease that they so desperately wanted to cure me of.” 

Blaine broke down crying as the painful memories came back and he was finally able to let out all of the hurt he'd felt at the moment it had happened. He no longer needed to be strong to get through it all, because he had what he needed most: Kurt. Kurt was there beside him, hugging him, kissing his forehead as he cried his heart out. Kurt didn't try to coddle him either, or tell him that it all would be okay. 

A short while later Blaine cried his last tear and he stopped himself from apologizing for breaking down, since he knew Kurt would tell him there was no need. Instead he kissed Kurt softly on the lips and let himself be gathered up in his boyfriends’ loving embrace.

“Take as long as you need Blaine, we have all the time in the world,” Kurt said. 

“Wow, I really, really needed that Kurt, so thank you for knowing me so well. At the time I managed to keep my emotions in check but on the inside, having them reject me like that... it really hurt... even when I knew it would was likely to happen.” 

“Sometimes you can have all the time to prepare and it still doesn't make it any easier to live through.” 

Blaine sighed, “Yeah... anyway, things fell apart pretty quick after that. Cooper tried his best to referee between us but it was no use. My dad's ignorance wouldn't budge and my mom kept refusing to even admit what the truth of the situation was. The last thing my dad said to me, right before he was forcefully lead away by security... was that I was no longer his son.” 

Kurt's grip around Blaine's shoulders tightened protectively. “Sounds like we've both been through quite the ordeal today,” he said. 

The lingering effects of his parent’s rejection were so severe that he was sure would remain for years to come. But what made it all bearable was how Blaine could finally start loving himself for who he was, in spite of his parent’s inability to. He refused to let anyone dictate how he should live his life or whom he had the right to love. Blaine was gay, but he was so much more than the sum of his sexual orientation, just like everyone else in the world. 

“Think this means we'll get a break finally?” Blaine asked. 

Kurt groaned, “Fuck I hope so, because we sure deserve one.” 

“So what happens next?” 

“I was hoping we could take a nap before anything else,” Kurt said, letting out a long yawn. 

Blaine knew Kurt was just teasing him, so he simply rolled his eyes in response. “I meant over-all Kurt, suddenly my life is no longer mapped out in front of me. I have no idea what to do with myself or where to go. It's all up in the air,” Blaine explained. 

“Amazingly enough, I might have something for you there, Blaine. I was just about to relocate to New York and while those plans have obviously have changed now that we're together. From my experiences with the city, we'd both do well there. I think it would be perfect town for us to start a new chapter of our lives, one where we are finally together.” 

There was no need to for Blaine to agonize over the decision, because he already knew he wanted to go. He sat up on the bed and turned around so he could kiss Kurt softly.

“Let's do it, let's move to New York,” Blaine said excitedly.

“All right then, it's decided!” Kurt chimed. “So... about that nap I mentioned before...” 

Blaine choked back a laugh and replied, “Sure.” 

As soon as Blaine and Kurt settled down to rest, their bodies need for sleep soon took over and they quickly dozed off. Blaine was the first to wake, but not because he'd gotten more sleep out of the two of them, but from someone gently calling his name. 

“Mr. Anderson,” a pleasant sounding female voice repeated. 

Blaine's eyes fluttered opened to see his assigned nurse standing over him. At the sight of her he fully awoke and he would have sat up, if it weren't for Kurt, who was draped over his chest and looked too peaceful to disturb.

“Hi, yes, sorry. I'm awake,” Blaine muttered groggily. 

“You're being released from the hospital with a clean bill of health, so you're free to go when you're ready,” the nurse informed him. 

Blaine smiled at her bashfully. He thanked her for letting him know and told her they would head off in a moment. Once she left to continue on with her duties, Blaine gently shook Kurt to wake him. “Kurt, it's time to get up.” 

“Hmm?” Kurt mumbled. 

“I'm allowed to go now,” Blaine said. 

Kurt yawned as Blaine helped him sit up on the bed. “Oh, good.” 

“I'll just go get changed and we can head off. Wait for me here; I won't be long,” Blaine quickly explained, giving Kurt a quick peck on the lips before scurrying off. 

Kurt smiled lovingly at Blaine as he watched him go and once he was alone, he swung his legs over the bed and in preparation to leave. He didn't stand though, instead he just let his feet hang as he brought his hands up in front of his face. It was strange but he didn't feel that different now that he was human. He knew better than to expect that he'd adapt to the changes so easily but at least there was no lingering aftershock. Kurt wasn't about to morn the power he had lost, or his wings, or even his connection with Blaine. None of that mattered to him – well except the third one -- and if giving up that meant that he didn't have to run anymore, it was worth it. 

Blaine stepped back into the room dressed in the outfit that Kurt had picked out for him that morning, and the two smiled at one another flirtatiously. 

“So I know we're all ready to head off to New York, but there's still a few loose ends to tie up here I'm afraid,” Blaine said. 

Kurt smiled at him affectionately. “Such as?” 

“I need to get my stuff which originally was packed up in my parents rental car. Cooper managed to save it from my dad's wrath. The school’s holding it for me until I come and claim it.” 

“Oh, well that's fine Blaine, I still have to deal with packing my apartment up anyway.”

“Did you ever plan to?” Blaine said teasingly. 

Kurt rolled his eyes and muttered, “I was gonna get to it... eventually, as soon as I found an apartment in New York.” 

Blaine offered his hand to Kurt, who took it and the young couple walked together hand in hand out of the hospital room. They were too focused on each other to even notice if anyone was reacting to their harmless PDA. Kurt for one had never cared about what others thought about his life in general so that wasn't a big difference for him. But Blaine, who had often nervously looked around whenever he and Kurt were outside together, now he had definitely changed. He seemed more confident and seeing him like this filled Kurt with a lovely warmth. 

They chatted together about what they should do when it came to preparing for their impending move to the Big Apple, and things quickly turned flirtatious. 

While the future was still unknown, their world seemed a whole lot brighter and despite their many struggles in reaching this point – they had gotten each other out of it and in Kurt's opinion, that was far better than a pair of wings.


	11. Epilogue

It was nearing dinnertime and Blaine was idly passing the hours in his and Kurt's one room apartment, or that had been the plan. Unfortunately for him, his attempts weren't going so well and he was becoming increasingly bored. So much for being able to function when Kurt was off doing his own thing. Though Blaine's accusations were a bit harsh because it wasn't like his life had come to a sudden stop or anything that extreme. He just missed his boyfriend, regardless of the fact that he'd only been gone for four hours. 

The apartment was spotless, so there were no chores for Blaine to preoccupy himself with and he had the day off from work too. Normally Blaine didn't feel this caged in but it was turning out to be an unusual day, or maybe just a horribly monotonous one. 

In his attempts to fight boredom, Blaine opened up his laptop to find something on the Internet to amuse himself with. There was always YouTube, though on instinct Blaine first went to his newly made Facebook page just to have a quick look. Nothing going on there and Blaine was about close the tab when he noticed he'd gotten a new friend request. His curiosity peeked, Blaine clicked the correct icon on the top of his browser to see who it might be. He thought he'd already added practically everyone from work, or had he missed someone by mistake? 

The unknown person's icon wasn't any clue to their identity though, which was a lighthouse of all things. Blaine frowned in confusion; why a lighthouse and not a photo of themselves? Then Blaine looked at the name underneath the icon: Eli. C.

“I can't believe it!” Blaine gasped. 

It was Eli! Blaine was beside himself with surprise. After all this time, Eli had found him online. At least, Blaine couldn't think of another person with the same initials who would have any interesting in friending him on Facebook. Just to be sure Blaine clicked on his icon to go to his Facebook page, only to discover it was private locked. Blaine himself had done the same thing, but what the one accessible page showed was his date of birth and it matched. 

Blaine's mind was a whirlwind. He still hadn't been able to look for Eli himself yet, but that was more due to the busy year he'd had. Blaine was too stunned to click the grant friend request button just yet and he wanted to run it by Kurt first anyway. He whipped out his cellphone and went to the number one contact in his list and hit the call button. 

“Hi, Blaine,” Kurt replied before his boyfriend could get a word in. “I'm sorry I'm running late, I'm heading to the grocery store next, so our romantic dinner at home is still a go.” 

“That's great Kurt, but that's not why I'm calling. You'll never guess what just happened to me!” Blaine exclaimed. 

“It must be something pretty exciting for you're voice to get this high pitched,” Kurt said teasingly. 

“Eli found me on Facebook! He sent me a friend request!” 

“Eli as in the same Eli who you were friends with and lost your virginity to?” 

Blaine groaned, “Kurt, you know I love our playful banter but I'm being serious about this! It's just so out of the blue! I don't know what I should do!” 

“You could accept his friend request. I know how you've always wondered what happened to him, so here's your chance to finally.” 

Blaine glanced at Eli's icon in his friend notification page for a moment. What would he even begin to say to him? 'Oh hey there Eli, sorry I never tried to contact you. I wanted to but I was too afraid and in denial to at first. So um, guess what, I'm out now and living with my boyfriend in New York? How crazy is that?' Ugh. Blaine felt embarrassed just imagining it. 

“You are going to talk to him right? Don't tell me you're calling to get my permission first. Because while that is sweet of you it's completely ridiculous, Blaine. Whom you wish to talk to, whether they're a past relationship or the closest you ever got to having one, doesn't make a difference. I trust you, so don't hold back on my account,” Kurt said. 

Blaine smiled lovingly, even when Kurt wasn't there to see his adoring heart-eyes himself. “Gosh you know me so well Kurt, thank you for saying exactly what I needed to hear. I know I don't need your permission but he just appeared out of nowhere so I panicked. I guess I was using the excuse to check with you first as a way to stall.” 

“I get it, a lot has happened to you since you last saw him. But, if he's reaching out to you that probably means there's no hard feelings. If I'm wrong and he's out to cyber-bully you Blaine, then while I may not have as much power as I used to, I can still make him live to regret it.” 

Blaine laughed since he knew Kurt was just kidding around. “You're right, I should accept his request and just see what happens from there but what should I say to him?” Blaine asked hopelessly. 

“How about 'hello'? That's always a good place to start.” 

“I love you so much, Kurt,” Blaine gushed. 

“Love you too. I just made it to the grocery store, are you going to be okay? If you want I can just come home now and we can order take out instead?” 

“I'll be fine Kurt, but thank you for offering. Go pick out the food for our meal tonight while I face my fears and click the accept button.” 

“Happy chatting Blaine, love you.” 

“Likewise, bye,” Blaine said before ending the call. 

Thanks to Kurt's words of encouragement, Blaine felt more ready to face Eli, though that was putting it a little dramatically. Talking to him didn't need to be so difficult, it wasn't like they were seeing each other face to face or anything so personal. All Blaine had to worry about was context, since the written word could easily become misleading – especially online. 

Blaine clicked the accept button on Eli's request and let out a sigh of relief. Of course now there was the matter of if he should write something to him right away or wait for Eli to make the first comment. His little moral conundrum was cut short when Blaine heard the familiar chime that meant he had gotten a message on facebook. Blaine looked at the screen of his laptop and hovered his mouse over the message icon and saw that it was from Eli. 

_**Hey there Blaine, thanks for accepting my friend request.** _

_Thank you for messaging me, Eli, it's been too long._

_**Oh good, I was worried I didn't have the right Blaine at first. But then I saw your profile pic and figured it had to be.** _

Blaine chuckled to himself; his profile pic was a striped bowtie that he hadn't gotten around to changing yet – and he'd actually grown rather attached to it (Kurt had taken the photo). 

_**I had no leads to go on when I finally got the nerve to track you down, so it took a while.** _

_Yeah, sorry about that, I kind of went off the digital grid for a while there._

__Where are you living? If you don't mind me asking. I swear I'm not stalking you or anything._ _

__Would you believe I'm in New York? Cause sometimes I still don't._ _

__**That's great to hear Blaine, I'm in San Francisco myself.** _ _

_Blaine wondered if Eli moving to a city that had a large gay community meant what he thought it could. He supposed he could just ask Eli if he was out but considering their past history, the idea made Blaine feel more than a little uncomfortable._

__How are you liking it there?_ Blaine asked instead. _

__**It's very different from Ohio but then that was the point. I really like it here, even with all of the fog.** _ _

__How long have you been living there?_ _

__**Almost three years now, how about you? Because last I heard you were in Washington.** _ _

__I was, up until eleven months ago. I needed a change of a location._ _

__**I hear you there.** _ _

_Without thinking it over, Blaine wrote. – _So I'm out now. It took me a while to accept it, but coming out was the best thing I ever did._ \-- and hit the send button. Blaine held his breath as he waited to see how Eli would reply to the news. _

__**So am I. I came out four years ago myself. It was rough at first, but I don't regret it.** _ _

_What should Blaine say next? Would this be a good time to slip in the fact that he had a boyfriend? It still felt a bit too soon for that and Blaine didn't want to sound like he was boasting. It wasn't like he was intentionally hiding Kurt either, since there were photos of him and them together all over his Facebook page in addition to his status being 'in a relationship with Kurt Hummel' – the Hummel part being Kurt's newly chosen surname._

__**Wanna swap coming out stories?** _ _

__Sure._ _

__**I'll go first then since it was my idea, but I warn you mine's a long one.** _ _

_Blaine glanced at the bottom of his screen to check the time; there was still a couple hours before dinner and Kurt wouldn't be back from shopping for a while yet._

__I have time, Eli, so you go right ahead. =)_ _

_Blaine read from his spot on the bed as Eli told him the details that had lead to him finally accepting the fact he was gay and how he gathered the courage to come out. While it wasn't remotely similar to Blaine's own story, it was still touching and Blaine became quite emotional towards the end of it – especially when Eli admitted that his parents hadn't taken the news very well._

__I wish I could say it was better for me but that would be a lie. My mom and dad still won't talk to me._ _

__**I think my mom's starting to turn around, but that could just be wishful thinking on my part. Sorry, this isn't very cheery subject matter huh?** _ _

__Nope but it feels go to share it with someone who can relate._ _

___Yeah, it sure does, not that I'm without friends or anything. I've made a good life for myself here, one I'm not the least bit ashamed of._ _ _

__This seemed liked a perfect moment for Blaine to mention Kurt, who should be coming home any minute. Not that anything he had told Eli was something he felt the need to hide, as it was all family friendly stuff despite how well they had once known each other._ _

__As if on cue, Kurt stepped through the front door of their apartment, his arms full of grocery bags. “Phew, that was quite the journey home! Next time I'm shopping closer to the apartment because that bus ride was like an adventure on its own. I think I lost an apple along the way somewhere,” Kurt rambled as he hurried over to place his bags on their small kitchen table._ _

__Kurt looked around for signs of his boyfriend, he quickly realized wasn't in the living room so he went to their bedroom next. Sure enough, there was Blaine, sitting cross-legged with his computer on his lap and he instantly lit up at the sight of him._ _

__“Hi!” Blaine said cutely._ _

__“Are you still chatting with Eli?” Kurt asked, though there was no hint of concern in his voice._ _

__“Why don't you come over here and see for yourself,” Blaine flirted._ _

__Kurt smirked at his boyfriend's less than subtle hint but he didn't make any move towards him. “I think I will. Right after I put the frozen goods away!” he said, darting out of Blaine's vision again._ _

__“So I take it that Eli didn't contact you with plans for ill intent then?” Kurt called from the kitchen._ _

__Again Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't being serious and he loved him for that; how they could tease one another without the fear of misunderstanding. “It's going really well, he just finished telling me his coming out story and I was just about to begin mine,” he explained._ _

__“Is he still in Ohio?”_ _

__“No, he moved to San Francisco three years ago.”_ _

__Kurt reappeared a few minutes later and flopped down on the bed beside Blaine, who gave him a quick kiss on the lips in greeting. When he noticed Kurt eyes glance towards his laptop Blaine turned his computer so he could get a proper look. He watched Kurt's eyes scan the text messages and his cute little grin never faltered for even a second._ _

__“Sounds like he's been through a lot huh?” Kurt said when he was apparently done._ _

__Blaine nodded. “Yeah. I'm just glad he's happy now though.”_ _

__“Any idea if he's single or not?”_ _

__“It hasn't come up. Why do you ask?”_ _

__Kurt leaned in close to Blaine's face so he could kiss in on the cheek. “No reason. I just get the feeling that his reason for contacting you isn't just to catch up.”_ _

__“You think he wants to ask me out? Kurt, he lives half way across the country!” Blaine pointed out._ _

__“You'd be surprise how far the human race is willing to go for the sake of romance.”_ _

__During their playful banter, Blaine had completely forgotten about Eli and Blaine was just about to kiss his alluring boyfriend when he heard his laptop make a little bleep sound and both he and Kurt looked at the screen._ _

___**Blaine... are you still there?** _ _ _

__Blaine's hands flew across his keyboard so he could type of a quick reply._ _

___Yes I am! Sorry about that, I got distracted there for a second._ _ _

__“Should I go excuse myself so I won't be a distraction any longer?” Kurt whispered seductively into Blaine's ear._ _

__He didn't want Kurt to leave but at the rate he was going, Blaine knew he wouldn't be able to resist Kurt for much longer. Soon he would have Kurt pinned to the bed, or vice versa, and any thoughts of Eli or getting to share his own coming out story would swiftly be forgotten._ _

__“You're welcome to stay Kurt, though please forgive me if I can't give you my full attention just yet,” Blaine said playfully._ _

__Back in the digital world, Eli had no idea that Blaine had company who also happened to be his loving boyfriend._ _

___**Oh good. 'Cause I was afraid I might have said something that sent you away.** _ _ _

__Guilt brought Blaine back to giving Eli proper attention and Kurt remained quiet at his side so he could do so._ _

___Not at all Eli! You haven't done anything like that._ _ _

___**I'm so relieved. Cause if I were to be perfectly honest with you Blaine, I've always regretted that I never admitted my true feelings to you. Back when were still friends but never had the courage to see if we could be anything more.** _ _ _

__“And here it is, just like clockwork,” Kurt said. “Although considering it's you Blaine, I don't blame Eli one bit.”_ _

__Blaine rolled his eyes playfully at Kurt; they both trusted each other by so much that not even a potential rival appearing on the scene (or in this case: screen) could challenge their bond. Besides, as Kurt had basically said, Eli wasn't at fault for admitting his feelings to Blaine, even if that meant Blaine had to turn him down gently now._ _

__“Anyway, I'm going to go put a start on dinner because having me hanging over your shoulder wouldn't be very helpful. I trust you to nonchalantly slip in the fact that you're happily taken, Blaine,” Kurt said as he got up off the bed._ _

__Blaine let him go, but not without straightening up so he could give Kurt a kiss goodbye, even if he was just going to the kitchen. “Thanks for the good advice,” he muttered sarcastically._ _

__“Good luck, say hi to Eli for me and I'll call you when dinner's ready.”_ _

__“I'll miss you,” Blaine chimed and then turned his attention back to his computer and Eli, who was probably worried that he really had crossed a line this time._ _

___Sorry about that. The thing is Eli, I'm in a relationship already. I should have mentioned it sooner._ _ _

___**You don't need to apologize Blaine. I'm happy for you and I should've known better than to check your relationship status first anyway. Is he part of your coming out story then?** _ _ _

___He's a large part of it, yes._ _ _

___**Is it serious? With you and your boyfriend I mean?** _ _ _

__Just the thought of how serious his relationship with Kurt had become over the past eleven months made his eyes fall to his the top of his dresser drawer, where hidden inside an inconspicuous looking rolled up sock was a small velvet lined box._ _

___Very. Actually, between you and me... I'm going to ask him to marry me soon. I got a ring and everything, which I'm amazed he hasn't found yet._ _ _

___**Congrats. What's his name? Is he cute? I know I could check myself but that seems a bit intrusive.** _ _ _

__Blaine smiled as he type an answer to each one of Eli's questions about Kurt, who might soon become his fiancé. Oh forget the 'might' part, Blaine knew he was going to say yes, the only thing keeping him from popping the question yet was timing. Well that and how he wanted his proposal to be perfect and considering how amazing Kurt was, that was proving to be a major challenge._ _

___His name is Kurt and he is the cutest. I'm seriously the luckiest guy the world._ _ _

__Blaine managed to follow through with on sharing his own coming out story, going with the altered one he and Kurt had come up with together. It had been surprisingly easy to omit the parts involving angels, demons and Kurt's special abilities to come up with something that people would actually believe. In fact a number of his female co-workers of Blaine's told him that they thought it was the most romantic story they'd ever heard._ _

___**Okay, that settles it. You win, Blaine.** _ _ _

___Eli, stop, it's not like we were competing against one another._ _ _

__“Blaine, dinner's ready,” Kurt announced._ _

___That's Kurt now. Dinner is finished, so this is where I'll have to leave you. For now anyway. It was really nice talking to you, Eli._ _ _

___**Same here Blaine, we should try to stay in touch from now on, okay? That is, if you're soon to be fiancé doesn't mind.** _ _ _

___I know he won't. As for the fiancé part, well, there's one way to find out, so wish me luck. Gotta go, bye!_ _ _

__But he didn't bother to wait to see Eli's reply, as he now was a man on a very important – and equally romantic – mission. His heart started to beat a little faster in anticipation as Blaine got up from the bed to take the ring box from its hiding place. Blaine opened it up so he could admire the silver ring inside for a moment. Could he really do it, just like that? What if he just messed things up? Surely Kurt deserved something better than Blaine just getting down on one knee in their kitchen of all places?_ _

__Oh who was he kidding, at the rate he was going it could be years before he managed to create the perfect moment. All that mattered was that he loved Kurt and he already knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. They were already acting like an old married couple anyway, minus all the sex they were having. After all, like the saying went, 'there's nothing like the present.'_ _

__“Blaine?”_ _

__Just the sound of Kurt's beautiful sounding voice gave Blaine the final push. He snapped the lid closed on the ring box, slipped it into his pants pocket and headed merrily towards the door and his awaiting soulmate._ _

__“Coming,” Blaine said with a giddy lovesick smile on his face._ _

__The End_ _


End file.
